E-mail or phone to tell someone after 2 dates you're not interested


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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #31  July 25,2009, 10:55am
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shoopthedoop wrote :
+1

Closing is much better than poofing. Two dates? Meh, don't really owe them much more than that.
I don't see closing as much different than poofing. I guess it gets the point across, but in a VERY impersonal way.

I think this question applies beyond eHarmony matches, where "closing" isn't an option.

It's kind of eye-opening at how many of the guys who've posted think that no more communication... basically "poofing," is perfectly acceptable in this situation. That just shows me how many guys lack the b all s to show just a little bit of common courtesy when the situation might cause them a tiny bit of uncomfortableness.

Really, how much effort does it take to send an e-mail saying "I had a nice time meeting you, but I think we'd both be better off pursuing other matches?" Just that little effort will make the difference in her looking back at dating you as a fond memory, or thinking of you as a rude SOB. Or being greeted warmly when you run into her at a party 6 months from now or getting the cold shoulder.

Question for these guys who think it's okay to disappear: If this situation were reversed, you'd gone out on two dates with a woman you were interested in seeing a third time and she just quit communicating with you... disappeared... poofed... How would you feel about that? Would you prefer to be left hanging for a week or more before you realized she dumped you or would you rather she send you a short e-mail thanking you for the lovely time but it's not working for her?

It's the basic Golden Rule: Treat others how you'd like them to treat you.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #32  July 25,2009, 11:54am
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Guess I am not the poof kind of guy, when I went on my first EH date, we clicked and I wanted to continue dating her and since I am a one women man, I told everyone I was in com with that I met someone. For the other girl I was in e-mails with, we continued to e-mail, told her all about my date but I guess it got hard on her with me talking about this girl alot over a period of about 2 months, she wished me well and went poof. I e-mailed her a month or so later and asked if she found anyone, she gave a short reply, "no, thinking of leaving e-harmony, and we send a couple more emails and have not emailed since. It was between her and the girl I am going out with now so if I progressed futher with her, it could have been her and we both knew that. She had said she wanted to meet me no matter what happen before I went to emails with either of them but we never did. I agree, don't poof, no matter what the out come is.
 
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