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pamcam pamcam is offline
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In my 20's and 30's I never had trouble meeting people. I was also attracted to older men. Now, in my 40's, I'm still attracted to older men, yet have become interested in men my own age. From what I've observed, men my own age who in the previous two decades focused on their career, now (some/a few) are marriage/family oriented...yet they want a woman who is in her thirties. Can't say I blame them who from a biological standpoint can give them children.

And then there are those who raised a family, divorced, and now don't want the responsibility of a real relationship and are unavailable, at least to me.

Many men in their thirties are still in that education/ building a career phase. And I'm really not interested in supporting that again. I'm interested in someone who has more time for a relationship and whose priorities have changed.

So, I think I understand what the OP is saying, as I feel "out of the loop."
- July 25th, 2009, 07:46 am
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Quendy wrote :
What I'm finding is this - the good men are the ones who get married and stay married. The others are divorced, sometimes several times, and out there looking for someone 15-20 years younger who can make them feel like young hotdogs again.

I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas in all the big corporations, to bring near-equal female managerial representation.

I don’t know anyone who is abu.sive (though I concede this is undoubtedly hidden in some instances), while I do know men who have been left by his partner – who immediately became involved with a decade-older man in a significantly higher-paying occupation. This immediate involvement implies she knew the older man during the course of the terminated marriage.

Attraction is a two-way street.

In any case, if you accept that there are roughly equal proportions of good men and good women, then if there are available good women there must as well be available good men.
- July 25th, 2009, 08:01 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas in all the big corporations, to bring near-equal female managerial representation.

I don’t know anyone who is abu.sive (though I concede this is undoubtedly hidden in some instances), while I do know men who have been left by his partner – who immediately became involved with a decade-older man in a significantly higher-paying occupation. This immediate involvement implies she knew the older man during the course of the terminated marriage.

Attraction is a two-way street.

In any case, if you accept that there are roughly equal proportions of good men and good women, then if there are available good women there must as well be available good men.
Did I detect a hint of a typo in there?

In any case, you know I'm forever yours Froggie, regardless of proportions in excel, of course .
- July 25th, 2009, 08:40 am
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hogrally hogrally is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I can’t speak to your experience, but that is hardly the reality for many men in my age group (I am 36.)

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas in all the big corporations, to bring near-equal female managerial representation.

I don’t know anyone who is abu.sive (though I concede this is undoubtedly hidden in some instances), while I do know men who have been left by his partner – who immediately became involved with a decade-older man in a significantly higher-paying occupation. This immediate involvement implies she knew the older man during the course of the terminated marriage.

Attraction is a two-way street.

In any case, if you accept that there are roughly equal proportions of good men and good women, then if there are available good women there must as well be available good men.
Hey DLIon

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas

For years I have said " The white male is the most discriminated against person in North America" It not just in business but policing, and trades and technology now too. But on the bright side...it gives thes men more time to come to Alaska and pick their own raspberries!!! :-)
- July 25th, 2009, 10:09 am
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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hogrally wrote :
Hey DLIon

My life is one of the inability to establish an appropriate professional career, and thus being rejected, ever and over, by women making far more money, because they are benefiting from minority hiring quotas

For years I have said " The white male is the most discriminated against person in North America" It not just in business but policing, and trades and technology now too. But on the bright side...it gives thes men more time to come to Alaska and pick their own raspberries!!! :-)
I absolutely agree that this "white men are evil" attitude does exist, so I'm definitely not arguing the point, but I've never "benefitted" from it. As a matter of fact, I've been told to my face at my current job "We don't like to work with women because you can't count on them in a crisis" (hilarious if you know my history) and "We don't hire women over 40 because you just can't teach them anything", the latter being said by a trainer who thought I was 35. I was 43.

Meanwhile, the guys I work 'one on one' with know I don't expect or desire any special treatment, so they can't understand my seeming inability to move up, despite high scores on company tests and working at least as hard as they do.

But after 10 attempts at upward movement, watching guys get promoted over me while I clean up the mess they left behind ("Because you always know how to fix it"), I remain in the same entry level job I started with, reading technical manuals on my own time and trying to grab up little bits of knowledge from the guys who see the environment for what it is and are sympathetic.

Some women are successful because they worked their butts off.
Some women are successful because mommy and daddy paid for it.
Some women are successful because of a federal mandate.
And some women are just hoping to catch a fair break.
- July 25th, 2009, 10:27 am
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Edmondo Edmondo is offline
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Here is from the other side.

It seems that every woman I met on the outside is either married or in a relationship. I have met plenty of women that want a little on the side to spice up their lives.

I have gone out with women who have children and of course the children come first. Due to illnesses and emergencies one woman I couldn’t see her for a month. If the kids were in a bad mood I couldn’t come over. I am almost tempted to post on my profile if you have teenagers pass on mine.

From some of the other dating sites I have seen women my age want a serious relationship with a younger man. One woman wanted a man 20 years younger.

I am not interested in a younger woman and I have no desire to have kids. I think that men with much younger wives look ridiculous. I am sure that the younger men will leave that older woman.

I am not looking for a booty call and tired of people who want a fling. I am looking for a serious relationship and I can’t find it anywhere. I want someone to hang out with on Sunday morning and have brunch. Someone to take trips with. Someone to go to the theater and dinner afterwards.

The grass is not greener on the other side.
- July 25th, 2009, 12:56 pm
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Mainah64 Mainah64 is offline
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[quote=IcecreamMoon;686030]Did I detect a hint of a typo in there?

First I've seen too. He must be approaching middle age.
- July 25th, 2009, 04:31 pm
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Mainah64 Mainah64 is offline
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Define 'middle aged'?

Again from the other side.....

As a 44 yo father of 4 from 10-18, I find that many women my age are party girls looking for a younger guy for 'fun' or to entertain them, are train wrecks with a misandrist chip on their shoulder, or have kids and find that my involvement in my kids' lives is too much baggage even though it shows (to me anyways) that I am stable, dependable, and want something serious and long term. There are alot of players and narcists of both genders out there.

I find that the middle aged, relatively in shape, normal woman is rather rare. Facetiously, do you fit into one of the groups I listed? Its hard to find a person that totally fits well with our full and complex lives at this stage of the game. Are you open to compromise and adjusting to fit with a potential match?

As Pamcam stated, I found it much easier to date in my late 30's than now. Maybe I tired of the game, maybe I'm more selective and require someone that is already complete and equal, maybe I'm too old and ragged. I'm moderately succesful, relatively in shape, intelligent, wide range of interests, and have depth.

Not much help but I do identify with you, mylifesabeach.
- July 25th, 2009, 04:33 pm
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SMRTRTHNU SMRTRTHNU is offline
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jayjay wrote :
I'm afraid my advice isn't much help.....it's for a woman to make sure she chooses well when she's young and marries...and don't end up middle aged and divorced. From all I hear it really seems to be tough for a middle aged woman to find a decent man.
So, I can assume either it's okay for a MAN to be middle aged and divorced, which means it's okay for him to not have "chosen wisely".....OR......you are a 43 year old man who has never been married. Hmmmm.
- July 25th, 2009, 08:37 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Mainah64 wrote :
First I've seen too. He must be approaching middle age.

Does this mean I can look for a woman 15-20 years younger so I can be a "hotdog?"
- July 25th, 2009, 08:42 pm
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