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Mayne Mayne is offline
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DeliBebek wrote :
I'm kind of new to this site, but I've been hanging around some of the cheaper sites for a few weeks and I can agree there are some strange people out there. I can tell by the trepidation that women have to any advances. I'm personally trying to learn to be a little more forward. At my pace, I would be in Guided Communication for 6 months. Others are in some hurry to satisfy whatever need they're here to satisfy, so they don't follow basic social guidelines for a conversation with a stranger.

In other words, I have to agree with the women on this. It isn't just men-bashing, it's horny creep-bashing. God, I hope there's a difference.

Guys have it tough because they're supposed to be the initiator all the time. There are countless other threads on here of women complaining that the guy has not made the next move of asking her out. So the guy is either a "creep/stalker" or "shy loser/wimp"...
- July 9th, 2009, 10:11 pm
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all_seasons all_seasons is offline
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Holy Bejeesus! (AS quietly begins to deconstruct his fertility totem poles...)
- July 9th, 2009, 10:41 pm
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6dle899 6dle899 is offline
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6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

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stevex wrote :
I am not sure how being obsessed with totem poles makes the guy a "creepy" guy.
When there are FIVE of them, as he said, and they are "FERTILITY" totem poles and all facing his BED, yeah then the guy is "creepy" beyond belief.


Good grief. The idea of it makes the hair on my head stand up.


Pegs the creep- o - meeter to the end of the scale. that is scary stuff.
- July 10th, 2009, 12:38 am
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winn winn is offline
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winn dinner and conversation with good friends is a good thing.

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Harvey7 wrote :
I would think that this is not the right site for you or you have not grown very much and tainting yourself with your own poison pen that your attracting the kind of guys that your trying to get away from.
Maybe fantasize a bit and see if you can attract your fantasy guy?
Maybe the current you is a turn off? Actions speak louder then words and you see the results of your words?

Harvey7.
Okay, Harvey, you are just so off the wall here. I appreciate your bluntness but not when you blast someone with no positive proof of what you are saying. I think you need to get your foot out of your mouth.
Last edited by winn; July 10th, 2009 at 03:52 am. Reason: Cause it needed to be said.
- July 10th, 2009, 03:51 am
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winn winn is offline
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winn dinner and conversation with good friends is a good thing.

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DennisWisconsin wrote :
These women should marry other women... they have so much in common... like men bashing...
Have I just entered the twilight zone? What happened to thinking before speaking? This has nothing to do with bashing anyone.
- July 10th, 2009, 03:54 am
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winn winn is offline
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winn dinner and conversation with good friends is a good thing.

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Mayne wrote :
Guys have it tough because they're supposed to be the initiator all the time. There are countless other threads on here of women complaining that the guy has not made the next move of asking her out. So the guy is either a "creep/stalker" or "shy loser/wimp"...
The mini violins are playing for you right now. Dating is tough all the way around. Having gone on several dates with someone, I decided to wait patiently for him to call me again at his convenience. Not wanting to be a nag, yes, I waited for the guy to make the next move. However, I'm not afraid to take a step myself. there is such thing as courtesy. This does not make men or women always "creep/stalkers nor "shy loser/wimps". Develop some backbone and quit pointing fingers. We are all human beings who need respect, value and love. It's not us against them.
- July 10th, 2009, 04:00 am
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Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
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Some of these guys have been on so many dating sites for so long they have a certain routine... #1) give out phone/email ASAP, and to EVERYONE, because they are trolling with a very wide net. #2) Thinking they are clever at "what women want", they always say "long term" and hinting marriage etc. ,they think, it will get you into bed faster than.. "hey, I'm just shopping around for an easy time"....That's why it sounds so ridiculous to bring up long term or marriage ,commitment, etc...Before you even meet someone???.
butterflywhisperer wrote :
I really don't know what to make of it. I've been out of the dating world for quite a long time, well, not THAT long but still long enough.

