Preferences vs. Prejudice - what do YOU think?


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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #141  August 1,2009, 2:04pm
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- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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last12C wrote :
Have you ever gotten yourself into a size 6 dress and then realized in horror that you could get out of it?

Fear not, for help is available!
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #142  August 1,2009, 2:07pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Fear not, for help is available!
I see you were able to see past my (now corrected) typo!

I hope you have a pair of scissors handy!
Last edited by last12C; August 1,2009 at 2:12pm.
 
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angelpoet is offline angelpoet Post #143  August 1,2009, 2:45pm
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lololol!!!
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #144  August 1,2009, 3:00pm
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angelpoet wrote :
lololol!!!
Is that dream fodder or WHAT?

Do frog hands have the ability to wield scissors with any amount of dexterity?
 
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BSLS is offline BSLS Post #145  August 1,2009, 4:28pm
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The difference I have seen on here is that with the weight issue, the OP/complainer attaches all kinds of value statements or judgments. Many times here I've seen overweight equated with laziness, sloppiness, poor health, etc. and I think that is what makes people's blood boil.

the fact is 1/3 of all American women are a size 14 or above. Whereas a size 14 in our society a generation ago was considered normal, it is now unfortunately considered the low end of plus sizes.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #146  August 1,2009, 4:40pm
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last12C wrote :
** snipped for space **

I believe that one big reason the obesity rate is increasing in America is because Juvenile Obesity is through the roof. The average child today is dining on Mickey-D's and sits in front of the TV or a video game all day instead of going outdoors to play football or build a tree fort. Thing is, the number of fat cells that you will have for life is not set in stone until you hit puberty. After that, you are stuck with it for life. You will never lose a single fat cell (unless you do liposuction ). All you can do is try to shrink what you have.

Most of the medical conditions that are usually put forth as reasons for weight gain consitute less than 2% of the population. You can take hypothyroidism off that list because with proper medical management, good nutrition and exercise that is not a valid reason for obesity. If you are gaining weight from abusing steroids, cry me a river. And if it is necessary to be taking high doses of steroids for a valid medical reason I suggest that your dating life is not going to be the biggest concern in your life.

When I visited Hawaii in 2007, we went into several fast food outlets and restaurants. Something I noticed in all of them, the portion sizes of the meals and drinks served were massive. As a very rough estimation, what was being served as a small sized meal in the US is about the size of our Up-sized meals in Australia. Waltercl has mentioned in previous posts being concerned about the increase of the calorie intake from '80's to current day ... has there been an increase in portion sizes at fast food outlets and restaurants during this time?

What data source are you citing re 2%? It is somewhere online? Your comments re Hypothyroidism and Steroids, is that based upon your own experience in the medical field? Or upon research?
 
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last12C is offline last12C Post #147  August 1,2009, 5:04pm
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meri75 wrote :
When I visited Hawaii in 2007, we went into several fast food outlets and restaurants. Something I noticed in all of them, the portion sizes of the meals and drinks served were massive. As a very rough estimation, what was being served as a small sized meal in the US is about the size of our Up-sized meals in Australia. Waltercl has mentioned in previous posts being concerned about the increase of the calorie intake from '80's to current day ... has there been an increase in portion sizes at fast food outlets and restaurants during this time?

What data source are you citing re 2%? It is somewhere online? Your comments re Hypothyroidism and Steroids, is that based upon your own experience in the medical field? Or upon research?
I agree with you regarding the meal sizes. I cannot eat that much food in one sitting. I think that it is obscene how much food is thrown away in this country when there are so many who go hungry. Any time I go to a restaurant I take home enough for a second and often third meal. (And I also have two doggies ).

My source on the 2% is the etiology sections of my nursing manuals and that was averaged out. And yes, personal experience is what informs me regarding hypothyroidism (which I have myself) and steroid usage. Hypothyroidism can be medically managed. To experience any sizable increase in weight with steroids above and beyond third spacing water weight that can be managed with diuretics under the supervision of a physician you would have to be taking pretty high dosages for an extended period of time. Steroids make you insanely hungry and that is what accounts for a lot of the weight gain. The only medical conditions that have an indication for those kinds of doses are severe and/or terminal. Organ transplants, brain tumors, etc. The most common and perhaps least lethal indications would be advanced rheumatoid arthritis and severe asthma. If you can think of any others that are of a more benign nature it would be useful for us to consider.

Prader-Willi is a congenital chromosomal defect with a 1:15,000 occurrence rate. It is also accompanied by facial defects, behavioral problems and severe depression. One important thing to note with this disease is that the life expectancy falls into the normal range only when the weight problem is controlled - and it is very difficult to control.

With Cushing's disease you do not have just an obesity problem you have an entire syndrome of physical abnormalities that create an appearance that is a very difficult cross to bear. This disease is also accompanied by severe psychological disturbances. Endogenous forms of the disease are extremely rare and the number one exogenous cause is prolonged use of steriods, so we're back to that.

