Date #2 tomorrow, he called, but I never gave him my number!


Reply
  • Page 3 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #21  July 10,2009, 8:12am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,209

See profile

txbubba wrote :
apparently a lot of people on eha thinks its ok to google their matches and dig up info on them under the guise of 'safety'. i disagree. if you don't trust someone on here, then don't go out with them.

there are lots of places on the internet you can go to get info on people. a lot of them are public and government sites and a lot of them are sites where you pay an organization to do the detective work for you.
Have to second you on this one. Even if the information is available I don't think it's ok to go dig things up. Also, if someone does not give you a phone number, by that they are also not giving you permission to call. If you go ahead and dig up the number uninvited and call, that is crossing a boundary that should not be crossed and there is nothing positive about it. I'm a little surprised by the number of posts on here who think this is fine.
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #22  July 10,2009, 8:14am
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

txbubba wrote :
apparently a lot of people on eha thinks its ok to google their matches and dig up info on them under the guise of 'safety'. i disagree. if you don't trust someone on here, then don't go out with them.

there are lots of places on the internet you can go to get info on people. a lot of them are public and government sites and a lot of them are sites where you pay an organization to do the detective work for you.
Ditto that!
 
  Reply With Quote
SouthernChristian is offline SouthernChristian Post #23  July 10,2009, 8:26am
SouthernChris…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2008

North Carolina

Posts: 69

See profile

I don't think it's ok to call someone who hasn't given you his number, but if I had agreed to go on a first date with him I would have wanted to talk on the phone prior to going.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #24  July 10,2009, 8:50am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

Eh, he wanted to do something nice (i.e. leave you the welcome home message) for whatever reason you hadn't given him your number, he found it (by whatever means), left you a nice message. Nothing creepy and certainly nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the second date.
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #25  July 10,2009, 9:33am
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

inn wrote :
I met someone on-line a few weeks ago, we corresponded a few times and then met at a restaurant. We had a pleasant 4 hours and dinner was great.
I've been traveling a bit, so I've been in and out of the country a couple of times. He's emailed now and then. Before my last businesss trip he had asked for date #2. So, we're having date #2 on the 4th of July. It's all been set prior to me leaving, dinner at his place.
My question is, is that I've just returned back to the US yesterday, and today he called and left a message. The thing is, I never gave him my number.
Is this something I should be concerned about? I've checked him out and know people that used to work with him. So, from that point of view he's ok.
Need your advice please. Thanks!
This is scary... and borders on arrogant and rude. I would be concerned and back out of this one. He sounds like a man that feels it is okay to not only snoop on you, but also has a deep 'sense of entitlement' (narcissistic comes to mind)...and feels this is appropriate behavior...behavior that you should and will accept.

BTW: I am speaking from experience and actually wound up in a nine month relationship with a man like this. He called me one night after we had been communicating via e-mail and phone for about a month. I answered the phone and he says "Hi...guess where I am?" Yes....he was parked outside of my house, smiling from ear to ear and as charming as ever. I was younger and less dating/man savvy than I am now, and was flattered that he took the time to track me down. That night began a relationship with a megalomanic, controlling, sexist man ..one that was very difficult to get out of. I found out he was nothing like what he projected during the GTKY stage...what a master manipulator!

I'm not saying your 'friend' is like this at all. Just want you to trust your instincts...I would be very wary of a man like this!

Wish you well.....
Last edited by legend29; July 10,2009 at 9:38am.
 
  Reply With Quote
theweave is offline theweave Post #26  July 11,2009, 8:31pm
theweave's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2008

Posts: 283

See profile

I had a first date with a match (who did turn into a relationship) and wanted to send her something. I didn't have address but had her phone number so I did a reverse lookup and got her address and sent her teddy bear. I told her nothing about it coming and she phoned me the next night, I answered and she was like "How in the hell did you find me?" I told her "internet lookup", she was like OH! She loved it and we had six months together!

If you are still feeling good about him, than respect how sweet he is and go for it!

Good Luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #27  July 11,2009, 9:11pm
neardc's Avatar

Kumbaya, people!

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Near DC (duh!)

Posts: 7,740

See profile

txbubba wrote :
apparently a lot of people on eha thinks its ok to google their matches and dig up info on them under the guise of 'safety'. i disagree. if you don't trust someone on here, then don't go out with them.
As does eHarmony! From "Dr. Warren's Message":

Dr. Warren wrote :
It is important to note that eHarmony does not perform background checks on its members. It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the total honesty of our members when filling out the eHarmony relationship questionnaire to supply us with honest feedback such as Date of Birth, Marital Status, City and State of Residence, Occupation, Education Background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.
Whether people "agree" with it or not, it is something that eH actively encourages people to do as part of the process... Personally, I can't imagine going out with a stranger (and that's what your eH matches are) without checking them out in some way first.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 3 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Dating Veteran Advice Needed | Dating | Do people actually get dates with strangers? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Does length of date indicate quality of date? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 37 November 21,2010 5:14pm
My date yesterday-Not exactly the best! christianlife Dating 40 October 26,2009 7:31pm
Third date in three months... Questions MQRegan Dating 42 September 10,2009 4:28pm
Do I go on the date or trust my gut? Seriousminded 40 plus singles 18 September 5,2009 8:44pm
To Date or Not To Date 4ever29 Relationships 2 May 18,2009 9:50am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:31am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0