Preferences vs. Prejudice - what do YOU think?


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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #61  July 30,2009, 9:54am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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jayjay wrote :
Now, on the other hand, I could get behind a thread on "what makes your eyes cross and slowly roll back inside your head?"
Dare to start one?

I think I really need to get some sleep...
Have fun rolling those eyes!
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #62  July 30,2009, 10:25am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Preference is a choice for something with out total exclusion of everything (everyone) that does not meet that preference. In other words keeping an open mind.

Prejudice is total exclusion based on a trait. Or not being open minded.

There is a very fine line between when something is a preference and when you are prejudiced.
I totally disagree with this. A preference can be every bit as intractable and exclusionary as a prejudice. The potential for exceptions to the rule is not implicit in the definition.
Last edited by last12C; July 30,2009 at 12:11pm.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #63  July 30,2009, 12:15pm

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I am in a hotel with the worst possible internet connection...just wanted to say... I labored over a post last night...and the connection ate it, more than once. And I had to sleep at some point. How frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aghhhh! I have a lot to say but no time, and I have no idea how this thread can go on without me and my wisdom, but I guess it will have to

In short....

I've never heard a woman on her call a man a loser for not being able to support dating habits (please find me an example, been here a long time, could be wrong but would be very surprised to see its anywhere near as prevalent as "fattie")

the term fattie has been applied even to PEOPLE here...people brave enough to post their photos and ask real sincere questions. Shameless.

Second...Walter CL. Get your point. Got it. Don't see it happening nearly as much as you say.

Most people I have seen here accept preferences and separate out bullying or insulting behavior. Not always...but I just don't see all the women jumping all over men for not loving them JUST the way they are all the time...

I know it is upsetting to me when people make baseless judgements and act like experts on things they are simply not (like women's clothing sizes) it is personal to ME because I think of all the young women with insecurities who are more likely to be bulimic or something because of the size of their clothing tag, and some clueless guy ranting about a size 10 that he knows nothing about.

Yeah I have some triggers, that would be one of them.

But I just don't see that many people here are unreasonable about maturely stated preferences.

I have seen op's attacked...quite visciously for being overweight and obese and I can't stand that kind of behavior.

This other stuff....I just don't see it. Maybe on occasion but I see more people just being upset about inappropriate judgemental behaviors and or simple tactlessness.

the beach is calling...
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #64  July 30,2009, 12:29pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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cp30 wrote :
I've never heard a woman on her call a man a loser for not being able to support dating habits (please find me an example, been here a long time, could be wrong but would be very surprised to see its anywhere near as prevalent as "fattie")

the term fattie has been applied even to PEOPLE here...people brave enough to post their photos and ask real sincere questions. Shameless.

Second...Walter CL. Get your point. Got it. Don't see it happening nearly as much as you say.

Most people I have seen here accept preferences and separate out bullying or insulting behavior. Not always...but I just don't see all the women jumping all over men for not loving them JUST the way they are all the time...

I know it is upsetting to me when people make baseless judgements and act like experts on things they are simply not (like women's clothing sizes) it is personal to ME because I think of all the young women with insecurities who are more likely to be bulimic or something because of the size of their clothing tag, and some clueless guy ranting about a size 10 that he knows nothing about.

Yeah I have some triggers, that would be one of them.

But I just don't see that many people here are unreasonable about maturely stated preferences.

I have seen op's attacked...quite visciously for being overweight and obese and I can't stand that kind of behavior.

This other stuff....I just don't see it. Maybe on occasion but I see more people just being upset about inappropriate judgemental behaviors and or simple tactlessness.

the beach is calling...
It seems like a lot of the threads start out as a lament, such as "Oh why, oh why don't people want to date me because I'm skinny/fat/short/tall/bald/poor/etc.?" Then people will inevitably come to their 'rescue' saying things like "People who don't want you for this reason don't know what they're missing, it's their loss, are inferior to you" etc.

Then there are the ever present arguments over facts and their interpretation...such as can/should/why don't people lose weight, what does this mean etc. As one 'side' almost never convinces the other these can end with one or both sides are just saying the other is dumb.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #65  July 30,2009, 12:36pm
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jayjay wrote :
It seems like a lot of the threads start out as a lament, such as "Oh why, oh why don't people want to date me because I'm skinny/fat/short/tall/bald/poor/etc.?" Then people will inevitably come to their 'rescue' saying things like "People who don't want you for this reason don't know what they're missing, it's their loss, are inferior to you" etc.
Maybe, just maybe, they're not that into you.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #66  July 30,2009, 12:39pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Mr_Right wrote :
Maybe, just maybe, they're not that into you.
See....now you're being mean to the short/tall/fat/skinny/bald/poor person.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #67  July 30,2009, 12:40pm
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jayjay wrote :
It seems like a lot of the threads start out as a lament, such as "Oh why, oh why don't people want to date me because I'm skinny/fat/short/tall/bald/poor/etc.?" Then people will inevitably come to their 'rescue' saying things like "People who don't want you for this reason don't know what they're missing, it's their loss, are inferior to you" etc.
I would agree with this. I also think there is the factor that those who do express a preference end up becoming the villain. This holds true for a variety of threads on a variety of subjects.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #68  July 30,2009, 12:42pm

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jayjay wrote :
It seems like a lot of the threads start out as a lament, such as "Oh why, oh why don't people want to date me because I'm skinny/fat/short/tall/bald/poor/etc.?" Then people will inevitably come to their 'rescue' saying things like "People who don't want you for this reason don't know what they're missing, it's their loss, are inferior to you" etc.

Then there are the ever present arguments over facts and their interpretation...such as can/should/why don't people lose weight, what does this mean etc. As one 'side' almost never convinces the other these can end with one or both sides are just saying the other is dumb.

I just don't see it that much. I have said things along the lines of, "there are some people that prefer that body type, and some that don't" etc etc. Dont waste time on people that are not looking for you. But if someone does say "its their loss" who really cares? That person probably does have other great qualities, that is someone else's loss! Is is it really terrible to try to make someone feel a little bit better!?

I see the same phenomenon MORE often in the "nice guy" threads....where men will lament that they don't have enough money or they are too nice...

But seem to refuse to think it might be their lack of style or they take no pride in their appearance....rarely will someone call them on THAT....I have seen a woman brutally blasted on here.

I've seen some crazy things around here....for sure....and sometimes we have to agree to disagree because what some people seem to think is tact I seem to think is outright cruel. And I've been called shallow or worse a few times myself, so obviously so much is left to intepretation.

However, I think often times a lot of people here come to the table with a set of beliefs....and never really read what other people write, and they leave here with the same beliefs they always had, never really listening or learning from others, or refusing to see the light, and focusing on the dark.

For instance, I don't see what Walter sees...is it really that prevalent or is he focusing on it? if you ask me he is looking for it, even creating it at times because he is so focused on it. Dlion seems to see financial things wherever he goes... I do not (as mentioned, never seen a woman call a guy a loser here for lacking $$).

Are these things that real? or are they just not opening their minds to what people are actually saying here?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #69  July 30,2009, 12:44pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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waltercl wrote :
I would agree with this. I also think there is the factor that those who do express a preference end up becoming the villain. This holds true for a variety of threads on a variety of subjects.
Yes...you start becoming the 'villain' if/when you contradict the 'rescuer'.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #70  July 30,2009, 12:54pm
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jayjay wrote :
Yes...you start becoming the 'villain' if/when you contradict the 'rescuer'.
Yep

I have found that anytime you go against the politically correct flow you can expect some backlash. The same goes for any topic where exclusions and preferences are involved.
 
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