Men - are you put off by independent women?


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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #1  July 11,2009, 11:34am
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hmm...is that possible? Let's say I'm a 51 year old single parent of older kids, own my home, work full time, take care of inside and out, have hobbies, am happy, content, and keep crossing the next thing off my list.

I'm attractive, fun, not overweight, great cook, passionate, optimistic, and happy. (not a ploy, just stating what you may be wondering).

So why am I still single? Do men really want to take care of women? If so, how come I only meet the ones that want to be taken care of?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  July 11,2009, 11:54am
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FYI, there are a number of current/recent threads that touch on these themes; you might want to take a look at some of them if you haven't already.

Here are a few of them:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...o-rescued.html
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...ted-woman.html
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...g-trouble.html
http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...great-man.html
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #3  July 11,2009, 12:20pm

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i take care of my babe and my babe takes care of me. it works out well
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #4  July 11,2009, 1:59pm
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Thanks DC. I'll definitely check those out!
 
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trailviews is offline trailviews Post #5  July 11,2009, 2:29pm
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
hmm...is that possible?
[...]
So why am I still single? Do men really want to take care of women? If so, how come I only meet the ones that want to be taken care of?
You know, there's this third option called ... acting like equals.

Did you have a point here? You're claiming to be independent, but looking for a man who will "take care of" you?
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  July 11,2009, 2:41pm
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Women wanting a man to "take care of them" all too often find out, all too late, that they have made a TERRIBLE bargain for themselves.


Over and over.
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #7  July 11,2009, 2:47pm
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trailviews wrote :
You know, there's this third option called ... acting like equals.

Did you have a point here? You're claiming to be independent, but looking for a man who will "take care of" you?
I don't think that's what I said. I'm not looking for a man to take care of me. I find that I attract men who want me to take care of them. I don't understand why and don't want that, nor do I want them to take care of me. I would love to find an equal and am wondering why I keep attracting the opposite.
 
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rhythmicsoul is offline rhythmicsoul Post #8  July 11,2009, 3:34pm
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we are always independent even within our dependencies. so first of all the term "independent woman" is an oxymoron.

maybe questioning the reason for wanting a relationship in the first place would help. what sounds more to your liking, a person who expresses the cold, callousness of not 'needing' anyone for a relationship or the warmer, friendlier approach of a person who truly 'wants' a relationship and is willing to work towards making that relationship work even during times of self absorption.
if a nonconnectedness relationship is what you seek then maybe you're better off paying for a gigolo.
simply put we are all independently dependent on each other unless you exist in a bubble. and even then, who provided the bubble?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  July 11,2009, 3:52pm
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
I don't think that's what I said. I'm not looking for a man to take care of me. I find that I attract men who want me to take care of them. I don't understand why and don't want that, nor do I want them to take care of me. I would love to find an equal and am wondering why I keep attracting the opposite.
Quit sympathizing. When a man starts talking to you about his problems, tell him briefly and sweetly that you feel for him and change the subject. An apron strings boy that is looking for a mommie won't put up with this behavior for long, or maybe you will walk away after the first few times that he does this.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #10  July 11,2009, 4:01pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Nanette wrote :
Quit sympathizing. When a man starts talking to you about his problems, tell him briefly and sweetly that you feel for him and change the subject. An apron strings boy that is looking for a mommie won't put up with this behavior for long, or maybe you will walk away after the first few times that he does this.
Is it OK for a woman to talk to a man about her problems?
 
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