springtime is offline springtime Post #1  July 18,2009, 11:22am
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Ladies, have you found your soul mate yet? If you haven’t, perhaps you should start questioning why. I’m a woman in my 50s who’s been single for over 20 years. I’ve always had a difficult time finding my type of guy out there! And when I did find my type of guy, he didn’t stay around for long, and my heart would be broken… again. Recently, though, I met a guy who is so into me that he is planning to relocate over 1000 miles to be with me. The remarkable thing is that this is not a man I normally would have fallen for. Now, I feel that this one is a keeper! "Why?" Because of this: Making me happy has always been his top priority, and in truth, is what made me continue to communicate with him and to rather quickly fall in love with him. So far, I’m probably sounding a bit stereotypical or even cheesy, but please “hear” me out.
I was on another dating site when I was buzzed by this guy asking me if I wanted to chat. Reluctantly, I pressed okay; I say reluctantly because I had not read his profile yet. To my surprise, I found that I was enjoying our conversation. The words seemed to effortlessly flow between us. As I stated, I had not yet read his profile, so I knew nothing about him; but he had read mine. In truth, I am now glad that I hadn’t read his profile because I might not have even given him a chance to say "boo." You see, when I finally did read his profile and had looked at all of his photos, I saw that he was not “my type.” It was then that I began to question "My Type." The more I thought about it, I started to realize that "my type" had never been able to make me laugh or to make me feel as comfortable or as special as this guy had done in one online conversation! I'm a firm believer in the saying that "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting!" So I initiated the difficult "process" of adjusting to a new way of thinking because I no longer wanted to get what I'd been getting— disappointment and heartbreak. The bottom line is that we are now talking about marriage--yes, at this early stage in our relationship, I know that this man is my soul mate. We will not rush into anything, but I know that we WILL be together. And I am still truly amazed by it all!
What did it take to get to this stage? Chucking out all of my preconceived notions of what my man—my Mr. Right--should be like, look like, dress like; what type of job he should have, etc. I decided to leave it in God's hands. Believe me, this was a totally new concept for me, so it wasn’t easy! This man, however, is very patient and forgiving because I shared with him—very tactfully—just what I’ve mentioned here. He was not offended. He even told me that it made him feel special that I was willing to make such adjustments for him because it said to him that I genuinely cared about him. He said that my honesty helped him to feel my heart—helped him to know who I actually was deep down.
So ladies, if you haven’t found your soul mate yet, then perhaps it’s time to throw out your notions of what Mr. Right should be like and decide how you want your man to treat you and to make you feel. I’m not saying that you should fall for a man who is a lazy, irresponsible bum. You still want to look for the guy who is responsible, dependable, hardworking, and morally upright; and you certainly don’t want to be repulsed by him. But perhaps instead of choosing what you’ve always chosen, allow him to choose you! Doesn’t it make sense that if he chooses you, he’s going to do what it takes to keep you? —do what he can to make you happy? It’s what I did, and it has made a world of difference for me! I couldn’t be happier. And I can’t help but think that if I had known this earlier in life, it wouldn’t have taken me 20 years to find happiness with a man that I truly love and who makes it known to me every day that he absolutely adores me!
Last edited by springtime; July 18,2009 at 11:27am.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 18,2009, 11:33am
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- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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Just to be sure … but, have you met this man, or is this just an online thing so far?
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springtime is offline springtime Post #3  July 18,2009, 11:44am
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[QUOTE=D_Lion;678364]Just to be sure … but, have you met this man, or is this just an online thing so far?
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  July 18,2009, 11:52am
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Okay; if you’ve met, I’m a lot more encouraged.
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springtime is offline springtime Post #5  July 18,2009, 12:10pm
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[QUOTE=D_Lion;678380]Okay; if you’ve met, I’m a lot more encouraged.
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  July 18,2009, 12:26pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Perhaps related to your point....I try to be careful in my thoughts not to form a specific image of what my 'type' of woman is. I try not to form a preconceived idea of a woman, thereby limiting who I may be open to meeting.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  July 18,2009, 5:19pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Well some success. Congratulations.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #8  July 18,2009, 7:06pm
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is keeping warm with her Honey.

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I totally agree. The guy I'm seeing now is about the same height as I am, maybe an inch shorter, and has a lifestyle that is completely different from mine. I actually looked at his profile once because he has a nice face, but figured we were too different and moved on.

He saw that I had looked, liked my profile and emailed me. I told him about how different we were and he didn't care.

We've only been going out for a month, and like you say, anything could happen, but so far I'm pretty happy. And my usually skeptical friends are even rooting for him!
 
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