OMG im in the Divorced catagory!!


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
koolaid is offline koolaid Post #1  July 8,2009, 9:26pm
koolaid's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I have been divorced two years and seperated three. Just realized Im in the "divorced" category. Ok so I was married most of my twenty's and realized recently that I never went on dates. So now Im a thirty something divorce' trying to figure out how to go about this "dating" thing. Which is why I am trying online dating because im having trouble getting anyone to notice me, let alone stryke up a conversation and ask for my phone number. All the bar sceen seams a bit shallow and superficial. And really young, or really old. So was wondering if anyone would like to talk about what it's like to find yourself in this Place......
 
  Reply With Quote
txbubba is offline txbubba Post #2  July 9,2009, 6:58am

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

30.11°N 94.16°W

Posts: 453

See profile

denial is a terrible thing to waste
 
  Reply With Quote
40nFABULOUS is offline 40nFABULOUS Post #3  July 9,2009, 7:51am
40nFABULOUS's Avatar

is happy.

Joined: Jul 2009

Maryland

Posts: 2

See profile

Girl I feel for your situation!! I am 40 now and was 37 when I divorced (with 5 kids). A friend gave me the best advice EVER when she said "Fill your life up with GOOD"! So now I exercise, volunteer, and participate in activities that fill up my life. I don't know yet about online dating but I will be OK either way. Good luck!!
 
  Reply With Quote
LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #4  July 9,2009, 8:15am
LavenderField…'s Avatar

is going to play w/RIF in NYC!

Community Leader Alum

Joined: Dec 2008

Lalaland

Posts: 1,076

See profile

Welcome to the boards Koolaid,

Believe it or not many many people online dating are divorced. Check out so many threads one last one was about "wasting" time and many people commented how they were married 10-20 years (since they were teens almost it seemed) and now they are back to dating.

Think about it, you know yourself more, you won't do the same mistakes, you are willing to work on a relationship more than probably those younger than you.

Of course nothing is easy and even if you have dated for years it really doesn't get any easier, you just get more experienced

Lav
 
  Reply With Quote
coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #5  July 9,2009, 8:40am
coffeegeek's Avatar

You just can't be nice to some people ...

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 1,045

See profile

I don't get it, you're divorced, not a Martian. You're not any different than anyone else here. Just smile, be friendly, and chat. There's nothing overly special about it compared to hanging out with friends, except when you find the right one, you click and you just know it. After that, instinct should kick in
 
  Reply With Quote
becomingsabrina is offline becomingsabrina Post #6  July 9,2009, 8:47am
becomingsabri…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

georgia

Posts: 16

See profile

Hi koolaid,
I'm 39 and in the same situation. After a few years of being on my own I've found what works for me and keeps me sane.

#1 Relax... and remember that being "attached/married" is not the most important thing in this life. Most men and women in relationships I see these days seem like "flies on the screen door". Those that are out want in and those that are in want out. Who would want to rush right back into that?????

#2 work on making your own life as fun and exciting as possible by trying new things, meeting new people, expanding your horizons, new hobbies.

#3 concentrate on building up the other non-sexual-love relationships in your life(ie..siblings, friends, children, parents, grandparents..etc). It's a wonderful outlet for your caregiving/nurturing side.

#4. Be assertive...if you see someone that you like, take the initiative. Have confidence in yourself and reach out to them. Most people spend their lives jailed by their own cynicism, fears and doubts. Dont let that happen to you...remain open...and try

#5 remember..it's your life, to do with what YOU will. Not your life to sit around and wait on Mr. MakeMyLifeRightforme!!!

justmy2centsworth
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  July 9,2009, 8:56am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Koolaid I am not sure what information you are seeking. Except for those on here in their early 20s have been married and divorced and are again seeking to date and I presume that if they are on eHarmony build a long term relationship. While I have heard many say that dating has changed since when they last dated, I don't think that it really has (though I really don't know). The basic goals are to meet people, have fun and get to know each other.

You say that you are new to dating and don't understand how to go about it because of lack of experience. You have the same amount of experience as any of the rest of us. You also have something that some of us don't have, youth and beauty.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; July 9,2009 at 8:58am.
 
  Reply With Quote
koolaid is offline koolaid Post #8  July 9,2009, 9:52am
koolaid's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

Well thats the thing, Im not sure I would ever want to get married again. Way too soon for that line of thinking. But a campanion would be nice. Just wondered if any other divorced women/ men felt like you were walking around with this big Note on your forehead."Ignore me"! Strangers don't actually know Im a divorced woman in my thirty's, but it feels like im putting off a vibe.
 
  Reply With Quote
coffeegeek is offline coffeegeek Post #9  July 9,2009, 10:15am
coffeegeek's Avatar

You just can't be nice to some people ...

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 1,045

See profile

koolaid wrote :
Well thats the thing, Im not sure I would ever want to get married again. Way too soon for that line of thinking. But a campanion would be nice. Just wondered if any other divorced women/ men felt like you were walking around with this big Note on your forehead."Ignore me"! Strangers don't actually know Im a divorced woman in my thirty's, but it feels like im putting off a vibe.
I'm guessing it's mostly in your own head. You think there's something wrong with you, so people pick up on that. If you feel good about yourself and are just a tiny bit outgoing or assertive, I bet you'd see a lot of reactions change
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #10  July 9,2009, 10:42am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

There are some guys turned off by the divorce factor. Frankly doesn't bother me. So she got married, it didn't work, and so she is looking to date again.

As for as not wanting to get married again, I certainly understand. I honestly think that I would want to be with someone for 2-3 years before I ever proposed. Perhaps even longer.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« has anyone done a 180 on you | Dating | Just shaking my head in confusion about the guys who have contacted me. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Married, Divorced and Separated Rebound? betrumka Relationships 13 September 6,2009 1:07am
Divorced and unemployed Atlguy38 Ask a Dating Expert 13 July 8,2009 6:39pm
when to disclose divorced w child dating Pureenergy Ask a Dating Expert 3 June 28,2009 2:48am
Dating Divorced Women ScorpOH Relationships 73 June 19,2009 8:48am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Most anyone has been there I imagine. My advice is: don't over think it, it's all a numbers game (more for some than others), focus on your happiness/life, and work on your market value.” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Very discouraged.” discussion

“ I figured it had something to do with that "hair gel" that Cameron Diaz was using in the movie "There's Something About Mary"...” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“I used to do this in my youth. A couple relevant factors likely were that I broke up with them, they would have liked to re-engage and I had poor boundaries--desperately wanting to stay friends. ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion

“ You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't tried it. If you do, please let us know how things go. . Lol!! Why don't you try it first ... ” –  EccentricAmbiguity

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“Trust your gut feelings! It seems to me his friend does not have a sense of boundaries and it seems that your boyfriend is doing nothing to discourage his constant annoying interference in your ... ” –  elliechris

Join the “When is friendship a problem” discussion

“Lol yeah I do hope so. Thanks again! ” –  elyone

Join the “Profile Review please 25/F” discussion

“Jenky & PSG, you two are so great! I'm loving following your story! I admire you both for being brave enough to try this. LDRs are hard no matter how you look at it. It requires a significant ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “My Virtual Relationship or The five day first date” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:45am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0