Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #1  August 3,2009, 3:04am
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Arrh, I note a theme about those for or against “dating” more than one person at once. I don’t quite get it. Perhaps folk are using the term dating as synonymous with “sexual relations.” Might make some sense then if they’re taking about serial relationships.


[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]But I digress. My 49th birthday is coming up. I’d toyed with taking a trip somewhere – I like train travel. But then thought I might make a bit of an effort. Last year had been a bit of shallow affair; a relationship was petering out. I did have a pleasant dinner with my sons, and middle son made a cake.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  August 3,2009, 5:00am
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Not real sure what the question is here. But I do think that you have confused a lot of what has been said on these boards.

First you inviting a group of friends, male and female, to share the celebration of your birth is not a date. It is a party.

Going on dates with someone does not indicate a serious relationship. Only once you have BOTH discussed and agreed to be exclusive do you need to be dating only one person. Until you BOTH have agreed to be exclusive you should expect that your match / date is dating others and it is to your advantage to be dating others. You in fact are dating multiple people by your own admission "But in the absence of any relationship, I take whoever will accompany me to theatre, invite those willing to endure my cooking to dinner, and sit up late sipping wine with whoever I’m with."
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 3,2009, 5:28am
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[quote=Fleuellen;697157]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]But I digress. My 49th birthday is coming up. I’d toyed with taking a trip somewhere – I like train travel. But then thought I might make a bit of an effort. Last year had been a bit of shallow affair; a relationship was petering out. I did have a pleasant dinner with my sons, and middle son made a cake.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  August 3,2009, 5:49am
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Are you multiple dating? It's not clear her. What it sounds like is that you keep a lot of lady friends around for "varying degrees of closeness", So your question is?........... Keep them all around and see if you can find that "someone " to grow old with?.....Good luck with that....... most women don't want to compete with your harem of lady friends......... Sounds like a kid in the candy store fantasy to me....
Fleuellen wrote :
Arrh, I note a theme about those for or against “dating” more than one person at once. I don’t quite get it. Perhaps folk are using the term dating as synonymous with “sexual relations.” Might make some sense then if they’re taking about serial relationships.
But I digress. My 49 birthday is coming up. I’d toyed with taking a trip somewhere – I like train travel. But then thought I might make a bit of an effort. Last year had been a bit of shallow affair; a relationship was petering out. I did have a pleasant dinner with my sons, and middle son made a cake.
So this year I thought I’d invite a dozen or so friends to a neat pub I’d recently discovered. It is has backgammon and chest sets laying about, open fire place, a den, nice barmen, and captivating atmosphere. There are also a couple of private dinner rooms, with flavorsome and moderately priced food (won’t break my bank).
 Now I my adult son says he come along. I wanted my friends to met him. My son and I had tense relationship around his mother and I divorcing many years ago and then her later death. We’ve been getting on better. But some of my friends haven’t seen him since he was a child or not at all.
I initially thought I’d invite just blokes. But a female friend asked me if I wanted those who I most wanted to share my birthday or not. I also wanted those most important to me and my son to met. So I dropped the gender criteria.
I’ve also a number of close female friends. I’m not sure if it meets the e-harmony definition of dating but I hang out with them. Some are in other relationships, some not, or haven’t always been. Some I’ve been closer to than others at various times. A couple of the relationships go back decades, and others much more recent. I did envisage issue with one significant Ex, but I doubt she’ll attend. And one other with whom I’d only been dating a matter of weeks. I initially hadn’t included her. I don’t really know her well. But I like her. And I figure she be miffed at any exclusion. But equally wouldn’t want her feeling uncomfortable as she’d not know anyone else. I might ask her a bit closer to the time (she might be shot of me by then – such happens) and let her choose.
I’ve never pursued more than one relationship at a time. Mostly because my female friends would never tolerate me treating any partner badly. But in the absence of any relationship, I take whoever will accompany me to theatre, invite those willing to endure my cooking to dinner, and sit up late sipping wine with whoever I’m with. I’d like to grow old with someone, just don’t know anyone who’d accept me over the longer haul. Then again, I’ve mostly been in committed relationships; I married for the first time to a pretty girl I’d met when we were both at school. I don’t feel experiences don’t come too many times in life. And seek to live my life as it is, not as I might wish it.
Anyway, I wanted to share my birthday with those most important to me. And this is where the chips fall.
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 3,2009, 6:02am
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Are you planning to multi-date during your birthday celebrations at the pub on a train, while introducing your son to all your friends, ex-girlfriends and your multiple current dates, none of whom want a relationship, but don't mind going to the theatre with you?

I'm only trying to clarify your question before I offer any other comments, which you may or may not find insulting, based on my misunderstanding of the many interesting facts you so eloquently presented.

Thank you.
 
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