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bigfincat bigfincat is offline
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ebenezer wrote :
I for one chuckle to myself when I hear any woman declare herself independent. I know the categorization "independent" is popular and attractive to many women. The category is supposed to be of the elite sort of women. It is this attitude that causes some women to ask whether men are put off by independent women.

However, in my opinion, there are two categories of immature women: the dependent and the independent. I laugh at both these. The really mature woman, the one I respect from the very bottom of my heart, is the one that has progressed beyond being or even feeling independent to learning to be inter-dependent. The human society will always be so. No woman and no man should ever claim to be independent.

I looked up the meaning of the word "independent" and this is what I found: "not dependent; free; self-confident; unconstrained, not subject to control by others; not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood); not subordinate; rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be under obligation to others." I submit that any person that espouses the above characteristics would be most obnoxious to live with in any society.

Dear fellow human beings, men and women, let us teach ourselves not to be independent and neither to be dependent, but to be interdependent. We need each other in order to work for the common good and to attempt to bring about a compassionate and just society in our communities. Those of us who are students of Jesus Christ, this is our mandate which we have neglected for years. We need to report back on duty--NOW!

Now to answer the question. No I for one am not put off by independent women. Rather, I look at them with amusement as I watch them wasting their energies pursuing the wrong path for women, a path that will in the ultimate not serve their interests nor those of society at large. When I see an independent woman, I leave the way for her to pass before she knocks down.

I should mention that I have daughters. To be sure I don't want those my daughters to grow up to be independent. For God's sake noooo!! I desire for them to learn to become interdependent with fellow women and with men in their communities.

I write this in love. I hope I didn't sound accusative or judgmental. I intend neither. I salute you all.
Very good post.
- July 31st, 2009, 06:00 pm
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mclark mclark is offline
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bwr wrote :
I love doing the little things, but it seems like they are rarely appreciated by the women I am meeting lately. I am sick of carrying dates and relationships. All I read on these message boards are women complaing men never do the little thing, are not affectionate or romantic, yet in reality these women don't seem to exist
Maybe you are choosing the wrong women. Sometimes I think we forget to evaluate what we have contributed to the failure of a relationship. Each time one ends, I believe it is important for each of us to determine "What could I have done differently? Why did it not work?" "What responsibility do I have?"
That includes re-evaluating what we are looking for. Sometimes what we have always looked for, may be completely the wrong type of person. This requires us to step out the comfort zone, what is familiar is frequently not good. Strictly hypothetically: lets say a woman in your past belittled your attempts at kindness. Say you drew her a picture when you were 5. Her response was less than appreciative, but you maintained respect and love for this person. Now as an adult you gravitate toward that type of person, yet, it makes you unhappy.
I would like to share with you things that I have done to help me and what I have also told my children to do.
First, make a list of the attributes your are looking for in a mate. Read them regularly so they remain fresh in your mind. You will be less likely to be side tracked by infatuation.
Second, work on those attributes in your self that need attention. Ex. If you are quick to anger, then may be that can be work on.
Third, Make your life full and complete. What I mean is that: do the things that matter to you. Make time for your hobbies, to work on your health, find a charity that needs your talents, and learn something new.
We are always a work in progress. None of us ever reaches perfection.
While you are doing all this and reviewing your list of attributes, before you know it, the one you're looking for be presented to you.
- July 31st, 2009, 06:59 pm
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Dating advice message board This thread Refback August 11th, 2009 10:19 pm
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