What's taking him so long?


View Poll Results: How long is too long to wait before you realize he's not interested?
1 week 5 31.25%
2 weeks 7 43.75%
3 weeks 2 12.50%
1 month or more 2 12.50%
Voters: 16. You may not vote on this poll

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MissP is offline MissP Post #1  July 28,2009, 8:31pm
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I joined EHarmony because I was serious about opening my options to something new. Since I began, I have had many "matches" sent my way, but after weeding through them, I narrowed my search down to 2. These 2 guys fit my standards perfectly. They both initiated comunication with me and I was so excited about the possibilities. Sad to say, there was a delay on my part getting back with them. Life-Hey what can I say. Finally, when I was able to return communication, I am hearing "crickets" from (1) of them. Nothing in 2 weeks. This is the main (1) I felt had potential. What's taking him so long?

I am trying to be an adult about it and resolve that maybe life just caught up with him like it did me a few weeks back. But I can't help but feel ignored. If this is the case, aren't we grown enough to close the match and not keep people in limbo? My gutt is telling me to hang in there, it's not what you think. But how long is too long to wait for an answer.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  July 28,2009, 8:39pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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So 'life' kept you from responding to them initially....and now you're ticked off that their response to you is delayed? (winking).

There could be any number of reasons why they aren't responding. Actually, 'non-response' is probably more the rule than 'response' on dating sites....so you have plenty more of this to look forward to.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #3  July 28,2009, 8:44pm
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Not to be "Debbie Downer," but I think the window is closed if its been two weeks with no return correspondence.

People will always make the time to do something if it's deemed a priority. More, nearly everyone has web access on their phone and can steal a moment to login to eH to check their home page.

Good luck!
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #4  July 28,2009, 8:45pm
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1)Get used to strange things happening when trying to find an internet date, such as someone disappearing - what's called poofing.

2)Try not to get too enthusiastic about a match until you actually meet him.

3)I realize you yourself did not poof, but don't poof in the future.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #5  July 28,2009, 8:48pm
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pussinboots wrote :

2)Try not to get too enthusiastic about a match until you actually meet him.
I agree. Don't fall in love with the house before you've closed.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  July 28,2009, 9:02pm
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pussinboots wrote :
2)Try not to get too enthusiastic about a match until you actually meet him.
Agree 100%! Anyone can look good "on paper." You gotta meet to form an informed decision about anyone... and even after that anyone can be on their best behavior for weeks or months. It takes a while before you can feel sure you've seen someone's true colors. Don't ever fall in love with a profile!

That said... it costs you nothing to leave him "open." You, yourself, know that life gets in the way of getting back to someone right away, even when you're interested. Maybe give him a "nudge." Just don't go pinning all your hopes on getting a response from that one match.
Last edited by Wonderwoman402; July 28,2009 at 9:05pm.
 
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MissP is offline MissP Post #7  July 28,2009, 9:32pm
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All great responses...thanks for grounding me. i did try giving a nudge,but so far...nothing. i'll take it for what it is sworth...Thanks all...
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  July 28,2009, 9:34pm
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At least you are being honest with yourself about your contribution to his losing interest Time waits for no one. He probably had a bunch of matches who did respond to him promptly, because they were not too busy to take a moment to show interest. Keep him open. Maybe, if the matches who he contacted while you were too busy, don't work out,he'll get back to you.
MissP wrote :
I joined EHarmony because I was serious about opening my options to something new. Since I began, I have had many "matches" sent my way, but after weeding through them, I narrowed my search down to 2. These 2 guys fit my standards perfectly. They both initiated communication with me and I was so excited about the possibilities. Sad to say, there was a delay on my part getting back with them. Life-Hey what can I say. Finally, when I was able to return communication, I am hearing "crickets" from (1) of them. Nothing in 2 weeks. This is the main (1) I felt had potential. What's taking him so long?
I am trying to be an adult about it and resolve that maybe life just caught up with him like it did me a few weeks back. But I can't help but feel ignored. If this is the case, aren't we grown enough to close the match and not keep people in limbo? My gut is telling me to hang in there, it's not what you think. But how long is too long to wait for an answer.
 
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Ms666 is offline Ms666 Post #9  July 29,2009, 10:06am
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I think narrowing down the matches you are communicating with to only 2 is seriously hurting your chances of getting any reply at all. I am currently communicating with about 30 guys, 5 of whom I have been out on actual dates with. Most of them have been much more interesting than their profile actually made them seem, and if I had rejected them based on some paragraph written online I would have missed out. Hope your search gets better. I've been really having fun on eHarmony.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  July 29,2009, 10:59am
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MissP wrote :
I joined EHarmony because I was serious about opening my options to something new. Since I began, I have had many "matches" sent my way, but after weeding through them, I narrowed my search down to 2. These 2 guys fit my standards perfectly. They both initiated comunication with me and I was so excited about the possibilities. Sad to say, there was a delay on my part getting back with them. Life-Hey what can I say. Finally, when I was able to return communication, I am hearing "crickets" from (1) of them. Nothing in 2 weeks. This is the main (1) I felt had potential. What's taking him so long?

I am trying to be an adult about it and resolve that maybe life just caught up with him like it did me a few weeks back. But I can't help but feel ignored. If this is the case, aren't we grown enough to close the match and not keep people in limbo? My gutt is telling me to hang in there, it's not what you think. But how long is too long to wait for an answer.
So "life" got in your way of responding promptly to him yet you expect him to have just sat there waiting on your reply. Quite the double standard, I am thinking. So while your "life" was delaying your reply he was communicating with other matches that were able to place their priorities on finding their guy. He sees your tardiness in replying as an indication of your interest in him.

Are you getting any of this concept?
 
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