Lying about meetig online


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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #1  July 14,2009, 3:43pm
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In the past I've actually seen a couple of guys post on their profiles that you must be willing to lie about where you met him.

The last long-termish (18 mos) relationship I had, the guy didn't want me to tell his parents or his friends that we met online.

In my life, my friends and family know I am on dating sites, and they've met many people I've met online. I do not keep secrets and do not understand the mentality of not telling people in your life where you met.

There isn't (or shouldn't) be any stigma associated with meeting online. In my opinion, those who are ashamed of it are the only ones perpetuating the perception of a stigma.

Does anyone on here tell their dates not to tell others you met online? Or have you had dates make this request of you? What is your opinion of this?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 14,2009, 3:50pm
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Don't you just love it when you're right, as you are now?

I haven't been asked this, and I doubt I would agree to it ... and anybody who trusts me to lie is putting way to much faith in my memory.
 
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lookin4lovexo is offline lookin4lovexo Post #3  July 14,2009, 3:57pm

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Because although your friends and family understand and approve does not mean everyone else accepts it. Many people will not understand, and if it makes someone feel more comfortable to not disclose it then so be it. Everyone is not "your friends and family." Some people's families are actually close minded.
Last edited by lookin4lovexo; July 14,2009 at 3:58pm. Reason: typo
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  July 14,2009, 4:05pm
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lookin4lovexo wrote :
Some people's families are actually close minded.

That is all the more reason to shed some light on their dark ways.

Lying serves no purpose.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #5  July 14,2009, 4:11pm

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D_Lion wrote :
That is all the more reason to shed some light on their dark ways.

Lying serves no purpose.
+1

My family was horrified that I dated online, but they're coming around. Right now they're having much bigger issues with the fact that my SO is divorced. The fact that I met him online is a non-issue.

I did not see the point in lying to them about where I met him, nor about the fact that he is divorced. They're either going to accept him for who he is or they are not. I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. How my family reacts to any of it is up to them. I will love them no matter what, even if they choose to be judgemental and overly harsh. They are my family. I sincerely hope they will extend the same courtesy to me, no matter what their feelings are on my relationship.
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #6  July 14,2009, 4:20pm
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Remember having pen pals? Writing to soldiers? Sending a thank you card to Aunt Matilda? It's the same thing, just electronic. I don't get why it's an issue.

If someone asked me not to tell we met online, I would wonder why they were looking online, and what else they would hide.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #7  July 14,2009, 4:23pm

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OverAnalyzer wrote :
Remember having pen pals? Writing to soldiers? Sending a thank you card to Aunt Matilda? It's the same thing, just electronic. I don't get why it's an issue.

If someone asked me not to tell we met online, I would wonder why they were looking online, and what else they would hide.
They used to have mail-order brides and arranged marriages too, both of which sound a whole lot worse to me. Call me old-fashioned.
 
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lookin4lovexo is offline lookin4lovexo Post #8  July 14,2009, 4:26pm

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Well I have not been faced with that decision yet. But when it comes to it I don't know if I'll tell the truth. It might be because I have never actually dated someone to show my family. It might feel awkward if the first one is someone from the internet. Especially to the close-minded that I am related to... who will just make fun.
 
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lookin4lovexo is offline lookin4lovexo Post #9  July 14,2009, 4:28pm

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Oh yeah... pen pals and soldiers are irrelevant. They are not sleeping or in an intimate relationship with you. You are not marrying or romantically involved with them. They are not a significant part of your life.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #10  July 14,2009, 4:40pm

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One thing I know for certain: The truth will find you out.

What's worse? Lying now and being found out later or telling the truth upfront and possibly being ridiculed? Yes, a person's family and friends might laugh or not understand, but I would rather deal with that than see disappoinment on their faces because I was untruthful. It's very difficult, and in some cases, impossible to rebuild trust once it has been broken by a lie.
 
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