Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
 
LinkBack (1) Thread Tools
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,080

See profile

I don't think that you blew it unless you sent the flowers to the restaurant and then everyone read the card and had a laugh at your expense. No harm done, just find a new place for lunch. On 2nd. thought keep going back for lunch and ask her if she liked the flowers? Wait on her response (?)
it was still nice to send her flowers! If you get a positive response, ask her if she would enjoy going for some drinks and music on an off night?

It will be a yes or a no and then you can find a new place for lunch.

Experience has taught me with working people that are a service providers that
"a BIG TIP" will endear you more so because they are working strictly for the money, which is tips. A Twenty Dollar Bill or two Twenty Dollar Bills or a Fifty or a $100 dollar bill would have really put you way up there for her, because she could have used it on her vacation!

But it is easy for me to be a Monday Morning Quarterback, you did not wrong so find a babe for yourself and be less dramatic, you just want a yes or no.

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; July 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am.
- July 22nd, 2009, 11:27 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
Wootz Wootz is offline
Wootz's Avatar

Wootz has got another repair project going... Might be slow posting for a bit.

Enthusiast

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 718

See profile

Having been one of the cooks in the back with lots of big knives at my disposal, and having been a customer to some incredibly hawt waitresses, I still think open and honest is the way to go- but there are some things to keep in mind.


Just like most women know to flirt with the bartender, most waitresses know to be smiling, upbeat, and nice just short of flirting if they want a good tip from a guy. It's part of the job- doing this will *directly* affect your tips, which are usually 80% or more of your income. Keeping in mind that the ladies (or men) in question are being nice and friendly as a part of their job first and foremost, I am wary of asking a waitress out. I'll usually be upfront about it though (I have in the past anyway), and at least tell her how much I enjoy her company, and ask if she would like to get together sometime when she's not working. If she's being professionally nice, there will be excuses- take them gallantly and bother her about it no more! Enjoy the company and be gracious, she might already have a boyfriend- or husband- but not want that to interfere with her tips. This is not deceitful, it is logical.

Bottom line, I'd say, is be honest. I like the fact that the OP was upfront about it. The ball is in her court now. The fact that there may be a history of other men doing such things and becoming stalker-ish is a strike against you, but those people aren't you. Treat her the way you'd like to be treated- honestly, and with respect. Isn't that what we all want?
- July 22nd, 2009, 01:58 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
pds857 pds857 is offline
pds857's Avatar

pds857 Great weekend fulla snuggles tickles kissses an hugs :D

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 590

See profile

Well I aint ever asked out a waitress, but I have seen my brothers do this many times lol
Myself I think its funny to watch my brothers get pink in the cheeks over some 'hawt chick' waiting on them.
When we are all together an my oldest bro(A) thinks a waitress is hot, my youngest brother(B) will point out to the waitress that (A)'s interested, then (A) blushes more an (B) will proceed to ask if she thinks (A) is cute or does she already have a boyfriend.

(A) then steps up to the plate (no pun intended) an talks to her so that saves the rest of us from hearing about "Man that waitress was 'hawt', or she had legs all the way up to her ears, or I think she liked me", type of bull snozz.

It makes for an entertaining evening as well because we all come off good natured an teasing instead of creepy or stalker-ish.

Now a one on one type of thing I'm not sure how it would be taken.
Hmmmm

Anyway, wait till she's been back from vacation for a week or 2 to 'pop' in an have lunch or what have ya, dont mention the flowers, let her.

Ok I'm done thinkin in text.
- July 22nd, 2009, 02:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
sheera007 sheera007 is offline
sheera007's Avatar

sheera007 is rockin' the fitness progam

Enthusiast

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 758

See profile

IcecreamMoon wrote :
Are your turning into a Mr_Wrong here?
Flowers are creepy?

I could think of a few much creepier things that we, Ladies, sometimes choose to overlook for certain Mr_Rights...
Exactly! I don't think the flowers were creepy... at all.

It was a sweet gesture. It would only creep me out if the flowers continued to show up on a regular basis (especially if I hadn't even acknowledged the first ones) and/or if they were accompanied by a creepy note.
- July 22nd, 2009, 03:19 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
NiceGuysFinishFirst NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline
NiceGuysFinishFirst's Avatar

NiceGuysFinishFirst Watch like no one is dancing!

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 114

See profile

I got it. I made a mistake. But at least I gave it a shot and that's how you learn, right?
- July 22nd, 2009, 03:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
Mr_Right's Avatar

Mr_Right has a celebrity lookalike

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,030

See profile

NiceGuysFinishFirst wrote :
I got it. I made a mistake. But at least I gave it a shot and that's how you learn, right?
That's very true! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (that movie comes out next month).

Now go out there and ask out 10 hot girls, and let us know the results.

