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ZisaGirl ZisaGirl is offline
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Have been in OC with a guy for a while now. Lives very close to me, and seems like a great guy, so I'm trying to be patient, but confused as to why he hasn't made any steps towards talking on the phone or meeting.

We've been in OC for one month, trading emails daily (he writes one day, I respond the next, he responds the next, etc.). Very nice emails, lots of great information, but I'd like to meet him, as I feel that sometimes, too much communication is just...too much.

He frequently writes that he looks very forward to my emails, and has written that he feels we are very compatible from all he knows so far. But hasn't made any more steps towards an actualy F2F meeting.

Any suggestions? Should I do (or write) anything? Or should I continue to be patient? I don't feel he's just biding his time with me, but I am a bit confused.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:42 pm
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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I was in the same boat as you for longer than a month, except we didn't live nearby. I would be direct; either you each take the next step together or move on.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:46 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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I think you may as well ask him out directly, or indicate you are ready to meet.

A month of delay would make me uncomfortable – that he is not actually single.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:48 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I think you may as well ask him out directly, or indicate you are ready to meet.

A month of delay would make me uncomfortable – that he is not actually single.
I don't see this because he is responding every other day. But of course I could be wrong.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:58 pm
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I think you may as well ask him out directly, or indicate you are ready to meet.

A month of delay would make me uncomfortable – that he is not actually single.



That's what I was wondering...
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:58 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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I agree with the others, just ask him out. He will show what is intentions are by his actions.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:59 pm
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When_I_See_You_Smile When_I_See_You_Smile is offline
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Ask him out already!
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:09 pm
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Emmma Emmma is offline
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How close does he live to you???
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:20 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
I think you may as well ask him out directly, or indicate you are ready to meet.

A month of delay would make me uncomfortable – that he is not actually single.
Completely agreed on the first statement.

Not so sure about the second. Reasons may vary and there may be other possibilities. Talking honestly is always better than not.
- July 3rd, 2009, 09:26 pm
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ZisaGirl ZisaGirl is offline
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Thanks for all the replies!

I don't think he's married, I just think he's terribly shy.

He lives less than 15 minutes from me. We live in a very large city, where matches can live over an hour away. So, finding someone you can click with, who lives so close, is a nice thing.

One thing: a couple of weeks ago, I halted our communication, telling him I was going on vacation (truth), and that I was just going to be too busy to keep up regular communication. He wrote me back immediately, asking me to reconsider, telling me that from what he knew so far, he felt we were really compatible, and that he'd be ok with irregular communication for now.

A week later, when I returned from vaca, I wrote him back, but that's been 2 weeks. Since then, it's one email/day for each of us (still on eh's site, not on personal email).

Is he so terribly shy that I need to nudge him along to get together? We've both written a million things that we enjoy doing in our city; should I suggest we do one of those?

How do I do this so I don't scare him away? Or do I just keep writing, patiently?

Thanks for all your help!
Last edited by ZisaGirl; July 4th, 2009 at 08:25 am. Reason: grammar
- July 4th, 2009, 08:24 am
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