jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  August 2,2009, 12:19am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Tonight I went out with some new friends form the apartment complex I'm living in now. Among them is a 26 year old woman with a 2 year old daughter. She divorced a year ago from a man that even her friends describe as a really great guy. It seems she just got tired of being married and wanted to be single and 'have fun'.

I've seen this same kind of thing before at least a few times, where a woman doesn't have anything really wrong with her marriage...but just wants, as one woman said...'something more exciting'.

Is this what marriage has come to...that it's something you throw away if it just isn't convenient? The thing is, in a couple years this woman may very well be complaining about how men 'don't want to commit'...which is just what women like her are teaching men it's not worthwhile to do.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #2  August 2,2009, 1:07am
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Good point, well made.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  August 2,2009, 2:10am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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Sometimes the obvious, or what seems to be true, is far removed from reality. You've met the woman once, how can you judge her or her marriage/relationship with her ex?

Sometimes, both people are good, decent and admirable, they just can't make it work together in a committed relationship. Have they made a mistake by trying? I have no idea since I was not present, and even if I was, it wouldn't be my call to make.

And I certainly don't think having a beautiful child can ever be considered a mistake. Of course, it would be preferable if the child was growing up in a 2-parent household. But if you ask me, they've acted wisely by separating before becoming enemies at war with each other, so that they can hopefully remain good friends even better parents.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #4  August 2,2009, 2:36am
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jayjay wrote :
Tonight I went out with some new friends form the apartment complex I'm living in now. Among them is a 26 year old woman with a 2 year old daughter. She divorced a year ago from a man that even her friends describe as a really great guy. It seems she just got tired of being married and wanted to be single and 'have fun'.

I've seen this same kind of thing before at least a few times, where a woman doesn't have anything really wrong with her marriage...but just wants, as one woman said...'something more exciting'.

Is this what marriage has come to...that it's something you throw away if it just isn't convenient? The thing is, in a couple years this woman may very well be complaining about how men 'don't want to commit'...which is just what women like her are teaching men it's not worthwhile to do.
Yes, I've met some of the same type of people. They want something more exciting; cheat/split/divorce, then look back with regret. Unfortunately, she has a child and perhaps being single and "having fun" should be taken into consideration.

I have a friend who can only stay in a relationship if there is chaos involved. Maybe this lady is in the same category, maybe there is more to the story. Perhaps she should have waited before she married and had a child with this guy...
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #5  August 2,2009, 5:00am
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I had first hand experience of that.

I married finally, a 30 y o never married woman, that was from Peru, but did not do my "due diligence". In that country divorce is unmentionable, but I did not have much familiarity with that upper middle class fragment of their society that fancies itself 1st world and westernised; and is so in
ALL ways, including throwaway marriages.

I had thought marriage was forever, (the words are "for better or worse" and "till death do us part" aren't they?) and certainly that was my parents' credo and they lived it for 64 years married and I expected this also.

Marriage being for life, it was a seriously considered decision when at age 46 I finally took this big and final step for the first time in my life..

Imagine my shock when I was not only abandoned suddenly 11 years later, for "greener pastures" but 2 years later learnt I had been further hit with bigamy, adultery, and grand theft on a grand scale.

During 2 1/2 years subsequent to discarding me,
my ex wife bore her first 2 babies and got another divorce in her mid 40's

In fact, in a short SEVEN year period, this now ex wife of mine and her latestet ex, have between them, had amassed FIVE divorces !!!


The institution means nothing to some people, evidently. I find them beneath contempt, for this.

I think they are ruining this country and destroying the pillars of our society
Last edited by 6dle899; August 2,2009 at 5:04am.
 
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funnyengineergal is offline funnyengineergal Post #6  August 2,2009, 5:17am
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I have to say I strongly agree with what's been written so far. One primary reason that I haven't married yet is that I haven't found a truly suitable partner with whom I can commit to staying all my life. I do see marriage as a one-time deal and won't just jump into things for the sake of saying I'm Mrs. Whatever. I hope the experience I have acquired through the 30+ years of hanging around this planet will mean that when I do find a good partner, things will work out as they should and we'll stay together until we're so wrinkled it's not even funny.

Oh... seems I woke up kind of melancholic this Sunday...

Me
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  August 2,2009, 5:27am
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What we don’t know is how these women are entering these marriages.
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  August 2,2009, 5:35am
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funnyengineergal wrote :
I have to say I strongly agree with what's been written so far. One primary reason that I haven't married yet is that I haven't found a truly suitable partner with whom I can commit to staying all my life. I do see marriage as a one-time deal and won't just jump into things for the sake of saying I'm Mrs. Whatever. I hope the experience I have acquired through the 30+ years of hanging around this planet will mean that when I do find a good partner, things will work out as they should and we'll stay together until we're so wrinkled it's not even funny.

Oh... seems I woke up kind of melancholic this Sunday...

Me

Well, I just heard a lovely song this morning that may give you a lift!


Closer to Love (Matt Kearney)


She got the call today
One out of the gray
And when the smoke cleared
It took her breath away
She said she didn't believe
It could happen to me
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees
We're gonna get there soon

If every building falls
And all the stars fade
We'll still be singin' this song
The one they can't take away
I'm gonna get there soon,
She's gonna be there too
Cryin' in her room
Prayin' Lord, come through
We're gonna get there soon

Chorus:
Oh it's your light,
Oh it's your way,
Pull me out of the dark
Just to show me the way
Cryin' out now
From so far away...
You pull me closer to love
Closer to love

Meet me once again
Down off Lake Michigan
Where we could feel the storm blowin' down with the wind
And don't apologize
For all the tears you've cried
You've been way too strong now for all your life
I'm gonna get there soon,
You're gonna be there too
Cryin' in your room,
Prayin' Lord come through
We're gonna get there soon

Chorus:
Oh, it's your light
Oh, it's your way
Pull me out of the dark
Just to show me the way
Cryin' out now
From so far away...
Pull me closer to love
Closer to love

'Cause you are all that I've waited for
All of my life (We're gonna get there)
You are all that I've waited for
All of my life
You pull me closer to love
Closer to love
Pull me closer to love
Pull me closer to love
Closer to love, oh no
Closer to love
Closer to love
Pull me closer to love...

YouTube - Mat Kearney - Closer To Love
 
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funnyengineergal is offline funnyengineergal Post #9  August 2,2009, 5:41am
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6dle899 wrote :
Well, I just heard a lovely song this morning that may give you a lift!

Awwwwww!!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!! I loved it!!

Me
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #10  August 2,2009, 5:45am
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"It seems she just got tired of being married and wanted to be single and 'have fun'."

Yes, it might "seem" anything. Who are we to judge why someone else may end or continue a relationship? And I'm not sure if being a "really nice guy" is any criteria for a husband. Maybe a start, but they have to also be a lot more.

As for the comment that these imagined attitudes are why they haven't married? I would have thought don't marry if there is no one you particularly want to marry. But to defer such because of what might happen.

Gosh, a lot can happen! My first wife died. I hadn't really allowed for that. Created no end of problems for our children. I was also with another woman for 9 years. We weren't making each other happy. Both relationships were great! I've 3 charming sons, and a delightful step-daughter (for want of a better term). Better to have loved and lost, I think is the cliché.

Oh, I also know enough acquaintances who are still together of sorts; well they share off spring, a house, financial plans, but no real intimacy. I wouldn’t want to stay in such a relationship. But I wouldn't advice them what was best for them.
 
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