A completely different phone question


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #1  June 29,2009, 7:10am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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So I have an eHarmony match, we have gone through the process and spent a bit of time in Open Communication and have decided that it is time to meet.

During making the arrangements of where and when to meet I give her my cell phone number so that if there is a problem (late, lost, etc.) she will be able to let me know. I am expect that she would provide her cell phone number so I could let her know if there was a problem. But no, she never provides her phone number.

Am I missing something here? If you have become comfortable enough to meet me in person would / should you not also be comfortable enough to give me your phone number so that I could let you know if I am having some problem getting to the meeting.

Girls especially but guys your take also. This has happened twice to me, actually both of the last two girls I was to meet.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; June 29,2009 at 7:14am. Reason: Who taught me English?
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #2  June 29,2009, 7:41am
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Odd indeed and a red flag in my book. I would want to talk on the phone (much) before meeting, and I would certainly reciprocate by making my number available. That she didn't speaks to lack of respect, interest, and availability. Can't get to know someone if he/she can't follow through on something this basic.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  June 29,2009, 7:42am
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I have to confess I'm one of the few people in this world who don't actually have a cell phone

There is a phone in my car but dang! I'd have to get out the book to figure it out. It's voice activated, no numbers to dial, very frustrating

Don't be late
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  June 29,2009, 7:55am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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pamcam wrote :
Odd indeed and a red flag in my book. I would want to talk on the phone (much) before meeting, and I would certainly reciprocate by making my number available. That she didn't speaks to lack of respect, interest, and availability. Can't get to know someone if he/she can't follow through on something this basic.
Both these girls used safety concerns as their reason for not providing their phone number

I am not much for talking on the phone, particularly if I have to make the call. For the most part most of the matches that I have met have been done with no phone conversation prior to meeting. In the few cases when there was phone conversation it was very short and to the point of just firming up the meeting time and place.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  June 29,2009, 8:02am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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j0hn8andy wrote :
I have to confess I'm one of the few people in this world who don't actually have a cell phone

There is a phone in my car but dang! I'd have to get out the book to figure it out. It's voice activated, no numbers to dial, very frustrating

Don't be late
I did not have a cell phone until October 2008.

I always make plans to be very early. However in one case I was involved in an accident on the way to the meeting. If I had, had her phone number I could have called and rescheduled probably even before she had left her house. However since she had not given me her phone number I could not call her and she never called me to see why I was not at the restaurant. Needless to say it was all my fault and I never did meet her. The other recent case I got slightly lost but if I had not been able to find my way I would not have been able to call and ask her how to get to the restaurant she had chosen and was in an area she was familiar with. Luckily in this case I was able to find the place with plenty of time.
 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #6  June 29,2009, 8:46am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
So I have an eHarmony match, we have gone through the process and spent a bit of time in Open Communication and have decided that it is time to meet.

During making the arrangements of where and when to meet I give her my cell phone number so that if there is a problem (late, lost, etc.) she will be able to let me know. I am expect that she would provide her cell phone number so I could let her know if there was a problem. But no, she never provides her phone number.

Am I missing something here? If you have become comfortable enough to meet me in person would / should you not also be comfortable enough to give me your phone number so that I could let you know if I am having some problem getting to the meeting.

Girls especially but guys your take also. This has happened twice to me, actually both of the last two girls I was to meet.

Hi,
I believe it’s quite possible you’re dealing with an "old school" issue. If you’re dating women within your age range, they may be wondering why you’re not asking them for their phone number. They may even be feeling quite panicked by it.
I believe many women still have it ground into their head that it’s inappropriately forward to offer a man her phone number unless he asks. Even if the man provides his first. The rule still applies "old school".
Why haven’t you just asked them?

Lisa
 
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Lisa4fellowship is offline Lisa4fellowship Post #7  June 29,2009, 9:04am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Both these girls used safety concerns as their reason for not providing their phone number

I am not much for talking on the phone, particularly if I have to make the call. For the most part most of the matches that I have met have been done with no phone conversation prior to meeting. In the few cases when there was phone conversation it was very short and to the point of just firming up the meeting time and place.

Parncam might be a little quick to judge people’s motives.
If you haven’t talked enough through e-mails, or phone conversations to create a level of comfort and safety, I don’t understand why your making plans to meet. ??
Lisa
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  June 29,2009, 12:03pm
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pamcam wrote :
Odd indeed and a red flag in my book. I would want to talk on the phone (much) before meeting, and I would certainly reciprocate by making my number available. That she didn't speaks to lack of respect, interest, and availability. Can't get to know someone if he/she can't follow through on something this basic.
Maybe just a leetle bit of Stalker paranoia going on too.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  June 29,2009, 12:17pm

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Hi Greatguy,

I would not sweat this. She may not have a cell phone or she may just not feel comfortable giving it out yet.

Relax and enjoy your date!!! I hope it goes well!!

And PS: If for whatever reason, you do not have a phone next time or their number and you cannot make it - you can always call the restaurant or the meet place and they will get the message to your date!

And don't forget to tell us how it goes!!!
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #10  June 29,2009, 12:20pm

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this reminds me of the ol "you send me YOUR picture first and then i'll send you mine" (in which you never do receive their picture even though you honored the deal by sending your's).

if she doesn't trust you with her phone number at this point in your 'relationship', dump her.
 
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