Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
Skyking6976's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 162

See profile

Guys have been told one of our flaws is talking way to much on a 1st date about our job, family, etc. What does it mean when a woman talks literally 98% of the date about her family issues, ex's, God, financial struggles, she is wanting to get married...settle down, her two jobs and children? This woman is a pharmacy tech at my grocery store.

I wouldn't even throw this question out but this 39 year old shows up on our second date...same day as our first... in a mini shirt and sexy t-shirt. She is Hispanic and having dated many of them I know sometimes they dress sexy but that doesn't mean they want to be picked up. She is a 8.5 from the neck down and a 6-6.5 from the neck up.

As the date wore on I thought she would be a great FWB but I also wondered if she was "auditioning" for me with the sexy outfit, told me her issues and if I'm game....We did kiss goodnight but I really felt her outfit was for show only last night, so I was a good boy.
- July 8th, 2009, 08:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
islandrain80 islandrain80 is offline
islandrain80's Avatar

islandrain80 has tired feet from chasing and waiting around....

Pacesetter

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 430

See profile

Skyking6976 wrote :
Guys have been told one of our flaws is talking way to much on a 1st date about our job, family, etc. What does it mean when a woman talks literally 98% of the date about her family issues, ex's, God, financial struggles, she is wanting to get married...settle down, her two jobs and children? This woman is a pharmacy tech at my grocery store.
That's some heavy talk for a first date. Personally I've been advised to leave out ex's (during any dates) and personal issues.

I guess it would depend on the details of talking about the future...did it involve you in particular or in general. When it comes to talking about the future, I think that's a good conversation to a point...you do want someone on the same page as you.

Did she give you chances to talk? Did she interrupt you when you did? Did she ask anything about you? If she directed the conversation only about her and not divide it up equally I'd call her selfish.
- July 8th, 2009, 08:45 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
pds857 pds857 is offline
pds857's Avatar

pds857 Dang! The weekend is flyin in at high speeds, get ready for it people! lol

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 542

See profile

Eh!
How about when I'm sittin there struggling to get a convo goin with some fella an all his answers are one worded!
If I was lucky I maybe got a sentence or two, but sheesh its hard work gettin a convo started in person with someone who is being nervous or shy.

Personally, I try to keep it light hearted for the first few dates let who I'm with get a feel for my sense of humor (it can be a lil off the wall sometimes) and I try to get a feel for them, a quick read of their personality an things of that sort.
I know one thing about myself though, I cant stand to go on a date with someone that acts TOO Shy, or Nervous for the enitre date!
I mean I'm gonna be a lil nervous at first but not for the whole date.

Here is a question for ya, did you try to talk to her, kinda break up her monologue? Maybe she told you her life story because she felt like she should be talking about something but didnt feel that you were contributing enough?
Just a thought.
- July 8th, 2009, 09:07 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
stevex stevex is offline
stevex's Avatar

stevex Who doesn't love $5 pitcher night?

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 648

See profile

She can talk about what she wants so long as the eye candy is good.

But seriously, if it bothered you that she was "auditioning" as you put it than don't see her again. If you really think she is a great person despite the fact she is talkative and you enjoyed the overall company than I see no reason not to see her again.
- July 8th, 2009, 09:23 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

Anyone who comes to a first date (or before the relationship has become established) and talks about all the problems in their life is bringing baggage that they should have checked at the door.

I am thinking I won't be asking for a second date (certainly not a third if it continued on the second date).
- July 8th, 2009, 09:31 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

stevex wrote :
She can talk about what she wants so long as the eye candy is good.

But seriously, if it bothered you that she was "auditioning" as you put it than don't see her again. If you really think she is a great person despite the fact she is talkative and you enjoyed the overall company than I see no reason not to see her again.
Oh I thought the thread was about talking about all her problems.

