sprklnbliz is offline sprklnbliz Post #1  July 15,2009, 7:16pm
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Since eHarmony does not have a specific statement about marital status when it is appropriate to discuss? I am a 39 year old widow with two children ages 10 and 8. The fact that I have children is in my profile. I generally do not share the fact that I am a widow until I see how open communication is going. I have had at least three guys some emailing after I share that I am a widow. I am financially stable and not looking for a man simply for his money. Nor am I looking for someone to fill their father's shoes emotionally. I do not want to put too much focus on my past or his past - just the basics.

Suggestions please!!
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #2  July 16,2009, 11:33am
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I know how you feel. I was got married young and divorced not long after. When it comes to this drop down menu, I usually put single.

People I've come across, boards I've read and suchs, majority of people think "divorcee's" have baggage..be it financial, emotional or whatever. I don't want someone to think that of me.

I do bring it up after a few dates, if the topic of ex's come up.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  July 16,2009, 12:33pm
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sprklnbliz wrote :

Suggestions please!!
My suggestion is for eHarmony to revert back to the format that included marital status included in one's profile information and add widowed this time.

They ask your marital status when you fill out the questionaire but they no longer list it. By not including that as profile information is a disservice to those who are widowed because as soon as marital status becomes a topic of discussion, widowed puts a real damper on the conversation because most people my age assume I'm divorced.

But in the meantime, I would suggest working brief mention of your status somewhere into your profile so there are no unpleasant surprises a little later.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  July 16,2009, 12:55pm
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tweet37 wrote :
My suggestion is for eHarmony to revert back to the format that included marital status included in one's profile information and add widowed this time.

They ask your marital status when you fill out the questionaire but they no longer list it. By not including that as profile information is a disservice to those who are widowed because as soon as marital status becomes a topic of discussion, widowed puts a real damper on the conversation because most people my age assume I'm divorced.

But in the meantime, I would suggest working brief mention of your status somewhere into your profile so there are no unpleasant surprises a little later.



Agreed 110%.

There are people out there who don't want to date widowed people. Like it was a communicable disease or something (well, i did have that friend widowed 3 times!). But seriously, you don't want to have to deal with them. Not with what you've been through.

Making some positive mention somewhere in the freestyle questions should weed out those bad apples...

Good luck, hon, from one widow to another!
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #5  July 16,2009, 1:28pm

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as for being a widow, there is nothing to be embarassed or to be ashamed of. it happened due to something that was completely out of your control. go on and tell your matches that you're a widow.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  July 16,2009, 5:19pm
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txbubba wrote :
as for being a widow, there is nothing to be embarassed or to be ashamed of. it happened due to something that was completely out of your control. go on and tell your matches that you're a widow.



This is so unlike you...
Are you showing us your "softer" side???
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #7  July 16,2009, 5:36pm
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j0hn8andy wrote :
This is so unlike you...
Are you showing us your "softer" side???
Amazing, huh! I guess wonders will never cease... or maybe this is just a bout of temporary insanity that will pass quickly
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  July 16,2009, 11:06pm
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j0hn8andy wrote :
This is so unlike you...
Are you showing us your "softer" side???
Awww... don't you know that TXBubba is really a pussycat?
 
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chrlesmd is offline chrlesmd Post #9  July 17,2009, 5:58pm
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txbubba wrote :
as for being a widow, there is nothing to be embarassed or to be ashamed of. it happened due to something that was completely out of your control. go on and tell your matches that you're a widow.
+1
 
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