The first 'match' sounded like the perfect match for me in terms of our likes, dislikes, interests, etc. I didn't care for his looks but the rest of it sounded really good. Then the creep factor came after four or five e-mail exchanges within e-Harmony. He wanted Open Communication right off and kept giving me his phone number and e-mail address at practically each communication but I told him that I felt more comfortable using eHarmony was a vessel for communication. He didn't push it after that. But then he tells me he has a collection of totem poles, and primitive weaponry and when asked where he keeps it all, he told me that he has five fertility totem polls in his bedroom and facing his bed. That really creeped me out and I told him so. I don't mind collecting interesting things because I do that myself but dang! to go into that much detail to someone he barely knows and he also used a vulgarity which i didn't appreciate either. Am I being too sensitive? Does he sound creepy to anybody else?

The next 'Romeo' started off his e-mail with in-depth questions as well as unfounded assumptions that I didn't provide my real name, when in fact i did. Rather than getting to know each other it seems he is pulling out the tough questions right away and also commenting that when dating he is a one woman man. Like we aren't even dating and this guy is asking questions about what do i think about his relocating after we get married. What say you to that?

And just because I am a Christian and live according to basic Christian life principles, I keep getting paired up with Pastors, either lay or lead. This frustrates me because I am so not the pastor wife type. I am too much of a free spirit and absolutely hate being the center of attention or watched for my manners, etc. Is there any way to put a 'pastor' block on future 'matches' Just because one has a deep commitment to Christianity doesn't necessarily mean they want to be with a pastor. At least not me. Just someone who shares the same beliefs.

your feedback would be greatly appreciated!

butterflywhisperer
- July 10th, 2009, 04:57 am
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eyerishize eyerishize is offline
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Hi Butterfly...

I've gone out with three men met through this site.

The first one showed up at our first date an hour late, never apologized, and then suggested we sit in the bar area so he could "smell the smoke" - this, after his profile said he was a non-smoker. He confessed he was trying to quit and lit up five times before our table was ready.

Off the cuff, and my suggestion: Guys, and gals too -- if you are still smoking even one cigarette, YOU ARE A SMOKER. Please be honest about that in your profiles.

The second date was at a restaurant about an hour from my house. He got there on time, so he gets snaps for that! But -- for a first time dinner date, at a fancy restaurant of his choosing, and where he made the reservatins -- he dressed in a short sleeved un-ironed shirt, jeans and dirty sneakers.

Here's the creepy part - During dinner he said he expects all his dates to STAY OVER AT HIS HOUSE so we "won't have to drive home late at night by ourselves." I said that was out of the question, and then he insisted, saying he makes a "mean breakfast."

Guys - leave the ulterior motives at home and take a first date for exactly what it is - a chance to get to know someone. No, not, KNOW someone...

The third date was a lunch date at Houlihan's very near my home. The light atmosphere and background music was just fine for an afternoon meeting. But the man sat there and didn't order anything but a soda. I asked if he was on a calorie restriction diet, or short on cash or something. He replied he NEVER EATS LUNCH. So I looked him right in the eyes and said, "then why did you suggest a lunch date if you never eat lunch?" He said "I don't know." So I literally sat there eating lunch while he watched.

Well all I can say is, I will keep trying eharmony until I find a better date. Good luck to all of you and keep the faith and humor in your lives...God knows I need it!!!

Best wishes, Eyerishize
- July 10th, 2009, 07:03 am
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nvalentine1977 nvalentine1977 is offline
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I've gotten several hysterically bad date stories out of my time so far with eHa, including one where the first guy I dated for about a month in January just got engaged to someone else in June. While I've not experienced that level of creepiness, I am a little frustrated with the process I suppose. The guys that contact me, I'm not interested in at all and the ones that I am interested in haven't yet responded (I'm talking from like March til now). Any suggestions??
- July 10th, 2009, 07:46 am
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6dle899 6dle899 is offline
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winn wrote :
Okay, Harvey, you are just so off the wall here. I appreciate your bluntness but not when you blast someone with no positive proof of what you are saying. I think you need to get your foot out of your mouth.
Don't feed the troll, winn.........
- July 10th, 2009, 08:13 am
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