Polycystic Ovarian Disease involves too much debate to get any kind of accurate prevalence on. It is generally agreed that 3-7% of women worldwide have polycystic ovaries but not all are symptomatic. It is important to note on this one also that weight loss is highly prescriptive for those with this disease as a weight decrease of only 5% of total body weight is associated with a radical decrease in the majority of the symptoms.

Since the hypothalamus cannot sustain much damage without extinguishing life, I suppose you might be referencing the recent findings where some folks have been found to have a mutation in a gene that produces leptin, which is a hormone that is normally released by fat cells and sensed by the hypothalamus when we are full to signal us to stop eating. That might present a challenge to someone on a diet but it neither forces one to keep eating, nor does it affect one's ability to lose weight in any way.

My point on this is that it is not really appropriate to bring these diseases into a debate on dating preferences, especially in regards to obesity. Those who are diagnosed with these conditions, the Lord bless them, have much bigger fish to fry.
Last edited by last12C; August 1,2009 at 6:15pm.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #148  August 1,2009, 5:51pm
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[quote=cp30;693702]

A lot of thin people smoke, use drugs, and many attain a level of "fitness" on very questionable and unhealthy terms (and as mentioned, I don't know that running 56 miles and being ultra fit is all that healthy either). I have a friend who is very slim....anorexic, drug user, smoker, always drunk, never eats, and has mental problems. But she is a lot of fun to hang out with (once in a while, not daily) and she is very pretty. Healthy? um, no I don't think so. Maybe for now, but I don't think its a very healthy lifestyle.
quote]
Wow I am amazed by this post. You want no hate the overweight people but you are free to hate on the thin people. I have run 56 mile a week and will again soon as I am training for a marathon..not sure why it is unhealthy as long as I eat enough, sleep enough, work up to the mileage and balance my life.

I also have been too thin in my life. I have never smoked, done drugs been alcoholic or had an eating disorder. I was too skinny in high school when I had super metabolism and I ate an amazing amount of food. I also was too skinny when I had a parasite which went undiagnosed for over a year and wreaked havok on my gi system. I had women ask me if I was anorexic all the time. I knew I was too skinny but could not fix it (eventually found a dr who found it).

I am thin-at a healthy range but I do find some heavier women seem to hate me because I am skinny. I run and eat healthy. I avoid bad fats as high cholesterol runs in my family but I will indulge in mexican food or other things I love in moderation.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #149  August 1,2009, 7:08pm
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last12C wrote :
** snipped for space**

My point on this is that it is not really appropriate to bring these diseases into a debate on dating preferences, especially in regards to obesity. Those who are diagnosed with these conditions, the Lord bless them, have much bigger fish to fry.
The point I am making is that we do have overweight or obese people who are so due to a recognised medical condition. Yet when Person A advises this, I am hearing/seeing Persons B, C, D, etc, at times responding by rejecting the medical reasons and stating his/her opinion as if it were fact that Person A must be overweight/obese due to poor lifechoices. I take Waltercl's comment that EHA is anonymous, so we really don't know the history of Person A. That doesn't give Persons B, C, D etc the right slate Person A.

I understand your comment re appropriateness. My own perspective is that it is appropriate that we understand there are medical conditions causing people to become overweight or obese; and that therefore when we are expressing our preferences we do so in a way which is not designed to put another person down when we disagree with them.

I believe that when we are having discussions our preferences very much come into play with our responses. Unfortunately, sometimes our preferences come across as prejudicial and I think that is when people become angered or hurt.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #150  August 1,2009, 7:41pm

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Faira wrote :
Although I didn't see these inferences in cp30's posts, you do make a valid point, Walter. I have a friend who is naturally extremely thin - to the point where people who don't know her (and haven't been around her enough to see how much she loves food, lol) automatically assume that she's ill or has an eating disorder. It's very frustrating for her to have to constantly say, "No, I'm fine, I'm really just naturally very thin," and still not have people believe her.

Assumptions are frustrating - whether, in my friend's case, it's that she's got an eating disorder or is a drug addict or whether it's that an overweight person is lazy or undisciplined.

The overweight person could be in the gym every day trying to lose weight at a healthy 1-2 pounds a week while a person with bulimia is staying at average or slightly-above average weight by binging and purging...I'm not trying to make a values judgement with that statement, just saying that it's a fact that you're not going to necessarily know that a healthy-looking person hasn't got a whole lot of "unhealthy" going on.

If you (generic you) don't like one of your matches because of their looks, fine. Just don't be a jerk about it! Close politely, go on your way, and be prepared to be gracious when someone closes *you* because they don't like the way you look...
Thanks Faira, of course....wasn't suggesting at all that all very thin people have eating disorders or drug addictions. But agree, if we can accept that some people are naturally thin (and I do, and I know them) we should be able to accept that some other people are naturally going to retain a little more weight, muscle, density or whatever.

Though, that was pretty much secondary to my point, that we live in an image obsessed country right now and a little sensitivity would go a long way here when referring to our "preferences" whether its for thin women or thicker women....somewhere out there someone is reading what you (generic you wrote and feeling like they just don't measure up, even though they are perfectly healthy.
 
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