Fear of rejection

Do you have an equation that would explain why I grow to like you and the brevity of your posts more and more?

Are we ruling out rampant insanity?

I guess so... It's well past the right midnight and time for me to leave this fearfully rejecting planet.

Stay well.

Possibly the planet isn't rejecting, just wary of getting an icecream brain freeze

I’m a single guy in my early 40’s with a lot to offer a woman. I have a very good job that places me in the upper 2% of US incomes, own a nice house, know how to manage my money, love to travel, love to be out doors, I’m tall, in good shape, and I don’t have any children.

So, what is my dating problem? I think I am too afraid of rejection. I need to be very sure that if I ask a woman out, she will say yes. Unfortunately, most women I meet seem to give out very ambiguous signals (or at least I don’t know how to read them). They are friendly, they smile, they will talk to me, but these are all signs that they are being friendly; they never give me any of the other signs that they are interested in being asked out by me (approaching me, touching my hand, leaning in closer when we are talking, etc.) The only women I have ever gone out with are those that pretty much hit me over the head with their interest in me. I’m usually not all that interested in them, but I go out with them anyway hoping something will develop, but it never does.

I recently got to wondering if maybe I’m just not very good at reading women. Maybe they are interested, and I’m so afraid of being rejected that I don’t take the chance. I’d like to know the experience of the other E-harmony readers here.

Guys, have you ever asked somebody out that was friendly but didn’t show a *lot* of interest, and had them say yes (and actually go out with you?) I put in that last caveat because I have asked out a couple of women who I found really attractive and had them say yes, only to later back out on me before the actual date with lame excuses like “I just started seeing someone and I want to see where that goes.” (Why did they say yes when I asked them out if they were already seeing someone?)

Women, if you are interested in somebody that you know socially (say, from a group of friends, the gym, or a social club), how much interest to you show? Are you shy and don’t always give strong signs, or do you pretty much hold up a sign saying “I’m interested” when you are interested?

I know that I should just take the chance and not worry about the rejection, but I have a hard time with rejection, and I’ve been working on that for a long time with little progress.

Thanks.