After the Break Up: Beware of the Rapid Rebound

After the Break Up: Beware of the Rapid Rebound

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After the Break Up: Beware of the Rapid Rebound


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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #1  July 15,2009, 11:34am

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I'm wondering what anyone's thoughts are on this. How do you know when someone else is "on the rebound" as in, not over thier ex OR issues concerning their ex? A guy I dated was two years post-divorce and was totally over her (no longer in love w/her), but had mega issues concerning his 13 year relationship with her. Then again, there are people that move past issues much quicker and have a clean slate. How do you know when they are past a break up? Do you look at how long the relationship was with the last person? Six months, two years? How long they have been single? If they talk about their ex and how much? Some people find their true love right on the heels of a bad break up. Some people stay alone for years because they can't stop obsessing over someone they loved that dumped them....Or they date others when they are not ready. There's got to be a better way to figure this out.
Last edited by Monica1; July 15,2009 at 11:35am. Reason: typo
 
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Ludiusvox is offline Ludiusvox Post #2  July 15,2009, 11:43am
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I suppose everyone has their own method of dealing with life's hardships;
some people try replacement; some people choose reflection; others choose drugs; or try to forget.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  July 15,2009, 1:02pm
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Great article and great question. Here it is ...when are you going to meet someone?...........When they are currently free. It's really about the mental and emotional tenacity and maturity of the person ... mostly, that they want to get over it ,move on , become themselves and be with you, really be with you . When everything is still a reaction to the past including blaming the other, finding fault with you, etc...wonder if those people will ever move on? Other people can reflect, see what they want now and embrace you, and see you as the true love..
Monica1 wrote :
I'm wondering what anyone's thoughts are on this. How do you know when someone else is "on the rebound" as in, not over their ex OR issues concerning their ex? A guy I dated was two years post-divorce and was totally over her (no longer in love w/her), but had mega issues concerning his 13 year relationship with her. Then again, there are people that move past issues much quicker and have a clean slate. How do you know when they are past a break up? Do you look at how long the relationship was with the last person? Six months, two years? How long they have been single? If they talk about their ex and how much? Some people find their true love right on the heels of a bad break up. Some people stay alone for years because they can't stop obsessing over someone they loved that dumped them....Or they date others when they are not ready. There's got to be a better way to figure this out.
 
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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #4  July 15,2009, 1:17pm

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Wiseman2 wrote :
Great article and great question. Here it is ...when are you going to meet someone?...........When they are currently free. It's really about the mental and emotional tenacity and maturity of the person ... mostly, that they want to get over it ,move on , become themselves and be with you, really be with you . When everything is still a reaction to the past including blaming the other, finding fault with you, etc...wonder if those people will ever move on? Other people can reflect, see what they want now and embrace you, and see you as the true love..
Hey that's awesome! Thank you. I'm going to print this one and put it in my journal.- Or maybe tape it to the wall! I could just give you a big hug for putting that so simply and in an understanding, non-long-winded way!!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  July 15,2009, 3:12pm
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You should always Beware of the Rapid Rebound, regardless of the time past.

And while you are at it, you should also Beware of Life Altogether, we all know where that one's going...

And where is Gr8Guy when I really need him around here, just to agree with me on something?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  July 15,2009, 4:38pm
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The only relationship that is not a rebound is the first one.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #7  July 15,2009, 5:11pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
The only relationship that is not a rebound is the first one.
ESP?
 
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IsaSand is offline IsaSand Post #8  July 15,2009, 6:03pm
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I;m new to this site and I have to say that I don't know when someone is over their ex. I was a relationship on and off for 4 years.
He keeps leaving and than after awhile he calls and wants to come back and stupid me lets him. This last time I just couldn't do it anymore, he drinks and I mean drinks and he just can't get over his ex-wife from 7 years ago. He calls her his family when he is drunk and he just bought his kids and his ex-wife an airline ticket for a family re-union and she accepted it which I feel is wrong. When you
divorce that also means his family, when I brought this to his attention
he got upset and he almost hit me because I didn't order him a pizza when he was drunk.

I told him that he really needs to find out if his ex and him can get back together because their's something going on that I don't know about. Over the 4th of July wk end, he was suppose to move back with me, but he never showed up and I couldn't get him on his cell.
I don't know the truth, but its not good, the bad thing he will call in about 6 to 8 wks. This is his pattern and I just can't do it anymore,
its all my fault for letting it continue for so long, I'm a door matt but I deserve better. I don't have a net work of friends and I don't know how to have them. I have two good friends, I need help.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  July 16,2009, 3:09am
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.Why are you even with this alcoholic, abusive loser??????????? What are you thinking asking him to move back in with you? Anything, anything... is better than what you describe. The Ex thing is only the tip of the iceberg on this loser
IsaSand wrote :
I;m new to this site and I have to say that I don't know when someone is over their ex. I was a relationship on and off for 4 years.
He keeps leaving and than after awhile he calls and wants to come back and stupid me lets him. This last time I just couldn't do it anymore, he drinks and I mean drinks and he just can't get over his ex-wife from 7 years ago. He calls her his family when he is drunk and he just bought his kids and his ex-wife an airline ticket for a family re-union and she accepted it which I feel is wrong. When you
divorce that also means his family, when I brought this to his attention
he got upset and he almost hit me because I didn't order him a pizza when he was drunk.

I told him that he really needs to find out if his ex and him can get back together because their's something going on that I don't know about. Over the 4th of July wk end, he was suppose to move back with me, but he never showed up and I couldn't get him on his cell.
I don't know the truth, but its not good, the bad thing he will call in about 6 to 8 wks. This is his pattern and I just can't do it anymore,
its all my fault for letting it continue for so long, I'm a door matt but I deserve better. I don't have a net work of friends and I don't know how to have them. I have two good friends, I need help.
 
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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #10  July 16,2009, 3:46am

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Wiseman2 wrote :
.Why are you even with this alcoholic, abusive loser??????????? What are you thinking asking him to move back in with you? Anything, anything... is better than what you describe. The Ex thing is only the tip of the iceberg on this loser
IsaSand- Like Wiseman2 said, the ex thing is only the "tip of the iceberg". Do you not realize how letting him back in puts you in danger? You said you thought he was going to hit you. Alcoholism and violence get worse and worse and worse and fast! Please don't let him move back in and find some counseling for youreslf. I speak from experience. Take care and protect yourself
 
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