newly dating & other person gets sick


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
CluelessSometimes is offline CluelessSometimes Post #1  July 16,2009, 3:39am
CluelessSomet…'s Avatar

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

Hello everyone
My dilemma - I just started dating someone (2 months) when they got sick with bronchitis. I called/texted them almost everyday to inquire about their health. He was depressed about being sick - very active & athletic guy - so I understood. After a week of quarantine - he went back to the doctor and they told him he had pneumonia - nothing really bad just a touch - but it put him deeper in his shell. So when he didn't call me back (I've been under some stress lately too), I sent him a text that basically said I wasn't going to call him anymore because I felt I was a bother. I said thanks for everything - had a great time together - take care. Then I said he was too nice of a guy to tell me. So the next day I regretted sending it..so of course I followed up with a text saying so. I also said that I'm not a drama queen/hate drama of any kind and wasn't thinking clearly. I closed it with a maybe we can talk about it if you feel up to it? And of course he never responded. Its been a couple of days. I'm not going to pursue the matter anymore but I was wondering if its appropriate (because I do really care about the outcome) to text him in about a week just to ask about his health? Although I regret the outcome, I've put this in the category of lesson learned.....
 
  Reply With Quote
emerraald is offline emerraald Post #2  July 22,2009, 8:35pm
emerraald's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 197

See profile

Send him get well wishes, and ask him to call ot text you when he is better. Sometimes being sick just takes all the energy out of you
 
  Reply With Quote
eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  July 29,2009, 3:45pm
eHA_Admin_Lor…'s Avatar

My one wish for you, is love. :)

Moderator

Joined: Nov 2008

Santa Monica, CA

Posts: 5,120

See profile

Oooh, this thread belongs in Dating -- I will move it so you get more response.
 
  Reply With Quote
fffstillwaiting is offline fffstillwaiting Post #4  July 29,2009, 4:07pm
fffstillwaiti…'s Avatar

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

Some guys just find it hard to say it like it is, trying NOT to hurt a lady's feelings, but end up doing just that. The extra texting and phonecalls only push the guys away. Someone once advised me to read the book (better than the movie!) "He's Just NOT That Into You" and I did. Very good points that no girl wants to listen to, but the supposed "sick" guy is probably not worth you worrying about. When the guy is kind and caring to you, you'll know he's worth being concerned about and you won't have to second-guess yourself.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 29,2009, 4:33pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Sorry to say that you screwed this up royally. Basically you have dumped him at this point it is best just to drop the whole thing and move on as best you can. I would consider you contacting him again to be near the level of stalking.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #6  July 29,2009, 6:03pm
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

Personal rant...

DON'T TEXT!

If you have been going out for a couple of months you should have called him or sent him a Get Well card. Bring him soup!

(At this point as Gr8 says, you've probably killed it.)
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #7  July 29,2009, 6:09pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

no more...stop. STOP. He is NOT dying. He could have texted you LONG before you basically gave up on him. Now you feel like you made a mistake (you didn't) and are basically making yourself nuts.

He is not unable to reach the phone. He is ignoring you.

I had a match I was interested in...he sent a long nice email to get to know me. I didn't have a chance to write back write away...so he wrote me again....and again......and again....AND again.

I'm too freaked out now to even know where to start. He killed that one.

Let it go. He knows how to reach you, no amount of apologzing or texting, calling or whatever is going to change anything at this point. The only possible thing that might help is being quiet and doing nothing.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #8  July 29,2009, 7:13pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

cp30 wrote :
Let it go. He knows how to reach you, no amount of apologzing or texting, calling or whatever is going to change anything at this point. The only possible thing that might help is being quiet and doing nothing.
Yep! I agree with cp!
 
  Reply With Quote
happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #9  July 29,2009, 7:40pm
happyquestion's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Sydney, Australia

Posts: 154

See profile

cp30 wrote :
He is not unable to reach the phone.

The only possible thing that might help is being quiet and doing nothing.
We all need closure don't we? In our struggle to get a reasonable response have you thought why you kept calling/texting? was it for your peace of mind on the status of your relationship or is it out of genuine care for his wellbeing, or neither or both? you know it best.

But in pursuing that outcome have we lost sight of the bigger picture, which is what a relationship is really about? again you determine what a fulfilling relationship means to you.

Saying all these i do not endorsing his silence, instead of focusing on his behaviour look at the relationship as a whole, you'll know what to do.
 
  Reply With Quote
jalady4 is offline jalady4 Post #10  July 29,2009, 8:11pm
jalady4's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Birmingham, Alabama

Posts: 4

See profile

I have a friend that had gotten sick, and I felt that he ignored me. I basically told him that I felt that he was ignoring me and that I am pretty much done. He quickly responded by calling me selfish and saying that I was not a very good friend, and that I should think of some one other than myself. That was harsh to hear but very much needed. He was a friend that I talked to daily before he became ill.
One other thing........ never push the envelop if you are not willing to follow through it makes you seem like a head case when you go back on your own suggestion. If you had not sent the follow up messages, but instead just followed through with your original text, you would have gotten an answer; however, it may not have been what you wanted to hear.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« GUY... Do you like Jewelry on a lady? | Dating | Showing interest or stalking »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Dating more than one person at a time christianlife Dating 44 December 29,2009 6:25pm
Full figured women-how to get more out of online dating outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 9 August 14,2009 3:05pm
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 8:04am
What drives me mad about men on Christian dating sites lothlorienwoods Christian Singles 75 August 3,2009 1:12pm
When is it time to stop dating? drwill911 40 Something 0 July 14,2009 6:16pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Wow Legend, you have been through a lot! OP, about 2 months ago, I went gluten-free and dairy-free with the exception of an occasional greek yogurt with fruit a few times a week. My main reason why ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ I did not discourage the OP from meeting him....just wanted her to also be sure to be safe and not throw caution to the wind. I hope she has a great time and posts to the board how successful her ... ” –  legend29

Join the “a match wants to meet me in a foreign country” discussion

“The perpetrator at my work has slowed their controlling ways a bit. But, I think the damage is done for some and she will never be anything but an annoyance to them. She's much quieter, though seems ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Who's the Boss?” discussion

“Oh, I forgot to give an example from my family of origin. Both my grandpa and my father had their own successful businesses. We lived together in a 4 floor building occupying different flats but we ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:08am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0