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bluejeanz01 wrote :
Ever had chicken pox or had an elderly family member with shingles? Then you have been exposed to herpes. More than likely you are also carrying antibodies to the virus


Chicken Pox and Shingles are categorized as Sexually Transmitted Diseases?
- July 7th, 2009, 06:55 pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
By the way.... if you go to your doctor and say you "want to be tested for STDs," they will generally NOT test for herpes. You have to specifically ask for that test. Most people do not know this.

If you've EVER had a cold sore, you will test positive on a blood test for herpes. The only way to test for certain for genital herpes is to have a culture done while having a suspected herpes blister. The symptoms can go undetected for years and can easily be mistaken for other conditions.

Again, the variety of the virus, HS-1 or HS-2, means little. You can have either one in either place. There are multiple forms of the virus just like there are multiple forms of cold and flu viruses.
I beg to differ with your comment on HSV2. Blood test is the routine for testing. Results I would estimate are 98 to 99% accurate. A culture may be done if a patient suddenly had an outbreak and went to a physician for these undiagnosed symptoms. As for having an STD, you are morally obligated to tell your partner and in most states legally obligated depending on the STD that you are carrying.
- July 7th, 2009, 07:05 pm
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bluejeanz01 wrote :
I beg to differ with your comment on HSV2. Blood test is the routine for testing. Results I would estimate are 98 to 99% accurate. A culture may be done if a patient suddenly had an outbreak and went to a physician for these undiagnosed symptoms. As for having an STD, you are morally obligated to tell your partner and in most states legally obligated depending on the STD that you are carrying.
You "beg to differ" about my comment on HS-2. What are you differing on? It produces the same symptoms, etc. as HS-1. Blood test is NOT routine for STD testing unless specifically asked for. The results are accurate, but only to show that you have had an outbreak of herpes at some point in your life... not WHERE the outbreak took place (lips or down below).
- July 7th, 2009, 07:09 pm
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treeye wrote :
I second op. I don't have any stds and I don't want to date anyone that has.

so my plan is before I get intimate with anyone after we're exclusive. we'll go to check out in hospital first. suppose he's not sleep with anyone else or has contracted stds within six months, the plan will work out well, right? I'm not very knowledgable of stds.
Wait a second... if you've never been tested before, how do you know that you don't have any STDs?
- July 7th, 2009, 07:27 pm
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I'm oddly amused that, in general, people find it perfectly commonplace to see a nasty ol' cold sore on someone's mouth but get squeamish when the same virus is located in more private parts.

And, going by the sheer number of people who don't know they have it, it seems that the symptoms themselves are a lot ickier on the face than elsewhere.

It's not a deal breaker with me, but then I don't need sex on a daily basis. I would prefer to get to know the person before tossing them out because of this.
- July 7th, 2009, 07:43 pm
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Sorry WW, but that is inaccurate information. The blood tests used for herpes can distinguish between type I and type II, and can even indicate whether you have antibodies from exposure or the virus in either case. How do I know this? Because I take these tests, along with all the others, as part of my annual check up. If your Dr won't provide them, find one who will.

I agree with the OP and am surprised at the hostility in some of the replies. In my experience, the ones who argue the loudest that it's "no big deal" are those infected. Wouldn't you turn back the hands of time and avoid catching it if you could? Or see your Dr right away for the cure, if one was created? And yet you'd begrudge those of us who seek to avoid it in the first place. One comment seemed to indicate that just because someone "accidentally" cathes an STD, you should not hold it against them. How is that possibly relevant to assessing the risk to my health? Did you know that herpes can be spread to your eyes and potentially cause blindness? Did you know that it can complicate delivery for pregnant women? Gee, where do I sign up.

And to the question about how to weed out those with incurable STDs, I believe the commonly understood method is to indicate "D&D free" with the other desired qualities you're seeking. And then you have the talk (and if necessary the tests) before becoming intimate. As someone once told me, if you're not capable of taking responsibility for yourself and your health, you're not mature enough to be sexually active. So there ya have it, my 2 cents.
Last edited by EHScreenName; July 7th, 2009 at 08:04 pm.
- July 7th, 2009, 07:47 pm
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robv_la wrote :
It is completely understandable if some singles don't want to date people with incurable STD's. Even with precautions, you can still catch many STD's.

The OP didn't judge the match for the STD's, he just made it clear it was a dealbreaker for him. And he suggested a dating site for people with STD's. I don't think this is out of line. Apparently, the girl was getting matches that wouldn't get past her having an STD. So telling her about a dating site where this wouldn't be such an issue seems fine.

This is not simply a matter of personal perference, he's also trying to protect his health.
I am with my man, Rob on this. Good post, Rob!
- July 7th, 2009, 07:48 pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
You "beg to differ" about my comment on HS-2. What are you differing on? It produces the same symptoms, etc. as HS-1. Blood test is NOT routine for STD testing unless specifically asked for. The results are accurate, but only to show that you have had an outbreak of herpes at some point in your life... not WHERE the outbreak took place (lips or down below).
An igg test will give a pretty accurate time frame of when the outbreak began. Also depending on the type of viruses tested for and examination by a physician will determine the type and areas of the body affected and the best possible treatment.
- July 7th, 2009, 07:57 pm
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EHScreenName wrote :
Sorry WW, but that is inaccurate information. The blood tests used for herpes can distinguish between type I and type II, and can even indicate whether you have antibodies from exposure or the virus in either case. How do I know this? Because I take these tests, along with all the others, as part of my annual check up. If your Dr won't provide them, find one who will.
I don't disagree with that at all! That is correct info, and I have not said anything contrary to that. If you're getting that test, you've specifically asked for it. The vast majority of doctors when asked to run tests for STDs do NOT include a blood test for herpes unless specifically asked because if you've EVER had a cold sore it will be positive... and cold sores are so common they don't bother. I have dated doctors and they've told me so.

The blood test tells whether you have antibodies to the virus. It does NOT tell what part of your body was infected with the virus or when.

What I said, is it does not matter whether you have HS-1 or HS-2... you can get either one in either place. Some people seem to think it is a big deal whether they have one vs the other... but it makes no difference.

I am merely trying to educate. Knowledge is power. There is no hostility to anyone here... just perhaps a hostility to ignorance.
- July 7th, 2009, 08:03 pm
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All about testing:

Herpes Tests
- July 7th, 2009, 08:05 pm
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LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/26728-nice-but-im-not-into-incurable-stds.html
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Dating advice message board This thread Refback October 6th, 2009 12:57 pm
Eharmony thread on dating people with "Incurable STDS" - Herpes & Cold Sore Support Forum This thread Refback July 17th, 2009 08:29 am
Eharmony thread on dating people with "Incurable STDS" - Herpes & Cold Sore Support Forum This thread Refback July 16th, 2009 02:03 pm
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Eharmony thread on dating people with "Incurable STDS" - Herpes & Cold Sore Support Forum This thread Refback July 15th, 2009 09:31 pm
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