Mini skirt (assuming she has the legs for it) = good. Sexy T-shirt (assuming that she has the body for that) = good. Commando = 1000 bonus points
- July 8th, 2009, 09:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
Skyking6976's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 162

See profile

pds857, that is a good point. However, I'm not the least bit shy. Part of my business is aircraft sales. I can be witty, serious, reflective or sexy, whatever I think is appropriate. As a guy and having read all the comments here, I just let her say what she had to say...all I could get in was a, "gee that must have been tough" or "you're an amazing woman to come through all that and have such a beautiful smile and to be so happy." That was fine with me.

So no, she didn't have to talk to fill empty space...trust me. I was a lawyer in a previous life and can talk and entertain people in conversation without saying anything and people won't realize it at the time. She did ask about my goals kinda...do you want to settle down....where do you want to live and by that point I said what she wanted to hear without saying anything cause all her stories kinda freaked me out.

She sent me a text when I got home last night around 1, saying she enjoying every moment of our time together...wants to see me again. We went back and forth a few times, nothing sexual just sweet things...
- July 8th, 2009, 09:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
pamcam pamcam is offline
pamcam's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 222

See profile

I think you handled it well; your responses to her were empathetic, compassionate, and demonstrated that you listened to her and you showed her that you were interested.

Question: Is a FWB what you want? Is this what you yourself have to bring and offer? Not judging; it's OK to want what we want, as long as we are honest and direct about it.

I guess I found it odd in that you seem like a respectful person. I wouldn't want to be that nor would I want one, not at this stage.

My question is: is this the kind of "relationship" you really want?

BTW, I'm from El Paso, and "get" what you're saying.

Oh yeah, do you ever go to the Havana? Loved it.
Last edited by pamcam; July 8th, 2009 at 10:05 am.
- July 8th, 2009, 09:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
Skyking6976's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 162

See profile

Well, at first I saw her as very cute, happy and a good personality. Then I heard about all this drama and stuff for 3 1\2 hours I thought maybe she could be someone I could show a good time and take her away from all that a night or two a week...and I don't have to hear about that stuff every day like a boyfriend or whatever.

I have to laugh and think a lot of women have all that going on in their life they just don't tell you about it all at once. Kinda felt like she was just getting it out of the way right up front, maybe she wanted to develop a closeness by sharing. She also told me about guys she has dated who told her they loved her on the second date, etc...like she was a real catch or she has dated loony guys. But all this is coming from my perspective as a man.
- July 8th, 2009, 10:28 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
j0hn8andy's Avatar

j0hn8andy .....Take off the Rings.....That's the Goal.....

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 941

See profile

Some people love to talk. And talk. And talk.

Years ago I knew someone who could carry on a whole conversation all by himself! He could talk till your jaw was slack & your eyes glazed over! He used to say "You can tell me to shut up anytime" but of course, he never did.

He's probably still talking...
- July 8th, 2009, 10:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 Last »

Bookmarks

« I supposedly have what he wants BUT...... | Array | Facial Hair. WHY GUYS??? WHY? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18th, 2009 10:50 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ He knows the abuse wasn't sexual, and he knows I am not gay or bisexual.” – charity8987

Join the “Argh, screwed up with new guy.” discussion

“my dream color is medium red brown with auburn tones” – jtwark

Join the “L'Oréal's 'Find Your Fall Hair Color' Sweepstakes!” discussion

“all, or most of my matches lately have been people that never reply to the first step of communication or their profile says to contact them on facebook. it seems to me that these profiles are people ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “matches dont respond/their profile says contact them on face book” discussion

“sounds like things are going great! i'd suggest that you just keep doing whatever it is you are doing. and don't sweat the little things.” – notyet

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“"Billed in one installment of $239.40" means, "Billed once for $239.40." Pardon me for saying this, but if I had less than $40 in my bank account, buying an eHarmony subscription will be the least ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “eHarmony payment plans” discussion

“ Call them!” – Coca-Cola

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“Darn..is that it..the first sign of awkwardness and kapowie/ shoot the relationship down.Here we haver 2 introverts without, apparently, heaps of experience, looking not for a way to end it, but for ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “what to do... second guessing myself” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:58 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0