Six Months and No Dates


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PhishyKelly is offline PhishyKelly Post #1  July 22,2009, 10:48am
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OK, this is now my second go round with eharmony. I did it a few years back, but I was not happy with myself, so I never really got too far into it. I went out on a few dates but didn't find much.

So I decided to join again. I have been on here for six months and have not had one date. To say I am frustrated is an understatement.

I have my life together, I own my own business, I own a house, I have an education. I love doing a lot of different things and have been told I am a lot of fun to hang out with. I think I would be awesome to date, honestly if I could find a male version of me, that would be perfect.

I understand I am not a super model and I am fine with that. I exercise regularly and am loosing weight, but I guess that is not enough. I have pictures posted to my account, so I am not playing that game. They are available from day one.

I communicate with almost every one of the new matches I receive and 9 times out of 10 I get no response, so after 6 weeks or so I end up closing the match. I would like to stay within about 45 minutes to an hour distance. I have increased my age range and still nothing.

So what am I doing wrong? I can't figure it out. Any help or words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  July 22,2009, 10:58am
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Sorry to hear you haven't had much success. I average about one date per year from EH.

Standard suggestions:

1. Did you really honestly take your personality profile? (It's really easy to answer questions the way you think you are supposed to answer them.) How long ago did you take it? Have you changed?

2. Open up your distance. Even if for whatever reason you don't really want to relocate, a guy you meet might.

3. Reexamine your "Black&White" questions. Can you add some acceptable answers? Can you make certain ones less important?

(You say that you've already upped your age range which is the other way to get more matches and more response.)
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  July 22,2009, 3:34pm
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I’d call your results worse than “normal,” but not by as much as you might think. I had a lot of non-responding matches, too, as have all of us. Very many of your matches are not paying customers – of course, you want still to attract some of them enough to join.
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inn is offline inn Post #4  July 22,2009, 3:37pm
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I've been with eHa for 5 months now with no dates. I never mentioned that I travel for a living either.
go figure!
 
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JenRTR5 is offline JenRTR5 Post #5  July 22,2009, 3:39pm
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You make a good point about trying to communicate with matches that are not subscribed. Is there anyway to tell?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  July 22,2009, 3:51pm
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I don’t think so, but I also don’t think it matters why someone didn’t reply.
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #7  July 22,2009, 3:54pm
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If it makes you feel any better, I was on EH for a year and didn't have one date. I actually haven't had a date in two years and I got over it bothering me. I am happy to be me. When you like yourself first it will be easier for someone to be attracted to you, no matter your education, what you own or who you are. I also think that EH and other sites are merely a way of window shopping for the right connection. I don't really like to window shop so I quit. I find more practical advice on here to use and think what I learn from here I can take with me in the real world. Good luck!
 
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NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline NiceGuysFinishFirst Post #8  July 22,2009, 4:01pm

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PhishyKelly wrote :
OK, this is now my second go round with eharmony. I did it a few years back, but I was not happy with myself, so I never really got too far into it. I went out on a few dates but didn't find much.

So I decided to join again. I have been on here for six months and have not had one date. To say I am frustrated is an understatement.

I have my life together, I own my own business, I own a house, I have an education. I love doing a lot of different things and have been told I am a lot of fun to hang out with. I think I would be awesome to date, honestly if I could find a male version of me, that would be perfect.

I understand I am not a super model and I am fine with that. I exercise regularly and am loosing weight, but I guess that is not enough. I have pictures posted to my account, so I am not playing that game. They are available from day one.

I communicate with almost every one of the new matches I receive and 9 times out of 10 I get no response, so after 6 weeks or so I end up closing the match. I would like to stay within about 45 minutes to an hour distance. I have increased my age range and still nothing.

So what am I doing wrong? I can't figure it out. Any help or words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
I know how you feel. I was on another dating website and when I first joined I got flooded with matches. But the two women I had communicated with seemed to get cold feet when it came to the actual date. And they would send me matches that supposedly were a 98% match yet they would take one look at my profile and go "Hmm...uh-uh."

Now, I know I'm not no hunk, but I consider myself a good guy and thought they could at least have tried to get to know me first. But 6 months went by and nothing happened so I quit. I have since noticed that this website has a sister website which has on their front page "for people looking for serious relationships." That's one thing I like about eHarmony and why I chose to come back. I have had dates in the past and the majority of women I have communicated with seem more interested in a serious, long-term relationship than just "hooking up" or a date to get out of the house.
 
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dimitria is offline dimitria Post #9  July 24,2009, 3:11pm
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[quote=D_Lion;683185]I’d call your results worse than “normal,” but not by as much as you might think. I had a lot of non-responding matches, too, as have all of us. Very many of your matches are not paying customers – of course, you want still to attract some of them enough to join.



How do non-paying customers even get to be considered a "match" in the first place, I wonder... This definitely makes me think twice about using eHa and what I am getting for my money!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  July 24,2009, 3:23pm
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Not all of your matches will be customers, or even active profiles, but this is no different than other dating sites.
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