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simpletonHeart70 simpletonHeart70 is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
It is funny that the guys are thinking the "Marlboro Man" type as greatguy put it. I truly believe it is the PamCam definition that women mean.

I have something similar to "Real Men" in my profile but I think I put I was looking for one of the "good guys".

I remember having one match that asked what I meant. When I responded, I was thinking to myself - well, you probably aren't one if you have to ask what it means. lol!

Just wondering, in all honesty, don't you think that if we found the match a wee bit attractive, that barring glaringly obvious red flags we would communicate with them? And wouldn't the opposite be true too then? That if we do not find a match the least bit attractive, then we find so-called bad things in their profile?? Or is it just me that is shallow? lol!!

I think the reason men think of Marlboro man because being a "real man" sounds a whole lot like "be a man".

And in society, "being a man" means being self-less, unemotional, giving and not taking, being strong and showing no weakness, being a leader and not a follower, being a hero and not a coward, NEVER ever need help, never need emotional attention, never crying, etc. etc.

I once asked a woman in regard to torture if she thought women hurt more than men. She said yes.

I think that's the idea behind "a real man"...not a wimp, not some dude that cries, etc.

But F society. That's why I'm not married. Growing up I had to do household chores, because women shouldn't be expected to do those things ANY MORE. But yet I still had to be a man and do yard work.

Frankly what do women add to the equation any more? An extra income? They don't do housework, they expect you not to cry nor need love. F' em. Thanks mom for teaching me that I don't need women. Kudos.

Then there's the women who get angry at men that get into relationships and want them to be their mommies. Well I guess you just want some robot dude who makes money for you and tells you how great you are with no expectations back??

I am so sick of women and their laundry list of demands. You want a real man? Go rent a movie. Thank god for masturbatio n.




- July 3rd, 2009, 10:20 am
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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KungFuFtr wrote :
What's a "real relationship"?
I am looking for a poem I received from a potential partner some years ago called realationship. I received my most blessed loving yet most painful lessons from him, as the words were just words. They aren't mere words to me anymore. And for me, as I was not emotionally present and available to love him, this has been my deepest loss; throughout he GAVE me so much, unconditionally, and in the spirit and light of true giving and loving. We can only give what we truly have...to give. It's expansive and unlimited. Relationships/partnerships have much more to do w/ what each individual has to bring, give, and offer, rather than the attitude of what am I getting out of it, or better said, what am TAKING. Who wants to be in relationship w/ someone who takes rather than gives and contributes?
Last edited by pamcam; July 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 am.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:23 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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It seems to me that when one uses the term "real" before a term it gives a derogatory tone and is too open to interpretation. Probably better to just spell it out and avoid alienating someone uneccessarily.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:27 am
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redevil999 redevil999 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I know that someone like D_Lion is going to pop in and say boobs.
He probably wouldn't be that crass. You seem to like to poke at him.

That's my job doncha know?!
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:30 am
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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Oh Simpleton - your post made me sad. Sometimes, people need to remember that they choose to be the person they are - not their past or their upbringing. Be a real man and stop blaming everything and everyone else for your situation. Trust me, it will be a great improvement on your entire life.

(And I know there is a real man in you - you just have not found him yet.)

PS: Real men do cry and hurt and they don't need any excuse for it. That is a real man - a man that knows his worth and does not need to prove it to anyone. Think Popeye - I am what I am.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:35 am
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D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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simpletonHeart70 wrote :
That's why I'm not married. Growing up I had to do household chores, because women shouldn't be expected to do those things ANY MORE. But yet I still had to be a man and do yard work.

Frankly what do women add to the equation any more? An extra income? They don't do housework, they expect you not to cry nor need love. Thanks mom for teaching me that I don't need women. Kudos.

I am so sick of women and their laundry list of demands. You want a real man? Go rent a movie.

Why are you bringing ten pounds of women-hating for a one-pound job – and from “yard work” – seriously?!

Problems stemming from your family, or even structural changes in society and political economy are not the fault of women collectively.

Whatever it is you’re looking for in a partner, there are sure to be women out there who will provide it. It can be hard, especially if your standards are hard to meet, but you need to have a better attitude toward women generally to have success with getting good ones.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:35 am
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simpletonHeart70 simpletonHeart70 is offline
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pamcam wrote :
Relationships/partnerships have much more to do w/ what each individual has to bring, give, and offer, rather than the attitude of what am I getting out of it, or better said, what am TAKING. Who wants to be in relationship w/ someone who takes rather than gives and contributes?
Yeah, who wants to be in a relationship with someone that just takes, we want them to give. Er, wait, you said it was wrong to want someone that gives.

You realize you're contradicting yourself, right?

Everyone evaluates what they get out of a relationship. And rightly so. It may sounds selfish to ask "what do I get out of this", but seriously unless you're Mother Theresa, why should you be wasting your time if there's nothing in it for you?
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:37 am
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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Mayne wrote :
For those of you put in your profile that you're looking for a "REAL MAN", what do you mean?

If you want a "REAL MAN", does this mean I get to kick back and drink beer, belch, and scratch my private parts, while watching a football game and while you're in the kitchen cooking my dinner?

How does a "REAL MAN" contrast with one who is not real? Are you really just saying that cross-dressers need not apply?
Hmmmm...the scratching I can definitely do without..but everything else is just fine. As long as you let me hoot and holla for my team..especially when yours is losing...and let me gloat as long as I want when my team wins and yours doesn't.

Oh yeah...and i do the "Snoopy Happy Dance" too...you have been warned!
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:40 am
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I didn't say that it is wrong to want someone who gives. What I "meant" and tried (unsucessfully) to communicate is the gift of each unique individual who mutually agrees to enter into, build, create, and grow (in) a relationship--GIVES/RECEIVES to/from his/her partner and to the relationship and the security, stability safe place and space of the relationship. Love gives to give; love gives and is giving it is expansive and the potential for that exists in each of us is what is really limitless--if we are open and allow for it to flow; fear constricts, restricts, and limits. Love is giving and receiving.
Last edited by pamcam; July 3rd, 2009 at 10:52 am.
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:46 am
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Being a real man = physical strength, emotional strength, financial strength.

What I mean: Physical strength = are you physically stronger than she is. Let's be honest; a woman would be embarrassed to be with a guy that she could beat arm wrestling. A woman still wants to feel like a woman. Every woman wants to be carried over the threshold, every woman wants to feel like a man is going to be able to provide security and protection. You don't have to be Arnold, but don't be a weakling.

Emotional strength: Do you know how and when to appropriately convey emotions? Can you be sensitive without breaking down and crying yourself? Women don't want men who cry at inappropriate times. An inappropriate time for a man to cry would be during a movie. You are supposed to be providing the strength and comfort to her. If you are breaking down more than she is, that is a definite turn off. But you don't need to remain stoic at the funeral of a person close to you. It is appropriate to grieve. Knowing how and when it is appropriate to show emotion, when is it appropriate to be vulnerable, and how you go about this is big. Having control of your emotions is big. You don't have to be Spock, but don't go breaking things and shouting over something minor.

Financial strength = are you able to live well within your means? Maybe you don't have the highest paying job, but are you doing fine with what you have? Are you going hungry because you're paying for your COMCAST DVR On-Demand? Women are more concerned with how well you are able to manage your finances rather than how much you make. You don't have to be Warren Buffet, but if you're only making $25K are you living well?

Just my thought...
- July 3rd, 2009, 10:54 am
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