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legend29 legend29 is offline
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legend29 is looking for a loophole....

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bigfincat wrote :
I can respect whatever way a person wishes to deal with that situation.

Personally, I would find it easy to be friends with someone that I had met on a dating site especially if we had just gone out a few times. I also like the prospect of getting to know her friends as well.

I don't have ANY feelings about that person yet anyway.

It probably depends on expectations that the person comes in with from the beginning.

I like hanging out with people that bring something different than what my existing friends bring. They are great but I think that my group can always use a different energy from time to time. I am not a fan of hanging out with the same few people in the same few places so even adding one different person sometimes can change it up.
My thoughts exactly....

I think that some folks may go into each date with high expectations and when things do not go as they plan, they get angry and find the "let's be friends" line difficult to bear. That is understandable.

But, sometimes you meet people that aren't a good fit for a relationship (distance, where you are emotionally in your life, chemistry, etc), but you have such a great time with each other you stay friends, by mutual agreement. No FWB...just friends.

Like they say "A girl can never have too many friends"....the more the merrier!
Last edited by legend29; July 23rd, 2009 at 04:57 am.
- July 23rd, 2009, 04:53 am
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lololo lololo is offline
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She might not be saying it to be hurtful, just honest. She might guard her free time carefully. I try to save time for the wonderful friends I already have. Another friendly acquaintance, ok. But for me, starting a true friendship takes time, attention and real interest.
- July 23rd, 2009, 11:50 am
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timeless2 timeless2 is offline
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too many friends is like too much money
- July 23rd, 2009, 12:05 pm
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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is online now
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FaintestInkling wrote :
It doesn't matter whether most relationships start off as friendships or not. What you've told her is that this friendship is not going to be a relationship.

It might be easy for you to be friends with someone who you don't want a relationship with, but it is usually very hard for the person who does want a relationship.

In fact, for some people, being told "let's just be friends" hints that maybe you'll still be more than friends in time, and gives the person who wants a relationship false hope. If she knows she is that kind of person, it's better for her to not keep associating with you.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with you using the "Let's just be friends line" (if you mean it) but there is also nothing wrong with her using the "I don't need anymore friends" response.
+1....you need to take this comment into consideration. Not everyone can handle a friendship after wanting to have a relationship with someone.
- July 23rd, 2009, 12:06 pm
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Raw_Truth Raw_Truth is offline
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Wow, can I get her number?

She's right; and she may be one of the few women that realizes that there is no such thing as true friends between men and women.

I've told gals this many times, and I wasn't mean about, just honest; in my experience 75% of gals get it - guys don't go on dates to meet "friends."
- July 23rd, 2009, 12:11 pm
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IMHO-
There are rare breeds of people that can be 'jus friends' with the opposite sex.
However I've found that either:

1) The one thats requesting 'friendship' is really not interested in becoming involved with that particular person but still wants them in their life to fill a void (an the other 'friend-ee' thinks that if they sit by an bide their time that the person will eventually come around)

OR

2) They say that they are both 'jus friends' an in reality they both was hunchin one another in the spare time away from SO so that eventually they end up upsetting 4 lifes an creating hard feelings an drama all around.

There are plenty of variations on these, but it usually ends up the same way. Losing contact, hurt feelings and needless drama that could have been avoided.

Myself, I go on dates to meet new people in the hopes of finding someone I click with in order to possibly someday maybe get around to settlin down an havin a few kiddie poohs of my own. lol but thats jus me.

Now if it dont work out I'ma move on, not harp on oh but what if.
Thats jus not my style. Life's too short to wonder why so an so did or said this.
Last edited by pds857; July 23rd, 2009 at 01:48 pm. Reason: I forgot one word an it didnt make sense anymore :(
- July 23rd, 2009, 12:38 pm
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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It's just another line.

When she said that she does not need anymore friends, she did not mean that literarily - she meant that she does not need/want YOU as a friend. Why?

1) She is attracted to you and since you are not, she is not into self torture and keeping festering wounds alive, or

2) She did not think much of you and does not want you in her life in any capacity.

In short, this lady does not clutter her life with ex's as questionable friends just so that she does not hurt their feelings - good for her.
- July 23rd, 2009, 12:44 pm
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PoliticalChick01 PoliticalChick01 is offline
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I agree with DancingFool that the "I don't need any more friends" is just another line.

Like my grandmother always said "Why waste your time on someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you.".

She got your brushoff message loud and clear and is moving on to someone who wants to waste their time on her.

I would do the exact same thing as I'm not friends with any of my ex's or the guys that I dated briefly.

DancingFool wrote :
It's just another line.

When she said that she does not need anymore friends, she did not mean that literarily - she meant that she does not need/want YOU as a friend. Why?

1) She is attracted to you and since you are not, she is not into self torture and keeping festering wounds alive, or

2) She did not think much of you and does not want you in her life in any capacity.

In short, this lady does not clutter her life with ex's as questionable friends just so that she does not hurt their feelings - good for her.
- July 23rd, 2009, 01:03 pm
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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timeless2 wrote :
too many friends is like too much money
I suppose so....if you pay people to be your friends. Otherwise, they're very different things.
- July 23rd, 2009, 04:13 pm
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bigfincat bigfincat is offline
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I know that some people that I had been on dates with would be people that I'd want as friends.

By friends I mean maybe having dinner & drinks in a large group or meeting out on the town once in a while. Or if I am having a house party I would like to have them present as they would be a good time for all.

I would likely not be up for a high maintenance friend. I can usually tell whether or not a person would be demanding of time or not so I would only offer that to people that would fit my lifestyle.
- July 23rd, 2009, 04:14 pm
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