Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #21  July 22,2009, 10:27am

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I don't think that you blew it unless you sent the flowers to the restaurant and then everyone read the card and had a laugh at your expense. No harm done, just find a new place for lunch. On 2nd. thought keep going back for lunch and ask her if she liked the flowers? Wait on her response (?)
it was still nice to send her flowers! If you get a positive response, ask her if she would enjoy going for some drinks and music on an off night?

It will be a yes or a no and then you can find a new place for lunch.

Experience has taught me with working people that are a service providers that
"a BIG TIP" will endear you more so because they are working strictly for the money, which is tips. A Twenty Dollar Bill or two Twenty Dollar Bills or a Fifty or a $100 dollar bill would have really put you way up there for her, because she could have used it on her vacation!

But it is easy for me to be a Monday Morning Quarterback, you did not wrong so find a babe for yourself and be less dramatic, you just want a yes or no.

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; July 22,2009 at 10:33am.
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #22  July 22,2009, 12:58pm
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Having been one of the cooks in the back with lots of big knives at my disposal, and having been a customer to some incredibly hawt waitresses, I still think open and honest is the way to go- but there are some things to keep in mind.


Just like most women know to flirt with the bartender, most waitresses know to be smiling, upbeat, and nice just short of flirting if they want a good tip from a guy. It's part of the job- doing this will *directly* affect your tips, which are usually 80% or more of your income. Keeping in mind that the ladies (or men) in question are being nice and friendly as a part of their job first and foremost, I am wary of asking a waitress out. I'll usually be upfront about it though (I have in the past anyway), and at least tell her how much I enjoy her company, and ask if she would like to get together sometime when she's not working. If she's being professionally nice, there will be excuses- take them gallantly and bother her about it no more! Enjoy the company and be gracious, she might already have a boyfriend- or husband- but not want that to interfere with her tips. This is not deceitful, it is logical.

Bottom line, I'd say, is be honest. I like the fact that the OP was upfront about it. The ball is in her court now. The fact that there may be a history of other men doing such things and becoming stalker-ish is a strike against you, but those people aren't you. Treat her the way you'd like to be treated- honestly, and with respect. Isn't that what we all want?
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #23  July 22,2009, 1:47pm
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Well I aint ever asked out a waitress, but I have seen my brothers do this many times lol
Myself I think its funny to watch my brothers get pink in the cheeks over some 'hawt chick' waiting on them.
When we are all together an my oldest bro(A) thinks a waitress is hot, my youngest brother(B) will point out to the waitress that (A)'s interested, then (A) blushes more an (B) will proceed to ask if she thinks (A) is cute or does she already have a boyfriend.

(A) then steps up to the plate (no pun intended) an talks to her so that saves the rest of us from hearing about "Man that waitress was 'hawt', or she had legs all the way up to her ears, or I think she liked me", type of bull snozz.

It makes for an entertaining evening as well because we all come off good natured an teasing instead of creepy or stalker-ish.

Now a one on one type of thing I'm not sure how it would be taken.
Hmmmm

Anyway, wait till she's been back from vacation for a week or 2 to 'pop' in an have lunch or what have ya, dont mention the flowers, let her.

Ok I'm done thinkin in text.
 
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sheera007 is offline sheera007 Post #24  July 22,2009, 2:19pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Are your turning into a Mr_Wrong here?
Flowers are creepy?

I could think of a few much creepier things that we, Ladies, sometimes choose to overlook for certain Mr_Rights...
Exactly! I don't think the flowers were creepy... at all.

It was a sweet gesture. It would only creep me out if the flowers continued to show up on a regular basis (especially if I hadn't even acknowledged the first ones) and/or if they were accompanied by a creepy note.
 
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NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline NiceGuysFinishFirst Post #25  July 22,2009, 2:52pm

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I got it. I made a mistake. But at least I gave it a shot and that's how you learn, right?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #26  July 22,2009, 2:55pm
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NiceGuysFinishFirst wrote :
I got it. I made a mistake. But at least I gave it a shot and that's how you learn, right?
That's very true! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (that movie comes out next month).

Now go out there and ask out 10 hot girls, and let us know the results.

And props to you for giving it a shot after all. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.
 
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NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline NiceGuysFinishFirst Post #27  July 22,2009, 2:56pm

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sheera007 wrote :
Exactly! I don't think the flowers were creepy... at all.

It was a sweet gesture. It would only creep me out if the flowers continued to show up on a regular basis (especially if I hadn't even acknowledged the first ones) and/or if they were accompanied by a creepy note.
Thanks. I appreciate your words, but I can see what some of the others said about getting to know someone a bit first. It's cool. I'm sure there are some women in this world who would love for a guy to get her flowers...I just moved in too soon and now I know it was a mistake. And I won't continue to send her flowers either.
 
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NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline NiceGuysFinishFirst Post #28  July 22,2009, 2:57pm

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Mr_Right wrote :
That's very true! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (that movie comes out next month).

Now go out there and ask out 10 hot girls, and let us know the results.

And props to you for giving it a shot after all. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.
I'm working on it. As a matter of fact I'm going to be talking to someone else on the phone tonight. And BTW congratulations to you on finding love. You seem like a really good guy and I wish you all the best.
 
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Raw_Truth is offline Raw_Truth Post #29  July 22,2009, 3:07pm
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First, you took a risk which is always good. It will embolden you for the next time.

Second, don't listen to all these naysayers. Anyplace is fair game if you play it right and the circumstances are right. Remember, the old adage holds true in dating more than most any other facet of life - you lose out on 100% of the chances you don't take.

Third, the time to act was while she was coming to your table; just a quick "can I get your number" kind of a deal.

Forth, complimenting the boss was too much, and the flowers/note were way WAY too much. We've all second guessed the times we've chickened out, but you should have had more patience, and gone to the restaurant after she returned, and asked her then, face-to-face.

Fifth, it's a 0.01% chance she'll call. If she doesn't, forget it. At this point if you keep pursuing you would kinda look stalkerish. I'd recommend waiting some time before returning to the restaurant, if not avoiding the place all together.

Sixth, view it as a learning experience. Next time act on the spur of the moment, don't chicken out.
 
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rix is offline rix Post #30  July 22,2009, 3:20pm
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There appears to be a mixed consensus on the flowers bit; and basically, we can only speak from past experience and personal preference.

However, if you were expecting "immediate" results, the flowery touch was a bit overwhelming. But, with time, it may work to your advantage. She's probably a bit freaked out right now, but if you make a strategic withdrawal, it may work out in the end. Just hang out on the periphery of her existence, and don't press the issue. And with time, she will begin to think it was a sweet gesture, and may be more responsive in the future. But anyways, don't expect overnight success. Be prepared to settle in for a long siege. Persistence is key. And, you will eventually either wind up with a date, or a restraining order.
Last edited by rix; July 22,2009 at 3:22pm.
 
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