"The difference between women and men"


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  June 30,2009, 12:58pm
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I saw this posted on another one of our sites and thought it would make for an interesting discussion here:



Do you agree with the concept that women see themselves as LESS physically attractive than they are, and men see themselves as MORE attractive as they are?

If so, why do you agree, and what are the implications of that for dating?

If not, why do you disagree?

Looking forward to an interesting, enlightening and respectful discussion.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 30,2009, 1:03pm
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Where's his wallet?
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 30,2009, 1:07pm
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My one wish for you, is love. :)

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D_Lion wrote :
Where's his wallet?
I added in a qualifier - PHYSICALLY attractive.

 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #4  June 30,2009, 1:11pm
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In my limited observations I have indeed met far more men who had self confidence than I have women. Some of the most beautiful women I have known in my life didn't believe they were. Has my perception that I am actually an attractive guy and the perception of the women I have known who didn't find themselves to be attraction affected my dating life, no. There are far more reasons I don't get dates that go far beyond how I or anyone else looks.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  June 30,2009, 1:27pm
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I’ve seen research that a surveyed group of women rated their appearance lass favorably than they were rated by men, so that would tend to support the thesis women view themselves unfavorably.
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #6  June 30,2009, 1:34pm

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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
I saw this posted on another one of our sites and thought it would make for an interesting discussion here:



Do you agree with the concept that women see themselves as LESS physically attractive than they are, and men see themselves as MORE attractive as they are?

If so, why do you agree, and what are the implications of that for dating?

If not, why do you disagree?

Looking forward to an interesting, enlightening and respectful discussion.

Respectful ? surely you jest...the premise of this being that men are egotistical jerks overestimating their attractiveness while women are humble,gentle,self effacing angels...guess that's why i see so many size 16 women in size 8 clothes exposing way more than anyone wants to see.I guess that's also why we have the term BBW because women are so humble and see themselves in such a negative light....too funny....this is in no way "respectful" so i doubt it will end that way.
Last edited by Bandmate; June 30,2009 at 1:41pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  June 30,2009, 1:55pm
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Hey, can I post a picture of my backside?!
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #8  June 30,2009, 2:13pm
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Do you think the message here is perceived self image (perhaps related to self confidence, esteem)? It plays on a common stereotype- yes, I know, a bad word- that women are more image conscious and men unconsciously think they are more attractive to women (therefore hawt!). There is a grain of truth to that stereotype, but so much common rumor and conjecture over the years has provided a pretty good camouflage.

First off, the cosmetics industry wouldn’t be doing such darn good business if women *weren’t* paying attention to their image. Women are supposed to be "pretty." I’ve got no problem with that- as a male, I appreciate their efforts! I realize that shaving your legs, putting on makeup, fixing your hair, and analyzing that dress down to the least detail takes some time. Women tend to spend more time on their appearance, and therefore they think about their own appearance more often. Men on the other hand, are way behind the curve. True, men are catching up a bit- the term "metrosexual" has entered modern usage, spa use by men is up, and we men are getting more mileage out of appearance than we used to. But there is no way we are as conscious of it compared to women as a whole, in my opinion.

As far as the implied qualitative statement- that men over evaluate and women under evaluate their own appearance- I think that is harder to pin down. That to me speaks to how you feel about yourself as a whole, not just how you feel about your appearance. Men with low self esteem would probably not be seeing the buffed image in the mirror, and confident, emotionally stable women might just be seeing the swimsuit model (or perhaps just what’s really there- but happy with it). If the question is then "do women have lower self esteem than men (on average)?" I’d have to answer that it’s about even. I don’t think either gender is more or less happy with themselves as a whole.

What do the rest of you think? Stereotype, image, self-esteem?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #9  June 30,2009, 2:34pm
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Psssh, I don't know what you're talking about... I AM more physically attractive than I think I am.

But I think the stereotypes in that cartoon are a bit true. I know guys who think they're all that and a bag of chips when in actuality, they're just a bag of chips, and I know girls who don't think they're hot yet are totally smokin.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #10  June 30,2009, 2:55pm
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I think that the way an individual views his/her physical appearance comes down to their self-esteem in many instances. I have some female friends who are simply beautiful who have horrible self-esteem, and therefore, don't see themselves as being anything more as moderately attractive, at best. I find the same is true with my male friends. I have one male friend who is constantly amazed when women compliment him on being handsome, because he sees himself as being "OK." Again, his self-esteem has taken a huge beating lately, so he's just okay in his mind.

On the flip side, I think people can take this to extremes with an over-inflated sense of self-esteem. They think they're beyond amazing, and that they are more attractive than anyone around them, even though that may not be the case. I've seen this with both genders, as well.

I agree with Wootz said in his post, in that I think women do tend to spend and focus more on their appearance, and therefore, are more aware of it, and I'll add maybe even to the point of being too aware of it. I won't even tell you how much it costs to keep my hair in curls and the gray hair incognito, but I'm going to be dropping a mint at the salon tomorrow. However, while this is my choice, the alternative is just not appealing. That said, I don't mean to imply in any way that men do not care about their appearance, for I believe they do. I just don't think it costs them quite as much. Men with gray hair are "distinguished," where as women with gray hair are "old," no matter how young they may be.

Even though I will spend a lot of money on my hair tomorrow, I don't consider myself overly concerned about my appearance. I'm not a woman who MUST spend an hour putting make up on if I'm running to the store for 5 minutes. If I'm going out for a walk or a hike in the heat of the summer, I don't bother with it, either--hair in a pony tail, sunglasses on, out the door I go. Why put it on if it's just going to melt off? Smudged make up is unattractive, and I don't like to wear it in the heat. I don't look horrible without make-up (I haven't scared any small children yet), so maybe I'm atypical, and maybe not so much, but I'd rather be having fun than worrying about that stuff sometimes.
 
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