Perpetual Internet Daters


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MoneyHoney is offline MoneyHoney Post #1  June 29,2009, 8:30am
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Last year I first started inernet dating by joining Yahoo personals for 3 months. After that I gave eHarmony a try for 3 months, and in the last few months I did a 3 day trial with match and chemistry as well as was on some free sites. What surprises me is that some of the same people I first saw on Yahoo and eHarmony last year are still on dating sites, and many men are on multiple sites. (Yes, I know . . . these men could very well have noticed that I am still on various sites after more than a year!) I'm just surprised that with a multitude of women to choose from (I live in one of the largest cities in the US), many men are still looking for "the one." Do you think internet dating actually facilitates long-term relationships or do you think it makes it easier to dump someone because finding a replacement can be just a couple of clicks away?
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  June 29,2009, 8:37am
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I think it could work because of the computer match thing.

I don't think anybody would dump somebody else thinking it's so easy on the Internet to find another. That's just too weird.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  June 29,2009, 8:44am
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I don't think people dump people because another relationship is just a click away - it's simply not true. Another date is a click away, but a relationship is very difficult to find and that goes for men and women alike.
 
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SisterCassie is offline SisterCassie Post #4  June 29,2009, 8:55am
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I definitely think a psychological phenomenon exists where some believe that they can just tap into one or more of the dating databases to find a new, replacement or alternative to what they have currently. This can create a serial internet dater, or someone who is never fully commited to a relationship because of the potential to find someone else with, as you said, a couple clicks.

I also think there are people who would give up the internet if they found the right person ... however, I also know a guy who met his spouse online and continued to browse the dating sites after he got married. He said he was just looking and it gave him an ego boost to know others he had encountered previously were still out there looking while he had found a spouse (notice I did not say he was happily married :-). If he were my spouse ...

I have had a few nice dating experiences online with most of my better encounters originating outside the net. I still think the Internet has potential but I approach it with caution. And any propensity to continue electronic communication over real-life interaction really skews things. When the scales tip that way, I sayonara.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  June 29,2009, 9:06am
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This is an interesting question. I will give you some examples of my past and let you draw your own conclusions

2002 - a 3 month subscription to Match. ZERO replies.

No dating activity whatsoever until October 2007.

October 2007 - a 6 month subscription to Match with 6 months for free deal. Contacted 600+ matches and got 4 first dates.
January 2008 - a 6 month subscription to eHarmony which has been renewing at one month intervals since. I have turned my matching off on several occasions but still have 1000+ closed matches. It took 7 1/2 months before I had my first match that would reply. The majority of my matches that will begin communication poof before ever getting to actually meeting. I have met about 6 of my matches and dated one about 8 times over a 4 month period (her schedule) before she poofed and another about 20 times in a 2 month period before she dumped me.
March 2008 - a 6 month subscription to Yahoo! Personals. Only met one match.

Yes I have seen a great many of the same people on Match and Yahoo! Personals and a couple of the girls from Match have been on eHarmony. Do I think that it may be too easy to dump someone because finding someone better is just a couple of clicks away??? Yes and no. Yes I believe that may well be the mind set of most people. From my experience I don't think that it is nearly as easy as some people seem to think to find a new compatible match.
 
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Tank is offline Tank Post #6  June 29,2009, 9:43am
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I too have been on multiple internet dating sites (Yahoo once, Match and Eharmony twice.) But I can assure you that when I have met a compatible match, if things did not go as well as I expected, I did not think "great I can go home and shop for a better woman now on "X" website. In fact I kind of dreaded to starting all over again.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #7  June 29,2009, 10:05am
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As alluded to previously, it's a major numbers game.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #8  June 29,2009, 10:16am

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Tank wrote :
I too have been on multiple internet dating sites (Yahoo once, Match and Eharmony twice.) But I can assure you that when I have met a compatible match, if things did not go as well as I expected, I did not think "great I can go home and shop for a better woman now on "X" website. In fact I kind of dreaded to starting all over again.
yup.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #9  June 29,2009, 12:23pm

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what makes eOurmoney any different? lots of people here think its ok to date multiple people at once and then complain when they still can't find the right person or get poofed (not considering the possibility that their date is also dating multiple people, thus playing the same game they're playing)
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #10  June 29,2009, 1:41pm
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I have been on numerous dating sites, including trying to place personals on CraigsList. I have at times seen the same person on a few different sites and I am sure people notice that I am on different sites at times. As one who has done the internet dating thing and trying to use the internet to find dates I have become a bit cynical.

I mean it isn't like I didn't have much luck in the past, I met my ex on match.com, we were together for nearly a year and it was the longest relationship I have ever been in. So I have a little hope that I could meet someone else.

I do think people set their standards higher when meeting someone through a dating site than they do meeting people out and about. I mean when you meet someone in a bar you would likely talk to them a bit and really get to know them, you aren't going to read a profile and then get turned off by them and not talk to them. The problem is, there can sometimes be a spark with someone in person where it isn't online. Not that I think people should lower their standards, and I have suggested people on here before not to lower their standards as the chances are there is something who matches what you want and you just have to find them.

With that said, I will likely get out of the online dating scene after my eHarmony subscription expires. I really feel that I should perhaps try meeting women "in real life".
 
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