And props to you for giving it a shot after all. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.
- July 22nd, 2009, 03:55 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
NiceGuysFinishFirst NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline
NiceGuysFinishFirst's Avatar

NiceGuysFinishFirst Watch like no one is dancing!

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 114

See profile

sheera007 wrote :
Exactly! I don't think the flowers were creepy... at all.

It was a sweet gesture. It would only creep me out if the flowers continued to show up on a regular basis (especially if I hadn't even acknowledged the first ones) and/or if they were accompanied by a creepy note.
Thanks. I appreciate your words, but I can see what some of the others said about getting to know someone a bit first. It's cool. I'm sure there are some women in this world who would love for a guy to get her flowers...I just moved in too soon and now I know it was a mistake. And I won't continue to send her flowers either.
- July 22nd, 2009, 03:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
NiceGuysFinishFirst NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline
NiceGuysFinishFirst's Avatar

NiceGuysFinishFirst Watch like no one is dancing!

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 114

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :
That's very true! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (that movie comes out next month).

Now go out there and ask out 10 hot girls, and let us know the results.

And props to you for giving it a shot after all. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.
I'm working on it. As a matter of fact I'm going to be talking to someone else on the phone tonight. And BTW congratulations to you on finding love. You seem like a really good guy and I wish you all the best.
- July 22nd, 2009, 03:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
Raw_Truth Raw_Truth is offline
Raw_Truth's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 231

See profile

First, you took a risk which is always good. It will embolden you for the next time.

Second, don't listen to all these naysayers. Anyplace is fair game if you play it right and the circumstances are right. Remember, the old adage holds true in dating more than most any other facet of life - you lose out on 100% of the chances you don't take.

Third, the time to act was while she was coming to your table; just a quick "can I get your number" kind of a deal.

Forth, complimenting the boss was too much, and the flowers/note were way WAY too much. We've all second guessed the times we've chickened out, but you should have had more patience, and gone to the restaurant after she returned, and asked her then, face-to-face.

Fifth, it's a 0.01% chance she'll call. If she doesn't, forget it. At this point if you keep pursuing you would kinda look stalkerish. I'd recommend waiting some time before returning to the restaurant, if not avoiding the place all together.

Sixth, view it as a learning experience. Next time act on the spur of the moment, don't chicken out.
- July 22nd, 2009, 04:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
rix rix is offline
rix's Avatar

rix has been rather "captivated" lately. *smile*

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 985

See profile

There appears to be a mixed consensus on the flowers bit; and basically, we can only speak from past experience and personal preference.

However, if you were expecting "immediate" results, the flowery touch was a bit overwhelming. But, with time, it may work to your advantage. She's probably a bit freaked out right now, but if you make a strategic withdrawal, it may work out in the end. Just hang out on the periphery of her existence, and don't press the issue. And with time, she will begin to think it was a sweet gesture, and may be more responsive in the future. But anyways, don't expect overnight success. Be prepared to settle in for a long siege. Persistence is key. And, you will eventually either wind up with a date, or a restraining order.
Last edited by rix; July 22nd, 2009 at 04:22 pm.
- July 22nd, 2009, 04:20 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« He calls but doesn't ask me out!! | Array | have you met a match who turned out to be obese? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/27405-asking-out-waitress.html
Posted By For Type Date
Dating advice message board This thread Refback August 22nd, 2009 12:35 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Don't over analyze it man...she gave you a call after a week...and told you that she heard that you left the group, either somebody told her or she asked what's going on. Really man, who cares ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Met this girl at an activity group and confused once again.” discussion

“ EH reps say: after a week give a nudge, then close in another week if no reply. That's not what it says on the site, which is that people have varying schedules and you should be patient.” – mrflyer

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“..and this is only one reason of many why I love this site. The classic dating problem of competition is deliciously turned on its head. I have no problems getting contacts that communicate, even ... ” – Rustman

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“MicMan, I think MrFlyer is missing the point altogether that what was done to you was needlessly cruel and thoughtless, not to mention crass, classless, tactless and trashy. No, you are missing the ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Stay Classy Matches” discussion

“ So you don't care at all what your dates look like? I would believe you, but only if you were blind.” – mrflyer

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“ Your racial concerns are your issues. They have nothing to do with her or her past. Our histories and our cultural indoctrination are difficult things to overcome, but the only solution is to either ... ” – OldManNoah

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion

“ It means that the strip club is the wrong place to take her for your first date. I would interpret it as "no sex before marriage" (or perhaps being engaged).” – mrflyer

Join the “"I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs."” discussion

“Moral of this sad tale: When it comes to FB and the person you're dating, neither a friender nor friendee be! I just made the idiotic mistake of accepting a friend request from a woman I've just ... ” – rocchio

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:26 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0