Men - are you put off by independent women?


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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #31  July 12,2009, 7:18am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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Don't take it so personal Who says the men are right? We are just giving our opinion and don't mean to insult the women here. This is the way men talk. You have made good points. But please remember, men make up 50% of the equation here.

If we aren't happy, we back off from dating those who don't deem worth the effort. Women do the same and have pounded that into our heads. In fact TV and Madision Avenue represent the female point of view. Please don't make the same mistake men made 100 years ago by shutting up women.

That's the way I feel today per the Political Correct telling men how to talk, etc. Even this thread-we are asked a question and we gave our honest opinion. Isn't that what women want? Honesty? You are free to date the Political Correct man of your choice.

I'm 40ish; there's no way I'm going to change. I'd rather fight to the death anyone trying to take away more rights. You can only force humans so far. I'm guessing you are in your 20s?

Give peace a chance.


Zev wrote :
So I just have to act weak and poor to attract men? (yes, and pretty - can't forget that man-organ)

Wow, that's almost too simple.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #32  July 12,2009, 7:28am

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Zev wrote :
So I just have to act weak and poor to attract men? (yes, and pretty - can't forget that man-organ)

Wow, that's almost too simple.
don't forget to be emotionally needy and broken too- men love the crazy drama girls.
 
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Zev is offline Zev Post #33  July 12,2009, 7:31am
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outlaw1 wrote :
Who says the men are right?
Hey, make up your mind. I just changed my profile!

Just kidding. Pretending to be something I'm not will make me less than I am.

outlaw1 wrote :
I'm guessing you are in your 20s?
Nope, I'm 40ish. I daresay that when I was in my twenties I was much weaker and poorer, and probably prettier.
Now I'm just content with who I am and am looking for someone who can share that without adding his baggage. Seems a tall order.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #34  July 12,2009, 7:43am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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Wait a minute zev, you aren't weak or poor? Uhm wait one...[mumbling in the phone.] Sorry but er...the men today are only looking for extremely severaly, totally...downright, homeless...with one limb missing Sunday.

Let's see, if you are a healthy woman who can take care of yourself...oh man...bummer. Like you have no major issues?
Come on think man! Try to come up with something good...like leprosy... maybe the guys will leap at that?

Btw I'm sorry I was so direct before. I really need to understand when I might be insensitive and hurting someone. It's no fun for me to hurl invectives [oh I love that word!] and start a thread war. Unless of course we have a water pistol fight...it is the summer ya know.

Oh you are 40, ack, silly me I saw your avatar. What am I saying, just recently I was a kissing cow!

It's crazy the way we look at words. I mean if it means so much to women...then I guess more of us men will have to ugg, learn the new language...
 
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Zev is offline Zev Post #35  July 12,2009, 8:01am
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outlaw1 wrote :
Like you have no major issues?
Come on think man!
Yes, I do, lucky me. I have a deteriorated disk in my lower back which is giving me heck this week and I really NEED a man to come here right now and cut the grass!

I'm also sorry I showed my teeth earlier. I normally abhor hostile forums. Just gets my back up when I get lumped in with man-hating feminists just because I can do for myself. I ain't that.

Now I'm off to inspect my one and only tomato plant. Maybe if I look distressed enough one of my neighbours will come by with a lawnmower or something.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #36  July 12,2009, 8:27am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Zev wrote :
So I just have to act weak and poor to attract men? (yes, and pretty - can't forget that man-organ)

Wow, that's almost too simple.
Regarding being weak and having emotional needs....you don't have to act or pretend to be these things, because you actually are/have them. Everyone is vulnerable, feels pain, insecurity etc., it's just that some people try to cover this up, to not show it and pretend it doesn't exist. The idea of people who are independent in the sense of being invulerable, not having emotional needs and only needing someone to merrily float through life with is a fantasy. Everyone has weakness. You don't have to fake it....just own up to it in an open and honest way.
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #37  July 12,2009, 10:24am
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Harvey7 wrote :
The problem is that the type of man that you are looking to acquire is already spoken for. The men that you describe are a good catch and while you were busy mowing the lawn, he was being romanced by someone else. While you were busy shoveling the snow , he and his lady friend were in Florida at their condo.

