Do men just want women who need to be rescued?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is offline DIVINE_DESIGNS7 Post #1  July 2,2009, 9:17pm
DIVINE_DESIGN…'s Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

McAlester, Oklahoma

Posts: 31

See profile

I would want a man with his stuff together as an equal just as I am. Do men only want women that need to be rescued emotionally and financially, like they need to be fixed? That is so not who I am. Being independent and not just needy is a good thing in my mind. I know men need to feel needed but to what extent? In my common sense thinking, I would imagine a man would want an independent woman that works hard as I do. Another thing is that I always felt that its a plus that I don't have kids. Do men prefer women with kids?
 
  Reply With Quote
kimberlynicole27 is offline kimberlynicole27 Post #2  July 2,2009, 9:36pm
kimberlynicol…'s Avatar

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

I think it just depends on the guy. Yes, in general, men are fixers. They need tasks. They need to be needed. But, to what extent... depends on who he is. I would think a majority of men want a women with their s**t together. Independent like you said. And good for you for being that kind of girl. Someone's who's strong, focused, and well-rounded. Maybe it's the kind of guys you're naturally (subconsciously) attracted to.. the fixers? And if it is that way, then that's when we do the soul-searching lol. 'What is it about me that I'm attracting these particular guys....?' If that answers your question And the kids thing... I think it's the same... depends on the guy.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  July 2,2009, 9:51pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,842

See profile

DIVINE_DESIGNS7 wrote :
I would want a man with his stuff together as an equal just as I am. Do men only want women that need to be rescued emotionally and financially, like they need to be fixed? That is so not who I am. Being independent and not just needy is a good thing in my mind. I know men need to feel needed but to what extent? In my common sense thinking, I would imagine a man would want an independent woman that works hard as I do. Another thing is that I always felt that its a plus that I don't have kids. Do men prefer women with kids?
I don't want to rescue a woman. At my age I would prefer a girl that who does not have children living at home.
 
  Reply With Quote
simpletonHeart70 is offline simpletonHeart70 Post #4  July 2,2009, 9:56pm
simpletonHear…'s Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2009

United States

Posts: 801

See profile

I think there are some emotions that tie men to women whom need help. I dont think men necessarily go looking for the woman in distress. And typically the women that turn out to be head cases that need constant "saving" become too burdensome and men try to dump them just to get away.

It's hard to explain but I do think it's in men's natural makeup to take care of a woman. And there's a strong emotional bond that forms when a man does that. It's kind of twisted, especially when women take advantage of it and ride that poor boy for all he's worth.

As for women with kids, I would guess the majority of men would prefer not to deal with another man's children.
 
  Reply With Quote
GreatGuy38 is offline GreatGuy38 Post #5  July 2,2009, 11:15pm

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Utah

Posts: 82

See profile

While I can only speak for myself, I’m much more attracted to an independent woman. If a woman has children, for me, it is important that she has taken the time to establish herself to a point where she doesn’t need a man, but is interested in being in a relationship which compliments her lifestyle. As far as “saving” with time and maturity I’ve come to recognize that no one person can save another who hasn’t taken steps to save herself (or himself).
 
  Reply With Quote
lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #6  July 2,2009, 11:46pm
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

california

Posts: 1,364

See profile

i think men are happy enough to step in with financial aid. emotional rescue - that they don't do period. as for kids, i suspect many want to see some sign of competency in that area.
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  July 3,2009, 12:00am
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

Only the codependent ones...
 
  Reply With Quote
Luv2RideHorses is offline Luv2RideHorses Post #8  July 3,2009, 12:02am
Luv2RideHorse…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Charleston, SC

Posts: 20

See profile

I think some men are intimidated by a self-reliant woman. Others wouldn't have it any other way. The men who want to "rescue" women also want to "control" them. I guess that's why I'm single. I won't be controlled. (Had enough of that in my first and only marriage).
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #9  July 3,2009, 3:16am
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile

I can tell you that your common sense thinking is wrong.

The problem is you think success is what us guys are grading you on as potential significant other material, when in reality it's only a small percentage.

You say you're independent and work hard. That's all fine and dandy, but where are all those other qualities that we're looking for in a mate?

I'm going to go with Steve Harvey's answer on what we need in a woman. Love, support, and "the cookie". If you haven't read his book, it's funny and fairly accurate as well.
 
  Reply With Quote
chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #10  July 3,2009, 5:13am
chawks64's Avatar

is keeping warm with her Honey.

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Southern Nevada

Posts: 6,735

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :
I can tell you that your common sense thinking is wrong.

The problem is you think success is what us guys are grading you on as potential significant other material, when in reality it's only a small percentage.

You say you're independent and work hard. That's all fine and dandy, but where are all those other qualities that we're looking for in a mate?

I'm going to go with Steve Harvey's answer on what we need in a woman. Love, support, and "the cookie". If you haven't read his book, it's funny and fairly accurate as well.
This is a really good point. I think a man who is mentally and emotionally healthy is looking for a woman can financially take care of herself, but that doesn't always mean the traditional definition of "successful". That's more of something a woman looks for in a man. Yes, I'm stereotyping, but I'm talking about cultural norms here, not individual preferences.

There are things you have to give up and personality traits usually required for a woman to be a success in the business world. Some men may find these attractive and others, well, not so much. It just depends on the man and his priorities.

Some men truly are looking for someone to "rescue", and that's not healthy. It only works when the woman is helpless, so any personal growth on her part threatens his role in the relationship. Been there, done that, got the divorce decree.

On the other hand, a lot of men find the nurturing side of a woman to be attractive, and that's difficult to be in the competetive, hard-driving business world. So it seems to be all about personal balance and finding someone who has the same outlook as you do. You just can't please everyone.

BTW, I sometimes have the opposite problem. Since my job doesn't pay the big bucks (and it sounds like it pays even less than it does), guys tend to think MY motives are to be "rescued". And there's really no way to prove them wrong other than time and learning more about me.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Gals: Most You've Spent on a Date... | Dating | Do you consider couples legally separated still married? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
so then a women who is not real pretty can never find love???? kat5560 Dating 112 September 9,2011 9:51pm
Why Successful Women Can't Find a Great Man eharmonyadvice Ask a Dating Expert 630 August 16,2011 10:01pm
A Mars Venus Guide: Dating Do's and Don'ts for Men outlaw1 Dating 62 December 27,2010 9:04pm
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 9:04am
Having Friends DennisWisconsin A Man's Point of view 3 May 24,2009 8:54am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:27am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0