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Robert1857 Robert1857 is offline
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I thought a reel woman was someone who likes movies.
- July 3rd, 2009, 06:01 pm
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Blackadder Blackadder is offline
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From the comments here it sounds like "Real Man" is a relative term and putting it in a profile without explaination really gives no hint to what the person is looking for. Like someone else said, the poster using this term is lazy and defaulting to an ambiguous term they feel everyone understands as they see it. Using the term in an attempt to foster communication is probably a bad idea because your goal is to get to the communication stage first, then be as vague and ambiguous as you want once you're talking when you can explain readily.

When I read it in profiles it brings to mind a masculine guy, strong willed, who knows what he wants and takes it, a take charge type, just short of being labeled as abusive in the relationship. I close those profiles quickly.
- July 3rd, 2009, 06:08 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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Blackadder wrote :
From the comments here it sounds like "Real Man" is a relative term and putting it in a profile without explaination really gives no hint to what the person is looking for. Like someone else said, the poster using this term is lazy and defaulting to an ambiguous term they feel everyone understands as they see it. Using the term in an attempt to foster communication is probably a bad idea because your goal is to get to the communication stage first, then be as vague and ambiguous as you want once you're talking when you can explain readily.

When I read it in profiles it brings to mind a masculine guy, strong willed, who knows what he wants and takes it, a take charge type, just short of being labeled as abusive in the relationship. I close those profiles quickly.
+1

I am hereby adding you to my collection of imaginary men.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; July 3rd, 2009 at 07:04 pm. Reason: Just imagine all the great conversations we'll have...
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:04 pm
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RedDirect RedDirect is offline
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Gutierrez22 wrote :
1.) A true family person.
A true loner who doesn't need anything from anyone.

Gutierrez22 wrote :
2.)Stands by their woman.
Stands up to his woman when he know he's right.

Gutierrez22 wrote :
3.)Doesnt depend fully on her...
Depends on no one but himself.

Gutierrez22 wrote :
5.)Enjoys doing things together.
Does things by himself, away from the pressures of others.

Gutierrez22 wrote :
6.)Passionate.
Stay's on an even-keel, and never goes too far away from center.

Gutierrez22 wrote :
7.)Isnt scared to show you how he feels;anytime,anywhere...he gives all of himself to his woman.
Never shows his feelings, as some might see that as a sign of weakness and seek to exploit it.

See how poor the word "real" is at describing someone? There is no definition other than what an individual ascribes to it. Someone can draw the exact opposite of what you might imply. The word is without meaning and therefore useless.
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:26 pm
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waltercl waltercl is offline
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redevil999 wrote :
It seems to me that when one uses the term "real" before a term it gives a derogatory tone and is too open to interpretation. Probably better to just spell it out and avoid alienating someone uneccessarily.
Very good point. This is similar to what was being discussed in another thread about how people talk about what they're not looking for such as "I'm tired of players." When I see something like that in a profile I move on quickly.

As far as spelling something out I'd like to see something like the below appear in a woman's profile:

I'm looking for a man who accepts responsibility and is a leader. I want someone who leads by including me and taking my input seriously but not someone who feels they have to figure out what I want and then do that to keep my approval. I want a man who listens attentively but not someone I can manipulate. I want someone who isn't afraid to disagree or to tell me no. If I give some type of implied or direct threat that he either goes along with me or there will be less sex then I want him to be strong enough to stick with his principals anyway. I want a man who hasn't bowed down to all the pressure from the media, feminists, and every other force that seeks to rob them of what really makes them men and instead wants to turn them into sniveling whimps who say what they think women want to hear while all the time only really caring about themselves and what they hope to get out of it.

When I see that then I know they are looking for a real man.
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:55 pm
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Maybe a real man is the one who does not pretend to be something he is not until he has established a relationship and then decided he can drop the niceties and " be himself" including the scratching and belching.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:11 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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chawks64 had a really great 2nd date...

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waltercl wrote :
Very good point. This is similar to what was being discussed in another thread about how people talk about what they're not looking for such as "I'm tired of players." When I see something like that in a profile I move on quickly.

