Size Does Matter? (Weight)


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Geek4God is offline Geek4God Post #1  July 16,2009, 6:08am
Geek4God's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Maine, USA

Posts: 2

See profile

Here's my question, does size matter? I think it does. Before I go on let me explain what has happened to me in the past. I have many "girlfriends" i.e. friends who are girls, and they often come to me for advice and counsel. Normally at some point in the conversation comes the famous phrase "You are so great, I wish I could find a guy like you." I sit there, and say to myself "Eh, What ABOUT me?"

This has happened 6 times in the last month alone. Granted I'm not the most handsome guy and I am overweight, but I'm working on that. Is it just me or are people looking past who I am on the inside to see the person on the outside? I've been to the mall before with my friends and they'll see the 6 foot, blond hair, blue eyes guy who looks like he stepped out of an Ambercrombie & Fich ad. They'll ooo and ahh and virtually forget about me.

Is it that I'm big, or they are just using me when they feel like it? Lately it seems that it's the first. Has anyone else experienced this? It gets depressing especially in the summer.
 
  Reply With Quote
55Production is offline 55Production Post #2  July 16,2009, 1:34pm
55Production's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Texas

Posts: 33

See profile

First of all you are FRIENDS with these girls. Girls who are your friends will rarely be your 'girlfriend'. You look pretty young and especially in the young years (and it turns out to continue to be true as you get older) the attractions are based on 'reproduction'. So, yes, your weight is an issue. They aren't doing it on purpose, it's just hard-wired for them to respond to men who will provide the best genes for their offspring. Even on the pill, the brain's reaction is the same. YOU should be reacting the same way even if you don't feel good enough about yourself to pursue great looking girls as a mate. Now, we all struggle with weight issues and genetics are kinder to some than others. .... and STOP making FRIENDS with the girls if you're really wanting a 'girlfriend'.
 
  Reply With Quote
txbubba is offline txbubba Post #3  July 16,2009, 1:49pm

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

30.11°N 94.16°W

Posts: 453

See profile

one truism of life is that if you want to be noticed by other women, then be with a woman first period.

your women friends are seeing you as a TOOL. yeah, you're nice and listen to their boyfriend problems (coz those jerks won't) and all... someone who has qualities they're looking for in a partner but somehow you possess a physical, behavioral or financial trail that makes it repulsive for them to date you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  July 16,2009, 1:52pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

55Production wrote :
First of all you are FRIENDS with these girls. Girls who are your friends will rarely be your 'girlfriend'. You look pretty young and especially in the young years (and it turns out to continue to be true as you get older) the attractions are based on 'reproduction'. So, yes, your weight is an issue. They aren't doing it on purpose, it's just hard-wired for them to respond to men who will provide the best genes for their offspring. Even on the pill, the brain's reaction is the same. YOU should be reacting the same way even if you don't feel good enough about yourself to pursue great looking girls as a mate. Now, we all struggle with weight issues and genetics are kinder to some than others. .... and STOP making FRIENDS with the girls if you're really wanting a 'girlfriend'.
+1
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #5  July 16,2009, 1:55pm
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

I don't fall into the "I'm one of your girlfriends with a penis trap". Yes, they'll talk about how great you are; however, you'll end up in the friend's zone. It happens to guys regardless how they look. If you step into the role as one of their "girlfriends/psychotherapist/relationship counselor" you'll be perceived as a friend and as a friend only.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  July 16,2009, 1:57pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I am short and constantly rejected based on that.

I have female friends (they are not girlfriend material as they are married or otherwise spoken for) who can't understand why I don't have a girlfriend either. What prompts these comments is that I have all the qualities that their husbands or boyfriends don't.

Nice guys don't finish last, they don't finish because they are never in the race.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ludiusvox is offline Ludiusvox Post #7  July 16,2009, 2:03pm
Ludiusvox's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2008

Sacramento

Posts: 184

See profile

You have much to learn!

Does weight matter? Yes absolutely, depending on the weight of the person you would like to see. Someone who works out 6 hours a day would probably not want to date someone who doesn't work out at all because they don't have the same priorities. But as long as you aren't too picky you should be fine! There are girls out there for you.Even if a guy is 5'1" there is girls out there who will date a 5'1" guy.

