"biological clock ticking"


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  July 31,2009, 4:05pm
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Every time I talk to a friend about relationship and work I end up having a lot of questions for the Community the next day! LOL

Was talking to a male friend on the phone last night, trying to make headway in understanding why the genders can't get along better. One of his hypothesis is that women put undue pressure on a man, even in the VERY early stages of a relationship - like a first date - because their biological clocks are ticking so the themselves feel pressured to find their mate NOW.

Ladies - do you feel this way? Is your clock indeed "ticking" and do you feel pressured by it?

Men - do you pick up on this from women yourselves? If so, is it really as early as the first date?

Looking forward to a respectful and productive discussion.

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-Lori
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  July 31,2009, 4:15pm
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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
Every time I talk to a friend about relationship and work I end up having a lot of questions for the Community the next day! LOL

Was talking to a male friend on the phone last night, trying to make headway in understanding why the genders can't get along better. One of his hypothesis is that women put undue pressure on a man, even in the VERY early stages of a relationship - like a first date - because their biological clocks are ticking so the themselves feel pressured to find their mate NOW.

Ladies - do you feel this way? Is your clock indeed "ticking" and do you feel pressured by it?

Men - do you pick up on this from women yourselves? If so, is it really as early as the first date?

Looking forward to a respectful and productive discussion.

Best,
-Lori
I'm 34. Yes my biological clock is ticking and full well letting me know it! I don't feel pressured ... I feel a combination of sadness and disappointment that I haven't yet married and had a family. It doesn't make me want to rush out and start sizing up every man I meet for compatibility and likelihood of interest for near-immediate marriage and family.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  July 31,2009, 4:24pm
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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
Every time I talk to a friend about relationship and work I end up having a lot of questions for the Community the next day! LOL

Was talking to a male friend on the phone last night, trying to make headway in understanding why the genders can't get along better. One of his hypothesis is that women put undue pressure on a man, even in the VERY early stages of a relationship - like a first date - because their biological clocks are ticking so the themselves feel pressured to find their mate NOW.

Ladies - do you feel this way? Is your clock indeed "ticking" and do you feel pressured by it?

Men - do you pick up on this from women yourselves? If so, is it really as early as the first date?

Looking forward to a respectful and productive discussion.

Best,
-Lori
No I do not pick up on this from the women I date. Of course I am not really one to answer this since for the most part the women I date are past the age that this would be a factor
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  July 31,2009, 4:26pm
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meri75 wrote :
I'm 34. Yes my biological clock is ticking and full well letting me know it! I don't feel pressured ... I feel a combination of sadness and disappointment that I haven't yet married and had a family. It doesn't make me want to rush out and start sizing up every man I meet for compatibility and likelihood of interest for near-immediate marriage and family.
Of all the women that I have known (not dated) in a similar situation I would believe that they had a similar thought process.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #5  July 31,2009, 4:31pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
Every time I talk to a friend about relationship and work I end up having a lot of questions for the Community the next day! LOL

Was talking to a male friend on the phone last night, trying to make headway in understanding why the genders can't get along better. One of his hypothesis is that women put undue pressure on a man, even in the VERY early stages of a relationship - like a first date - because their biological clocks are ticking so the themselves feel pressured to find their mate NOW.

Ladies - do you feel this way? Is your clock indeed "ticking" and do you feel pressured by it?

Men - do you pick up on this from women yourselves? If so, is it really as early as the first date?

Looking forward to a respectful and productive discussion.

Best,
-Lori
Whether my clock is ticking or not is irrelevant; I certainly don't want to hook up with a guy just to have a child. That just seems incredibly irresponsible to me. It certainly wouldn't lead to a healthy relationship, nor would it be a healthy environment in which to raise a child. I would much rather find a quality man with whom to share my life than rush things to produce a child and later find out that we're a terrible match. Besides, if that particular clock should stop ticking, there are other options, i.e., adoption.

That said, I know several women who went into panic mode in their mid-30s if they were not married and didn't have children. It was as if a switch was flipped and they were in "I gotta find a man because I want to have a baby" mode. Some of them are happy now, but more of them are not, having rushed things and ended up in relationships that just aren't working out for them. Some of those who are unhappy seem to have "settled"--rather than seeking Mr. Right, they married Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right Now is now Mr. Wrong. I don't fault them completely, though, for it takes two people to say yes, get married, and have a family. I just feel badly for them and their children and the major problems they are now facing.

On the flip side, I also have dated several men in their 40s who were never married and decided that they wished to have a family before they were too old to enjoy their children. It's almost as if they had a similar time frame (or clock) in their minds. It didn't really make for a comfortable dating situation, and it didn't allow for things to progress naturally, so needless to say, things didn't work out there.

I guess my point is, whether it's the proverbial biological clock or a development of time frame, the desire to have a child is not a good reason to rush forward into a relationship that results in a quick marriage. In the end, I think the negatives could end up far outweighing the positives.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  July 31,2009, 4:32pm
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I don’t think I’ve been on the receiving end of this, but …
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #7  July 31,2009, 7:02pm
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[quote=D_Lion;693951]I don’t think I’ve been on the receiving end of this, but …
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  July 31,2009, 7:31pm
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You can pay attention and deduce many things quickly, particularly if you start with a decision that you will not waste time on men who do not fit your goal.
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #9  July 31,2009, 7:41pm

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Watch the animals in the woods. Both male & female animals have their roles. So yes it's natural for women to "act" female from the first interrogation email to interrogation phone call, to interrogation first date, etc.

All women are private detectives.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #10  July 31,2009, 7:49pm
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I have been having lots of issues with matches on this in the last year. It seems like they have been interested in something I have or something I could provide them.

I definitely have not felt that the matches I have been getting lately are sincerely interested in getting to know me and like me for who I am.

I had trouble picking up on this for a few months when I first started online dating, but with all my experiences I can pick up on it very fast and spot red flags.

I just get the feeling the women I meet lately cannot stand on their own two feet or know what they want, or else I sense they are in a hurry to find a man and get married. I often feel pressured to make a decision fast on whether I want to marry them or not, and I have been asked about kids on a first date quite a few times.

I have given up with online dating and am just focusing on losing weight and my career right now. I just got burned out with meeting the same types of golddiggers or "in a hurry women" over and over again.
 
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