pamcam is offline pamcam Post #11  July 25,2009, 6:46am
pamcam's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

El Paso, Texas

Posts: 641

See profile

In my 20's and 30's I never had trouble meeting people. I was also attracted to older men. Now, in my 40's, I'm still attracted to older men, yet have become interested in men my own age. From what I've observed, men my own age who in the previous two decades focused on their career, now (some/a few) are marriage/family oriented...yet they want a woman who is in her thirties. Can't say I blame them who from a biological standpoint can give them children.

And then there are those who raised a family, divorced, and now don't want the responsibility of a real relationship and are unavailable, at least to me.

Many men in their thirties are still in that education/ building a career phase. And I'm really not interested in supporting that again. I'm interested in someone who has more time for a relationship and whose priorities have changed.

So, I think I understand what the OP is saying, as I feel "out of the loop."
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #12  July 25,2009, 7:01am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

Quendy wrote :
What I'm finding is this - the good men are the ones who get married and stay married. The others are divorced, sometimes several times, and out there looking for someone 15-20 years younger who can make them feel like young hotdogs again.

I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #13  July 25,2009, 7:40am
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

[quote=D_Lion;686017]I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
hogrally is offline hogrally Post #14  July 25,2009, 9:09am
hogrally's Avatar

when it rain its pours.... menzzzz

Virtuoso

Joined: Sep 2008

East of Haines Junction

Posts: 4,948

See profile

[quote=D_Lion;686017]I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #15  July 25,2009, 9:27am
chawks64's Avatar

is keeping warm with her Honey.

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Southern Nevada

Posts: 6,735

See profile

hogrally wrote :
Hey DLIon

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas

For years I have said " The white male is the most discriminated against person in North America" It not just in business but policing, and trades and technology now too. But on the bright side...it gives thes men more time to come to Alaska and pick their own raspberries!!! :-)
I absolutely agree that this "white men are evil" attitude does exist, so I'm definitely not arguing the point, but I've never "benefitted" from it. As a matter of fact, I've been told to my face at my current job "We don't like to work with women because you can't count on them in a crisis" (hilarious if you know my history) and "We don't hire women over 40 because you just can't teach them anything", the latter being said by a trainer who thought I was 35. I was 43.

Meanwhile, the guys I work 'one on one' with know I don't expect or desire any special treatment, so they can't understand my seeming inability to move up, despite high scores on company tests and working at least as hard as they do.

But after 10 attempts at upward movement, watching guys get promoted over me while I clean up the mess they left behind ("Because you always know how to fix it"), I remain in the same entry level job I started with, reading technical manuals on my own time and trying to grab up little bits of knowledge from the guys who see the environment for what it is and are sympathetic.

Some women are successful because they worked their butts off.
Some women are successful because mommy and daddy paid for it.
Some women are successful because of a federal mandate.
And some women are just hoping to catch a fair break.
 
  Reply With Quote
Edmondo is offline Edmondo Post #16  July 25,2009, 11:56am
Edmondo's Avatar

is styling

Quick Study

Joined: Nov 2008

Boston

Posts: 135

See profile

Here is from the other side.

It seems that every woman I met on the outside is either married or in a relationship. I have met plenty of women that want a little on the side to spice up their lives.

I have gone out with women who have children and of course the children come first. Due to illnesses and emergencies one woman I couldn’t see her for a month. If the kids were in a bad mood I couldn’t come over. I am almost tempted to post on my profile if you have teenagers pass on mine.

From some of the other dating sites I have seen women my age want a serious relationship with a younger man. One woman wanted a man 20 years younger.

I am not interested in a younger woman and I have no desire to have kids. I think that men with much younger wives look ridiculous. I am sure that the younger men will leave that older woman.

I am not looking for a booty call and tired of people who want a fling. I am looking for a serious relationship and I can’t find it anywhere. I want someone to hang out with on Sunday morning and have brunch. Someone to take trips with. Someone to go to the theater and dinner afterwards.

The grass is not greener on the other side.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #17  July 25,2009, 3:31pm
Mainah64's Avatar

is taking his mini van to the dragstrip in the spring - aiming for mid 15's

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

South western Maine

Posts: 717

See profile

[quote=IcecreamMoon;686030]Did I detect a hint of a typo in there?

First I've seen too. He must be approaching middle age.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #18  July 25,2009, 3:33pm
Mainah64's Avatar

is taking his mini van to the dragstrip in the spring - aiming for mid 15's

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

South western Maine

Posts: 717

See profile

Define 'middle aged'?

Again from the other side.....

As a 44 yo father of 4 from 10-18, I find that many women my age are party girls looking for a younger guy for 'fun' or to entertain them, are train wrecks with a misandrist chip on their shoulder, or have kids and find that my involvement in my kids' lives is too much baggage even though it shows (to me anyways) that I am stable, dependable, and want something serious and long term. There are alot of players and narcists of both genders out there.

I find that the middle aged, relatively in shape, normal woman is rather rare. Facetiously, do you fit into one of the groups I listed? Its hard to find a person that totally fits well with our full and complex lives at this stage of the game. Are you open to compromise and adjusting to fit with a potential match?

As Pamcam stated, I found it much easier to date in my late 30's than now. Maybe I tired of the game, maybe I'm more selective and require someone that is already complete and equal, maybe I'm too old and ragged. I'm moderately succesful, relatively in shape, intelligent, wide range of interests, and have depth.

Not much help but I do identify with you, mylifesabeach.
 
  Reply With Quote
SMRTRTHNU is offline SMRTRTHNU Post #19  July 25,2009, 7:37pm
SMRTRTHNU's Avatar

should be writing a ten page sociology paper....ugh

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2008

in a bowl of cereal

Posts: 117

See profile

jayjay wrote :
I'm afraid my advice isn't much help.....it's for a woman to make sure she chooses well when she's young and marries...and don't end up middle aged and divorced. From all I hear it really seems to be tough for a middle aged woman to find a decent man.
So, I can assume either it's okay for a MAN to be middle aged and divorced, which means it's okay for him to not have "chosen wisely".....OR......you are a 43 year old man who has never been married. Hmmmm.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #20  July 25,2009, 7:42pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

Mainah64 wrote :
First I've seen too. He must be approaching middle age.

Does this mean I can look for a woman 15-20 years younger so I can be a "hotdog?"
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Sometimes Eharmony sounds like a job interview..so I took a bold move and asked this? | Dating | How to initiate a safe-sex conversation..? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:51pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0