Now down to business: You don't want to waste your time chasing females around only to have them tell you "I'm not into you" or w/e.
Your best off not wasting time on females who aren't into you; whomever they may be. Spend time on a girl who is into you.
Last edited by Ludiusvox; July 16,2009 at 2:08pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Jasmine83 is offline Jasmine83 Post #8  July 16,2009, 2:07pm
Jasmine83's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 19

See profile

You should try the Wii Fit. My cousin lost 50 pounds on it.
 
  Reply With Quote
bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #9  July 16,2009, 2:28pm
bigfincat's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 4,077

See profile

55Production wrote :
First of all you are FRIENDS with these girls. Girls who are your friends will rarely be your 'girlfriend'. You look pretty young and especially in the young years (and it turns out to continue to be true as you get older) the attractions are based on 'reproduction'. So, yes, your weight is an issue. They aren't doing it on purpose, it's just hard-wired for them to respond to men who will provide the best genes for their offspring. Even on the pill, the brain's reaction is the same. YOU should be reacting the same way even if you don't feel good enough about yourself to pursue great looking girls as a mate. Now, we all struggle with weight issues and genetics are kinder to some than others. .... and STOP making FRIENDS with the girls if you're really wanting a 'girlfriend'.
I really don't buy the hard-wired based on reproduction. If that were the case then we'd all like the same thing. We tend to be attracted to things that are in our frame of reference. Such as a theatre actor being attracted to a respected fellow theatre actor. An english major being attracted to a brilliant writer. I don't see the female in this situation thinking that our children would be excellent actors or writers. They respect the ability & are attracted to that ability. Those men may also have lesser appealing physical attributes.

What we learn throughout our lives is not hard-wired. That suggests that we are born with it.

Big b00bs can turn me off while I know that the eyes of many guys can light up when seing them...even if they are fake. I know that you are speaking from the female perspective more than the male. But from the male view, I know plenty of b00b guys that like a little meat on a woman's bones while I also know a large amount of men that like women that weigh 100 pounds & could care less if they have an A cup.

Some women like the Lance Armstrong type physique while others may like a more stocky man.

We are all attracted to certain things & we may not be able to choose to find someone attractive.
 
  Reply With Quote
tigerlilyplay6 is offline tigerlilyplay6 Post #10  July 16,2009, 3:41pm
tigerlilyplay…'s Avatar

Dating is a rollercoaster enjoy the ride

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 22

See profile

Hi,
First let me say my heart goes out to how you are feeling right now. However, coming from a woman, we don't catergorize our platonic male friends as mates because we look at you as a brother or close relative. Therefore, it would be almost like incest to date you. As far as your weight goes...yes that is a problem for a lot of people in society no matter what age. I know because I am country thick not even considered over-weight and I see the looks I get. Don't let that get you down, concentrate on bettering you whatever that means and be comfortable with the skin your in. Have confidence, poise and good talker and women will want you no matter what you look like. Oh! and if they do then better not to date them because they are shallow, unhappy and probably no fun anyway.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Dating and Technology: What's Appropriate? | Dating | Need advice »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
My experience with EH and weight ellie82smiles Using eHarmony 97 August 2,2010 7:35pm
Weight Training JDavid Fitness 8 September 10,2009 12:20pm
Have Fun While Losing Weight! outlaw1 Health & Wellness 11 September 8,2009 5:48pm
weight loss surgery florabell Ask a Dating Expert 8 July 10,2009 5:46am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Wow Legend, you have been through a lot! OP, about 2 months ago, I went gluten-free and dairy-free with the exception of an occasional greek yogurt with fruit a few times a week. My main reason why ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ I did not discourage the OP from meeting him....just wanted her to also be sure to be safe and not throw caution to the wind. I hope she has a great time and posts to the board how successful her ... ” –  legend29

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“The perpetrator at my work has slowed their controlling ways a bit. But, I think the damage is done for some and she will never be anything but an annoyance to them. She's much quieter, though seems ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Who's the Boss?” discussion

“Oh, I forgot to give an example from my family of origin. Both my grandpa and my father had their own successful businesses. We lived together in a 4 floor building occupying different flats but we ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:09am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0