As an independent women who is approaching senior citizenship in the near future, what have you been doing in the last ten years, that prevented you from finding a new man for yourself?

The one lesson that you should have learned as an I.W. was to first make time for yourself and if not, then neither would anyone else. Except for sex and a nice dinner out there is not much that a man can share with you.

You also have an "attitude problem" which is rather stand offish and is a definite turnoff.
What you do lack is objectivity to see yourself as you are today.
I do not mean that your not an interesting or a nice loving person, but you do have a problem personality wise, maybe being a bachelorette to long has contributed to the problem.

My suggestion is to try a Professional Match Maker that guarantees results. Or move to a 50 plus community or learn how to socialize.

Sorry to present such a pessimistic view, but you do lack socializing hobby's such as gold, tennis, sailing, drama club or theater club and the world is not going to beat a path to your door.

Harvey7
All this from one post? Sorry Harvey, but I find your response assuming, arrogant, venomous and heartless.

Tell me, are you one of those men that I did not meet while I was solely raising my children, working full time and taking care of my home?
Last edited by OverAnalyzer; July 12,2009 at 10:57am. Reason: edited
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #38  July 12,2009, 1:19pm
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
Let's say I'm a 51 year old single parent of older kids, own my home, work full time, take care of inside and out, have hobbies, am happy, content, and keep crossing the next thing off my list.

I'm attractive, fun, not overweight, great cook, passionate, optimistic, and happy. (not a ploy, just stating what you may be wondering).

So why am I still single?
I would not attempt to know why you are single. Everything above and all I have read in your other posts seems quite positive. You present yourself and your ideas very well.

However, what we present about ourselves here is 1) very limited and, 2) very biased. We do not understand the impression we create in others.

Wouldn't it be interesting to KNOW exactly what others thought of us? Would that be disconcerting or threatening for you (generic term)?

In personal conversation, it is said that the vast majority of our communication is non-verbal and often sub-conscious. We may "carry past disappointments on our shirt sleeve" for example -- and/or signal unavailability by "barrier postures" such a crossed arms or withdrawn stance or turning away slightly or looking disinterested.

Some of our characteristics that might not occur to us as "turn-offs" for potential mates might, in reality, loom very large to them. For instance, a woman may think that bubbling conversations about her grandchildren or her pets will enthrall others (not saying that anyone in particular does this). However, that might well end or seriously damage any interest a specific man might have had.

Likewise, talking about her religious beliefs might seem very appropriate – but could drive a wedge between her and the vast majority of men who do not share exactly those beliefs. With tens of thousands of different major religions, denominations, sects, cults – and growing numbers of non-believers, most probably do not have identical worship practices or beliefs.

An emphasis on personal appearance or beauty might seem to be very positive; however, it if appears to be over-emphasized it could be a real turn-off. Fancy hairdos and expensive nails may produce the opposite of expected response.

Again, I am NOT attempting to diagnose anyone's personal situation – but am speaking in general terms as I see things.
 
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steeler_girl is offline steeler_girl Post #39  July 12,2009, 1:38pm
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If you are attracting men that want to be taken care of, it's because you are letting them think you will take care of them. You may not be doing it on a conscious level but you are a caretaker . . . Get over it. If he is over 18, he should be taking care of himself. I highly recommend the book "Why Men Love Bitches". The title is deceiving -- it is not about being agressive or nasty. It is about maintaining your self-respect and his respect for you.
 
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mylifesabeach is offline mylifesabeach Post #40  July 12,2009, 1:42pm
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Nanette wrote :
Quit sympathizing. When a man starts talking to you about his problems, tell him briefly and sweetly that you feel for him and change the subject. An apron strings boy that is looking for a mommie won't put up with this behavior for long, or maybe you will walk away after the first few times that he does this.
This hits the nail right on the head. If you keep on sympathizing you will keep on getting the same type. If you want to be sympathetic be a counselor. Dating is for fun and getting to know one another. Guys that pull out their problems and start trying to pull you in with them are looking for the type of girl that I no longer want to be. That is the girl that is SO understanding blah.

AND she is telling it write when you stop sympathizing they will take a walk
 
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