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last12C last12C is offline
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last12C Is finding plenty to be thankful for :-)

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I'm independent enough to not have to ever worry about supporting myself, and to not find myself in the position where I have to opt into a relationship in order to survive. I find fulfillment in the professional element in my life; it supplies me with a unique measure of accomplishment, intellectual stimulation and security that I can find in no other way. But that is only one relatively small part of who I am - a part that I do not necessarily assign any gender to. Then there is that other part - the softer, more feminine part of me, that appreciates what only an intimate relationship can give me. That's the part of me that needs to be giving and craves giving in return from one very special man. It is what allows me to enjoy being purely female and savoring what is purely male; rescuing one another from an existence essentially devoid of gender.

No one wants to be one-dimensional. And life is rather boring if it is lacking in contrast. If I want to be giving I have to have something to give. When a seesaw is not in balance one end or the other is obviously going to be sitting in the dirt. When we find ourselves in that lowly position we can do one of two things: we can either depend totally on someone else to exert pressure on the other end, or we can simply flex our muscles, straighten our legs out and stand up. But it's actually safer for both if it is a coordinated effort between the two. I enjoy doing what I do professionally and doing it well. But that is not who I am. It's nice to come home at the end of a productive day and change into something a bit more comfortable.
Last edited by last12C; July 3rd, 2009 at 02:48 pm.
- July 3rd, 2009, 01:45 pm
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6dle899 6dle899 is offline
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6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

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Do I look like a fireman? < smirks >



I actually got some midnight frantic emails from a female I was dating, asked to "please be rescued".

^^^^ Note use of PAST tense.
- July 3rd, 2009, 02:44 pm
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last12C last12C is offline
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last12C Is finding plenty to be thankful for :-)

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6dle899 wrote :
Do I look like a fireman? < smirks >



I actually got some midnight frantic emails from a female I was dating, asked to "please be rescued".

^^^^ Note use of PAST tense.
Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow...

- July 3rd, 2009, 03:11 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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men, like women, want to feel good. they want to feel they're enough as they are. that's really the bottom line.
- July 4th, 2009, 12:44 am
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Bouffy Bouffy is offline
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Bouffy isn't as easy to see through as you think.

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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 wrote :
I would want a man with his stuff together as an equal just as I am. Do men only want women that need to be rescued emotionally and financially, like they need to be fixed? That is so not who I am. Being independent and not just needy is a good thing in my mind. I know men need to feel needed but to what extent? In my common sense thinking, I would imagine a man would want an independent woman that works hard as I do. Another thing is that I always felt that its a plus that I don't have kids. Do men prefer women with kids?
Men want to feel needed. It's true. As long as you have a facet of your personality that he can support you can do whatever else you want. Personally I prefer women who are emotionally invested in relationships because it makes me feel secure. At the same time I require a degree of independence on her part. I can't be holding her hand showing her how to do EVERYTHING. It's nice to share the deep things, but the shallow stuff has got to be handled by yourself.

I wonder if that makes sense... It's sort of backwards. Since people tend to share themselves shallowly at first and build up to the deep stuff... Truthfully by that point I'm so fed up that I've lost interest. It's best to jump in with both feet and give all the effort you can, alternatively you can drag it out and waste time hedging your bets. It might hurt you and the other person in the end but without risking how can big bets be won?

You don't need kids.

To summarize, I think you are great. Don't change yourself to fit with anyone, but realize that they will be doing the same thing and you'll need to compromise a lot more than a meeker woman might.
- July 4th, 2009, 06:14 am
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verylibra verylibra is offline
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I volunteer to be rescued!
- July 4th, 2009, 02:09 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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verylibra wrote :
I volunteer to be rescued!

What sort of distress are you in ... this time?
- July 4th, 2009, 02:11 pm
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is offline
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is happy.

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I don't want to rescue a woman. At my age I would prefer a girl that who does not have children living at home.
< no kids here lol
- July 4th, 2009, 02:27 pm
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is offline
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 is happy.

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Bouffy wrote :
Men want to feel needed. It's true. As long as you have a facet of your personality that he can support you can do whatever else you want. Personally I prefer women who are emotionally invested in relationships because it makes me feel secure. At the same time I require a degree of independence on her part. I can't be holding her hand showing her how to do EVERYTHING. It's nice to share the deep things, but the shallow stuff has got to be handled by yourself.

I wonder if that makes sense... It's sort of backwards. Since people tend to share themselves shallowly at first and build up to the deep stuff... Truthfully by that point I'm so fed up that I've lost interest. It's best to jump in with both feet and give all the effort you can, alternatively you can drag it out and waste time hedging your bets. It might hurt you and the other person in the end but without risking how can big bets be won?

You don't need kids.

To summarize, I think you are great. Don't change yourself to fit with anyone, but realize that they will be doing the same thing and you'll need to compromise a lot more than a meeker woman might.
Thank you for the input and for the nice compliment!
- July 4th, 2009, 02:31 pm
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flowerchild66 flowerchild66 is offline
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Most of the men I meet want ME to do the rescuing.
- July 4th, 2009, 02:37 pm
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Men - are you put off by independent women? - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards &ndash; eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 20th, 2009 08:08 am
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