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OriolesFan OriolesFan is offline
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The bottom line here is that some guys do like full-figured women and some guys don't - just like some guys like women with long legs or blonde hair or green eyes or whatever. It's a preference, just like any other preference. Nothing more, nothing less.
- July 12th, 2009, 10:47 am
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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OriolesFan wrote :
The bottom line here is that some guys do like full-figured women and some guys don't - just like some guys like women with long legs or blonde hair or green eyes or whatever. It's a preference, just like any other preference. Nothing more, nothing less.
Then why are there so many darn threads about this topic?
- July 12th, 2009, 11:06 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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jayjay wrote :
Then why are there so many darn threads about this topic?
the same reason there are so many "all women are goldiggers" threads.
- July 12th, 2009, 11:37 am
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DIVINE_DESIGNS7 wrote :
I have often wondered this. Does anyone care to comment? I think in the back of my mind that maybe that's why I don't get a lot of responses. I am funny, educated, beautiful, cultured, caring, positive, artistic and independent and I don't enjoy drama. I don't get it.
There have been a number of interesting comments in this thread, but I would like to point out that initial attraction is a composite of the photos and profile.

I have been rejected out-of-hand by many prospective matches, but the e-Harmony "close" messages are too limited to provide useful information. I would welcome useful feedback. It is possible that many women have rejected me for being 3-4 pounds on the wrong side of the line between overweight and obese, or maybe not .. the generic responses they can choose from don't help. I would like to see eH provide a fill-in-the-blanks close response. But forgive me, as I have digressed.

What I wanted to communicate is this: you have listed many positive personality traits. I wonder if your profile is presenting this side of you well. I have seen profiles where the woman has only given truncated responses to maybe 5-6 of the 14 profile questions, and I've wondered why she couldn't be bothered to be more forthcoming (but that's fodder for another thread).

I obviously haven't seen your profile, so I can't speak directly to it, but in general, I would say: make sure that your profile is complete (respond to the questions, with no more than two exceptions), and give responses that illustrate your personality as best you can within the space constraints eH imposes on you.

Good Luck!
- July 12th, 2009, 12:16 pm
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What gets me the men who are over weight, short, bald, and no education to speak of that turn down women because they are full figured. They want a 10 when they are a 1 themselves. To those guys I say don't expect to get a 10 if you aren't a 10. Also remember guys the 10 you get today will probably not be the same 10 in 5 to 10 years from now. Go for the personality and the heart of the person. Wonderful people come in all sizes and shapes and colors.
- July 12th, 2009, 12:44 pm
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It is my opinion that men want a woman on his arm that he can be proud of. If she is sloppy and unkempt, that's not one he can be proud of. Initial physical attraction is key to men which may be why they seem to be more 'picky' on the woman's size then women on men's size.

Morbid obesity is not only unattractive but it suggests the deeper level of gluttony, someone who is unable to control their appetite. Men or women--who wants to be with someone who is unable to control their appetite because then one has to wonder what other things in their life they cannot control and perhaps unresolved personal issues that need to be addressed at a professional level. It isn't just the fat factor, but the things underlying it that are concerning--both for men AND women.

As a woman, I wouldn't want to be seen with someone who is sloppy and clearly does not care about how he looks. I don't really care what others think but it suggests that there is more there than meets the eye!
- July 12th, 2009, 03:15 pm
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Oh, and in reply to the guy who is concerned about the e-harmony 'closed' messages, probably the one that puts 'other' and that may be used by someone who doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I've used the 'other' response for the same reason. They may not be for me but for someone more compatible. Some of the guys who 'othered' me, I look at their pics and if they hadn't 'othered' me first, I would definitely 'othered' them back! Truth be told!
- July 12th, 2009, 03:18 pm
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Not sure weight's really the issue. I used to be overweight (had an undiagnosed thyroid condition) but getting men was never an issue: I was OK with me; I loved my life; And, frankly, I didn't care if I had a man or not. (I was deluged with men and proposals.) There are so many men out there ... some who even see beyond the physical and can love you for who you are!!

More important than what men really like, is what YOU THINK they like, and how comfortable you are with yourself. If there's any part of you that thinks your appearance is "not _________ enough" (good, thin, attractive, young, deserving) that's enough right there to send off a signal and ward men off.

There's really only one opinion that matters here ... and that's yours.

What do you believe? How do YOU feel about your physical appearance? And, like a wise professor of mine used to say, "What does it do for you to believe that?" If holding on to that belief keeps you out of relationship, there may be something deeper and older beckoning to be looked at and forgiven.

You deserve to be accepted and loved ... by others, and more importantly - yourself.
- July 12th, 2009, 03:47 pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
the same reason there are so many "all women are goldiggers" threads.
lmao!
- July 12th, 2009, 11:38 pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
the same reason there are so many "all women are goldiggers" threads.
...and the reason is......?
- July 13th, 2009, 12:04 am
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