As far as spelling something out I'd like to see something like the below appear in a woman's profile:

I'm looking for a man who accepts responsibility and is a leader. I want someone who leads by including me and taking my input seriously but not someone who feels they have to figure out what I want and then do that to keep my approval. I want a man who listens attentively but not someone I can manipulate. I want someone who isn't afraid to disagree or to tell me no. If I give some type of implied or direct threat that he either goes along with me or there will be less sex then I want him to be strong enough to stick with his principals anyway. I want a man who hasn't bowed down to all the pressure from the media, feminists, and every other force that seeks to rob them of what really makes them men and instead wants to turn them into sniveling whimps who say what they think women want to hear while all the time only really caring about themselves and what they hope to get out of it.

When I see that then I know they are looking for a real man.
Okay, this is getting spooky! This makes TWICE I'm agreeing with you!
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:21 pm
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twinfaceGem twinfaceGem is offline
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chawks64 wrote :
You know, I read the first line and thought 'here we go again, I'm going to have to explain that I don't want someone to rescue me, I just want someone to love me."

But, after reading the rest of the post, I really do agree with it. Maybe I truly am an old-fashioned sexist pig, but I do appreciate a man that is stronger and more emotionally stable and able to take care of himself financially. And I'm sure he appreciates that I am concerned about his well-being even when he says he'll be okay (because we know you don't always mean it when you say that).

To me, a Real Man is one who is a good person and is reasonably comfortable with who he is. Someone who is willing to do the tough things because they are the right things. Someone who takes care of the people he loves (as I would do for him). My dad was a Real Man, and he's a tough act to follow, but I know they are out there because I've read their posts on these boards.

Now, I have to admit to being attracted to Manly Men. To me, that's a different thing. A Manly Man is probably a little old-fashioned in his view of male/female roles and works in a typical male occupation (firefighter, construction). I think every woman needs a Real Man, but my personal preference is for a Real Man that is also a Manly Man.
Its a responce like this in responce to Oregon coast guy that gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling about looking for my special somone.
Out of all the posts I've read it was the best.
Real man advice We have evolved as a society not as a human race 90% goes back to basics and woman project what they want in men. Think about it when all the smoke clears its about babies a woman has to take care of a baby even if we are gone...for years...whos going to protect them? Sure, I know plenty of woman can do it them self but thats not the point...to be your man you want to know he can do it better then you.
Even what a woman writes is a great insight to who they are and what they are looking for. You just have to actually care about getting to know them to see those things and like it was said before...ask.
And for mr homestead or homely guy with the anger...woman test men for their own protection at which ever level they see that as, get past that and a woman will go to her death to give and provide and make us men happy....thats just what they do. So man up and find your place in the world and go take it on.
Crying about the issue instead of trying to resolve the issue with in yourself says you need a mother not an equal.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:25 pm
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twinfaceGem twinfaceGem is offline
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Now that is something I would want to see to know they are looking for guys like us Nicely said...especially the media bit.
- July 3rd, 2009, 08:28 pm
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simpletonHeart70 simpletonHeart70 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
Why are you bringing ten pounds of women-hating for a one-pound job – and from “yard work” – seriously?!

Problems stemming from your family, or even structural changes in society and political economy are not the fault of women collectively.

Whatever it is you’re looking for in a partner, there are sure to be women out there who will provide it. It can be hard, especially if your standards are hard to meet, but you need to have a better attitude toward women generally to have success with getting good ones.
True. I'm not mad at women per se as much as our society's gender roles. Feminism helped women out and trounced on men.

Every time I hear a woman or anyone for that matter that says "be a man" or "a real man", I want to punch them in the face as hard as I can.

It's more than just being responsible for more. And it may sound trivial but when you're a child in a house with women and you're doing twice the work because of screwed up gender role B-S, it tends to stick in your craw. In addition to much more.

But it's this disgusting role models that lead to high suicide rates in boys. Right now girls get catered while boys go neglected. And the reason?? Everyone thinks if you have a member that somehow you can function on your own and you don't need help.

What's worse is how many grown men kill themselves because they don't feel they can ask for help. Especially when you look at men in the armed services.

So whenever some woman asks for a "real man", I hope she gets some physically abusive jerk that expects her to be his servant. Because that's what she deserves.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:48 pm
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