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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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AustinShaguar wrote :
I'm sure some "players" are on internet dating sites looking for their next victim in their game of conquest (sex). My impression is that EH is NOT a "dating site" but rather a source to find a SO based on common values, common interests, etc. It probably would have been better in your question to be specific about which internet sites you refer to. I'm sure some sites cater to a certain type of person or a site might have a certain niche that attracts people looking for something specific. There most certainly are internet "dating" sites where I believe it is about hookups and sex. Again, I don't consider EH to be one of them. However, EH can not screen every single member to determine intent. And, quite honestly, EH is a business seeking a profit so they must cater to the general masses.

Personally, I'm a guy who appreciates genuine honesty. As long as a prospect uses tact and isn't creepy when seeking answers I am more than happy to share my thoughts on any topic. My motto is "why play games"? I sometimes find it interesting that people will spend an inordinate amount of time on small talk. Sure, its nice to know your favorite color, favorite flavor of ice cream, etc. but these are not deal breaker issues. I prefer someone to be honest with me as I prefer they spend more time telling me what they are looking for or what they aren't looking for in a SO. Why waste each other's time. Let's get on with the business of finding our SO's.

Let's face it...with EH we already have a computer matching us up using science and psychology algorithms. The romantic idea of meeting that special someone through traditional practices has already been eliminated, in part, by the computer. Let's not fool ourselves into thinking this is a traditional method. Therefore let's go ahead into the bold new world and be bold and ask the hard questions.

You are honest and open. That's great! Let's hope our matches are willing to be honest and open too. And if they are here for just a hookup lets hope they'll disclose that up front.
Completely agree with all of this...

Be bold and ask the hard questions like Austin Powers....

"Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?"
- July 15th, 2009, 05:07 pm
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GILKEY GILKEY is offline
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pds857 wrote :
For me, sex is implied when you go on the second date.

You have to think a few steps ahead here, I'll try to be clear.

When you see someone's profile, ya read it, look at the picture(if any) Then ya decide right there, is this someone I might want to have sex with! lol (its not that cut an dried but in some way this happens)

Thats how some people see it anyway. I've talked to a few guys from eH an within the first week of comunication they want to know bout my prefferences on sex. Now I'm usually pretty open, an I'm always honest, yes I like sex, BUT I wanna get to know you first, I'm not a one night stand type of gal.
AND jus because I've called you on the phone or went on a date with you does not mean that I'ma sex you up on the first date or even in the first month. (there are no pinky promises haha)

Eventually, sex will happen, if you stay around long enough, an comunicate well enough. If I like you it will happen, dont try to force the issue, dont try to presure me, hang around if ya like me because if you get a second date with me then there is that implied chance of sex in the future.

Now, that being said, If they are lettin you know that they want sex, isnt that being honest?
I mean .... what man/woman dont want sex?
Who would be online lookin for love, if sex wasnt a part of the deal at some point?
You Control the speed of the relationship.
So... whats wrong with havin sex? (when you want to)
What happened to waiting until after the wedding to have sex~?
- July 15th, 2009, 05:08 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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GILKEY wrote :
What happened to waiting until after the wedding to have sex~?
Still happens - just not how it is done for everyone anymore.

So gilkey? Did you and your wife wait for marriage?
- July 15th, 2009, 05:10 pm
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GILKEY GILKEY is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
Still happens - just not how it is done for everyone anymore.

So gilkey? Did you and your wife wait for marriage?
Yes~!
- July 15th, 2009, 05:12 pm
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
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Robecology wrote :
So, if they've obviously just been attracted to the pic that may or may not be a current pic of you, then you assume the same about them? Honestly? Or is this being less than honest? A picture, they say, is worth a thousand words...I think this obviously bothers you; if you're honest. Try a less flattering pic and you might get more readers!
I like how you italicized part of one of the words in there.
- July 15th, 2009, 06:13 pm
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pds857 pds857 is offline
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pds857 Dang! The weekend is flyin in at high speeds, get ready for it people! lol

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WOW
Ok I knew I'd take some knocks for that one, But what I was tryin to say is;
that if I like you enough to go out on a second date with ya, then I like ya enough to get to a 5,8, 10, 12, whatever date.

I guess I'm a lil harsh because if I dont like who/what I see when we go on the first date then I'm not gonna accept a second date. I know I'll probably take more knocks for that one but I'm serious, if I feel weird on the first I dont wanna go through that again.

I get to know people an get a feel for them over the phone before I get to the date an if that varies far from my impressions over the phone then I jus dont go back for a second.

People do that all the time, I'm jus bein honest bout how I work it out.
- July 15th, 2009, 09:57 pm
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simplemind simplemind is offline
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HonestGal wrote :
I'm honest and open about what I want. I'm here to meet someone geninue not just for sex! Is internet dating just about sex??? If I'm honest about what I want - is this not what men want???

Hi, HonestGal. I'm reading all these terrific responses, and got so lost in them I forgot what the OP was.

And now that I read you again, find I need a little clarity. As I understand it, you are saying "I'm honest, I'm letting them know I want the whole person. The whole genuine person. Not just a hookup."

And you're experiencing responses from men who are just looking for a hookup? And are wondering if this is what internet dating is about?

Or is your question that men aren't wanting you to be honest that you want more than just sex?

If I understood those right, then yes, there are lots of men (and apparently some women) who are just online to find a hookup. And no, it's not the only thing that internet dating is about--read a lot of the threads and responses here, and you'll see diverse souls reaching out, sifting through, hoping for something magical/deep/stimulating/fulfillng. I'd say that of the huge number of posts I've read in my short time here, I've only identified one very clear player.

And as for the last one, if you're asking the men here if they don't want you to be honest...well, I guess we gotta wait for them to answer that one for you. My experience here is that, yeah, they'll be honest with you. Brutally honest, but in a brutally loving kind of way???

g'luck to you! It's not all bad.
Last edited by simplemind; July 15th, 2009 at 10:15 pm. Reason: clarity, clarity, claret?
- July 15th, 2009, 10:13 pm
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Josh_81, we need to talk. We need to have a one on one chat session, seriously. I am a little disturbed at some of the things you post and I would like to help if I can. When my son or daughter calls me, I have never thought, "what does he want now". I went through the seeing couples all around me after my divorce syndrome. Maybe chatting with you may help give you a step in the right direction.
- July 15th, 2009, 10:21 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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GILKEY wrote :
Yes~!
CONGRATS!
Should I suggest some therapy for all that screaming hormonal build up, or will you figure out what to do amongst yourselves?
- July 15th, 2009, 10:51 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is online now
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Robecology wrote :
OK; so the Brutally honest #1 got no votes so far, and the reserved honest, or cultured or modified honest answers (#2 & 3, and a few answers sort of-like #3) seems to be the majority. Guess no one likes to be brutal? That makes sense...thanks. Honesty is NOT dead, just hidden under cultural mores, so it seems.
one has to consider the speech act as well as the word meaning. so i don't know how honest the brutally honest answer is. it may be truthful. it may be factual. but i don't know that it paints the speaker in an accurate light.
- July 15th, 2009, 11:28 pm
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