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wordwoman wordwoman is offline
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wordwoman is in contemplation

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This entire discussion just reaffirm my standards when it comes to sex. Each partner is tested for a range of STD/Is before we hit the sheets. We wait for the results. Then condoms are a must until a second set of tests six months later.

For the men who don't agree to my standard, well it's bye-bye; a "no" is a dealbreaker.

For the men who do agree, I'm told I'm the first woman to insist on the tests, which is sad, for more than one man has found out he had something he didn't think he had, while swearing he practiced safe sex. Uh-huh. Well, maybe he did, but his partner didn't, or maybe it was a couple of partners before their thing.

As for the OP: I admire the lady for telling you, for she could have kept her mouth shut and others probably have. And, your decision was yours to make, no need to string the lady along if her situation was beyond what you want to deal with.

But your suggestion that the lady seek STD-dating sites was beyond the pale, totally uncool and unnecessarily unkind. A true gentleman would have departed without supplying the backhanded advice; it was a cheap shot.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:07 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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bluejeanz01 wrote :
An igg test will give a pretty accurate time frame of when the outbreak began. Also depending on the type of viruses tested for and examination by a physician will determine the type and areas of the body affected and the best possible treatment.
Whoever told you that is wrong. The igg test (blood test) tells you whether you have the antibodies. Unless you have an active sore to culture, you cannot tell WHERE you've had the virus, nor can you tell when you got it. Treatment is the same for HS-1 & HS-2.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:10 pm
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EHScreenName EHScreenName is offline
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We agree, knowledge is power But here's what I'm trying to correct, you wrote:

"The blood test tells whether you have antibodies to the virus. It does NOT tell what part of your body was infected with the virus or when."

The tests do distinguish between "what part of your body" because that is the general difference between type I and type II. Not 100% of the time but generally. Here's an exerpt from info available online (my italics, not my bolding):

The primary difference between the two types is their “site of preference” when establishing latency in the body. HSV 1 usually establishes latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells found near the ears. Recurring outbreaks will generally occur around the mouth or facial region. HSV 2 usually establishes latency in the sacral ganglion, a collection of nerves found at the lower base of the spine. HSV-2 recurring outbreaks will generally occur in the genital region.

Though this is the most commonly noted difference, it is not absolute. Either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect orally and/or genitally. Unfortunately, many are unaware of this and this lack of knowledge contributes to the ongoing spread and to the growing number of type 1 genital cases.

Common myths give indication that HSV 1 causes a mild infection that is at times bothersome, but never dangerous. The reality is that type 1 is usually very mild when affecting the lips, face or genitals. There has been speculation that type 1 can occur spontantiously in the eye “ocular herpes” however, herpes never occurs spontaneously, it has to come from somewhere - either moving along the trigeminal nerve top branch or autoinoculation. Ocular herpes can be very serious and could potentially lead to blindness. In some very rare cases, herpes has spread to the brain causing herpes encephalitis, an extremely dangerous infection that can result in death.

HSV 2 is the most common cause of neonatal herpes, a rare but often dangerous and potentially fatal condition that affects newborns. HSV 1 is the primary cause of one third of neonatal infections.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:14 pm
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Mayne Mayne is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Whoever told you that is wrong. The igg test (blood test) tells you whether you have the antibodies. Unless you have an active sore to culture, you cannot tell WHERE you've had the virus, nor can you tell when you got it. Treatment is the same for HS-1 & HS-2.

All about tests.

http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/herpes-tests
- July 7th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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Mayne, here's the excerpt from your link about testing, which confirms what I said earlier, the tests can differentiate between HSVI and HSV II (my italics and bold):

Antibody tests. Blood tests can find antibodies that are made by the immune system to fight a herpes infection. Antibody tests are occasionally done but are not as accurate as a viral culture at finding the cause of a specific sore or ulcer. Antibody tests cannot tell the difference between a current active herpes infection and a herpes infection that occurred in the past. Because antibodies take time to develop after the first infection, you may not have a positive antibody test if you have just recently been infected. Some blood tests can tell the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2
- July 7th, 2009, 08:19 pm
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STD's are a major turn off...and providing her with a dating site for people who already have this diease was the right thing to do..that's what I would have done..most men wouldn't have done that ...thank god she told you in advance..
- July 7th, 2009, 08:24 pm
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Mayne Mayne is offline
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Zev wrote :
I'm oddly amused that, in general, people find it perfectly commonplace to see a nasty ol' cold sore on someone's mouth but get squeamish when the same virus is located in more private parts.

And, going by the sheer number of people who don't know they have it, it seems that the symptoms themselves are a lot ickier on the face than elsewhere.

It's not a deal breaker with me, but then I don't need sex on a daily basis. I would prefer to get to know the person before tossing them out because of this.

Why do you find it amusing? Do you think there's anyone on this planet who wouldn't trade their genital herpes for cold sores?
- July 7th, 2009, 08:25 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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Responding to "EHScreenName," Because posting the whole article will bore people to tears, I will post this:

Herpes HSV-1 & HSV-2

Excerpt:
"People don't understand that you can have type 1 genitally or orally, that the two types are essentially the same virus,' says Marshall Clover, manager of the National Herpes Hotline." One type is associated with stigma, the other is "'just a cold sore"- our society has a euphemism for it so we don't even have to acknowledge that it's herpes.''

With o r a l s e x more and more prevalent in society, the distinction between the two viruses is fading away.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:25 pm
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EHScreenName EHScreenName is offline
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WW, thanks for the link however it's beside the point... since how it's being spread or the "fading distinction" were not in question here on the boards. I was clarying the extent of info available through the blood tests and that they can differentiate between the types.
Last edited by EHScreenName; July 7th, 2009 at 08:39 pm.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:30 pm
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AustinShaguar AustinShaguar is offline
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So the OP has preference to not date women with STDs. What's the big deal. It doesn't mean he's evil. Some of you shouldn't be so quick to jump down his throat. I'm positive some of you would not date a fat chick or one who is scarred from acne. Considering fat and acne aren't contagious me thinks thou doth protest too much. Puh-lez, some of you get off your high horse. I wonder what deal breakers you have and how they pale in comparison to someone with STDs.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:39 pm
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Dating advice message board This thread Refback October 6th, 2009 12:57 pm
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