Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Teacherman25 Teacherman25 is offline
Teacherman25's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 25

See profile

So I have had several matches that I have been in OC with. (not to mention the 100s that are non-paying customers...who don't respond...but thats a whole nother issue) hahaha.

anyways, I started talking with this one match and we hit it off as best as you can online I guess. We were talking and EVERYTHING about her was great. We had a ton of stuff in common...you name it...it fit...(other than the fact that she is 4 hours away). Here's my problem. We were talking in OC....and all of the sudden it just stopped...I know that she was on a one Month Subscription and it was about to run out. It is very easy to find someone on facebook...you just type in his or her name and where they are from and usually that person will pop up on the first page. Knowing that her membership was about to expire, would it be inappropriate for me to send her a message on Facebook?? I really think we hit it off, but I also know that if the connection was "that great" then she would probably go ahead and renew. So, my actual question is this.....

Contact this match outside of eharmony to see if she is still interested...or just let the cards lay where they fall.????
Thanks for any advice!!!!
- July 18th, 2009, 10:33 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
tweet37 tweet37 is offline
tweet37's Avatar

tweet37 has all the tools and can.....satisfy.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 3,231

See profile

You didn't say how long you were in OC but if it was longer than a few exchanges that was a mistake. After a couple messages, it's time for regular e-mail if not phone numbers.

I don't do Facebook but if you really are interested in her give it a shot.
- July 18th, 2009, 10:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,053

See profile

I find it okay to contact her via any means that she enabled, and does not represent unusual access on your part.

She placed herself on this Facebook in a public way, and that is therefore fair game.

What would be “stalkerish” would be to conceal your identity on a different service as you communicated with her.

I agree with your thought, however, that her failing to renew her membership and / or not providing phone or personal e-mail, means that she is not sufficiently interested in you to justify your continued interest in her.
- July 18th, 2009, 10:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Nevada_Guy Nevada_Guy is offline
Nevada_Guy's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 38

See profile

Ask for an email or phone number.
If you are in OC and she is about to finish her subscription, she will give it you if she is interested.

If she doesn't then you have your answer.
- July 18th, 2009, 10:49 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop shoopthedoop is offline
shoopthedoop's Avatar

shoopthedoop is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 522

See profile

I think adding her as a friend on Facebook with a note on the friend request reminding who you are isn't going too far. Maybe you could apologize for not giving her your email addy.

But that's as far as you should go. Any more communication unless she reciprocates is probably crossing the line.
- July 18th, 2009, 10:50 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ...is relieved that the homebuyer's tax credit has been extended.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,412

See profile

I think sending her a communication via Facebook would be ok. Just make sure it's only 1 and if she doesn't respond leave it at that.
- July 18th, 2009, 10:50 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Teacherman25 Teacherman25 is offline
Teacherman25's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 25

See profile

Thanks so much y'all!!!
I love this advice discussion part of eharmony.

to answer some of the questions you had....
We were only in open communication for a few posts. (very long answers by her though)

I did ask her for her email/AIM etc...but that was my last message. She told me in her "last" message that her subscription was about to run out. Now, what does "about" mean. Like that night or in a few days??? My last message to her was asking her for that information, but I don't think she has been online because the "who's viewed me" page doesn't show her...and she was looking at my profile daily when we were communicating.

This is so frustrating because I really felt a connection, but I don't want to blow it either by acting like i went and looked her up...well I guess that is what I did, but still...I just don't know what to do....

Thanks to all for the advice so far....keep it coming....LOL
- July 18th, 2009, 10:57 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Doodler Doodler is offline
Doodler's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 135

See profile

If I knew my membership was about to expire and I wanted to continue communicating with a guy, I would give him my email address prior to the expiration date. Or, I would say "hey, hit me up on facebook." The fact that she didn't would indicate to me that she is not that interested. To me, trying the facebook route isn't exactly "stalker" but more desperate.

Just my opinion as a woman...
- July 18th, 2009, 11:04 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,053

See profile

shoopthedoop wrote :
I think adding her as a friend on Facebook with a note on the friend request reminding who you are isn't going too far. Maybe you could apologize for not giving her your email addy.

But that's as far as you should go. Any more communication unless she reciprocates is probably crossing the line.

Well-said.
- July 18th, 2009, 11:14 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,336

See profile

If I had made it as far as Second Questions and knew that my subscription or my matches subscription was about to run out I would have provided my personal e-mail address to continue communicating when the subscription ran out. Here you were in OC and neither you nor your match was interested in doing that so it would seem that someone here is not very interested.

To your question about contacting someone through Facebook. Since Facebook is an open medium it would seem that it would fine to contact anyone via their Facebook.
- July 18th, 2009, 11:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »

Bookmarks

« Interracial dating | Array | Over Weight »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Showing interest or stalking jimmyfats Dating 22 July 30th, 2009 09:27 am
Short and Sweet Relationship? JDavid Relationships 26 July 15th, 2009 01:05 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Where do you want my tongue? Holy Cow! I should have known. I walked right into that one! And just the right touch to lighten things up again.... j8a ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“ Exactly. So just as in real life, you have to think about how your actions affect the electronic "attraction" between you and your match. Would asking the 1st Question "How have your ... ” – melman

Join the “How do I stop getting too attached to my matches too soon?” discussion

“Gotta agree with everyone else. There is a huge difference between a couple that chooses to wait until marriage and one that just doesn't really feel any desire for each other. Unless you both ... ” – chawks64

Join the “dating for two years” discussion

“It's true that everyone has a different interpretation of 'nice'.......but isn't it a blessing that someone is upfront, regardless of their reason or choice of words??? I would think people would be ... ” – SincerelySarcastic

Join the “She does not want to be with me because I'm "too nice".” discussion

“yes, and along with Danishes, muffins and coffee ... Thanks, but I'm not really a Danish or a muffin kind of gal. Coffee, yes. And yes, dating can be frustrating. I take long breaks. It ... ” – littlebluemonkeymind

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion

“Actually the Who's Viewed Me shows the last time that the person viewed your profile WITHOUT sending a communication. If they send a communication then they will not show up as a view but will have ... ” – melman

Join the “How to find this?” discussion

“Wait at least a year. You gotta let those "love hormones" simmer down a bit to get to know the real him. There is a huge differance in staying the night, even if its every night and living together. ... ” – grlnxtdr

Join the “Advice Needed -- What's Next?” discussion

“Love Kate.....Love both Underworld movies even more so. Every girl I know who's seen Serendipity says it's a 'great love' story. To me, I get that it's a love story, but the whole.....'they are in ... ” – SincerelySarcastic

Join the “Is it meant to be?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:43 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0