Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
rRACINGRANDY's Avatar

rRACINGRANDY hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 40

See profile

So I met someone that I thought had "potential" last weekend for a date from E-Harmony. Spent almost 3 weeks of exchanging e-mails before we met. She wanted to take it slow and cautious. She requested the initial communication and for the next few weeks, we exchanged short/brief e-mails 1-2X a day.

So the date went very well. Almost 4 hours. Attractive, nice and it seemed like we had a great time. A lot of laughs and a lot of energy. Said goodbye and thanks with a nice kiss.

I liked her!

For the next 3 days afterwords, we exchanged more e-mails. Set a date to get together again. Good pace. Not over wellming as I have a lot going on at work.

And then......"poof". She disappeared. Vanished. No "Dear John", no "I am sorry", no "nothing".

Until it happens to you with someone you like or you think might have potential, you don't know the feelings of hurt and disappointment. And while I know this is part of the on line dating game, it does not take away the feelings of emptyness and the fear of having to do the entire process again with someone new.

I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.

Maybe life does go in circles. Maybe what you do to others yesterday will come back tomorrow. But until it happens to you, you just don't know the power of rejection and hurt.

I will be "ok". Have no choice. Have two wonderful boys that I love and a great career. Also remain involved in competitive cycling, which is a healthy outlet. I am just missing the joy of having someone with me doing fun things together as a couple.

Just seems like it's taking a lot longer than it should and I am meeting a lot of women that seem to be confused with what they really want.
- June 27th, 2009, 10:54 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
AMFC3030's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 19

See profile

I hear that man. I am kinda in the same boat. I met a super cool chick and thought wow this could be the one. I am still talking to her and what not but it's not like it was before. I know she's crazy busy but ohhh well if it works out sweet but I am pretty doubtful as of right now that it will.
- June 28th, 2009, 01:16 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy's Avatar

Oregon_Coast_Guy We're one of a kind like dip di-dip di-dip doo-bop a doo-bee do

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 1,586

See profile

You "liked" her after the first date. The rule of thumb is no emotional attachment until after 6 months of exclusivity.
- June 28th, 2009, 01:31 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
waltercl's Avatar

waltercl is Feeling good about life ............................

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 1,183

See profile

rRACINGRANDY wrote :
I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.
Look what we have here ladies, an admitted Poofer. Grab your pitchforks and torches and hunt him down!
- June 28th, 2009, 02:09 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Wiseman2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 552

See profile

Someone else came along swept her off her feet and she totally forgot about you. It happens, sorry
rRACINGRANDY wrote :
So I met someone that I thought had "potential" last weekend for a date from E-Harmony. Spent almost 3 weeks of exchanging e-mails before we met. She wanted to take it slow and cautious. She requested the initial communication and for the next few weeks, we exchanged short/brief e-mails 1-2X a day.

So the date went very well. Almost 4 hours. Attractive, nice and it seemed like we had a great time. A lot of laughs and a lot of energy. Said goodbye and thanks with a nice kiss.

I liked her!

For the next 3 days afterwords, we exchanged more e-mails. Set a date to get together again. Good pace. Not over wellming as I have a lot going on at work.

And then......"poof". She disappeared. Vanished. No "Dear John", no "I am sorry", no "nothing".

Until it happens to you with someone you like or you think might have potential, you don't know the feelings of hurt and disappointment. And while I know this is part of the on line dating game, it does not take away the feelings of emptyness and the fear of having to do the entire process again with someone new.

I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.

Maybe life does go in circles. Maybe what you do to others yesterday will come back tomorrow. But until it happens to you, you just don't know the power of rejection and hurt.

I will be "ok". Have no choice. Have two wonderful boys that I love and a great career. Also remain involved in competitive cycling, which is a healthy outlet. I am just missing the joy of having someone with me doing fun things together as a couple.

Just seems like it's taking a lot longer than it should and I am meeting a lot of women that seem to be confused with what they really want.
- June 28th, 2009, 04:26 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Monica1's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 216

See profile

I had an ex b/f tell me he was madly in love with me and it was all happening too fast....then POOF. I happend to know he had some unresolved issues in his life, so I got it. At least he said something at all, but he still poofed.
- June 28th, 2009, 05:52 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Monica1's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 216

See profile

Oh, and rRACINGRANDY- sorry for your disappointment. It's sometimes the price we have to pay in our search for a partner
- June 28th, 2009, 05:55 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 10,340

See profile

You "liked" her after the first date. The rule of thumb is no emotional attachment until after 6 months of exclusivity.

You've been able to sustain this idea?
- June 28th, 2009, 06:27 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
rRACINGRANDY's Avatar

rRACINGRANDY hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 40

See profile

Yeah, how many of us (regardless of gender) can go into a first date or even several with the same person and not have feelings that "this could be the one"?

I could see where you want to control those feelings. Keep them in check. But the reality is, unless your Spock, those feelings are going to crop up.
- June 28th, 2009, 06:40 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
tommyboy047's Avatar

tommyboy047 back

Quick Study

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 223

See profile

I agree with you D_lion about Oregon guy, six months without any emotional attachment, guess he never felt chemistry on first date, says something about him for sure. Your missing out Oregon guy if your holding back your emotions for 6 months. Makes me wonder if you even had a relationship that lasted more then 6 months with that kind of dating rule.

As for racing guy, you think slow is exchanging emails for 3 weeks, that is about the time I look to start phone conversations if things go well up to that point. I like to really get to know the person before setting up a date. If you get to the point that your talking every day and sometimes for hours, you can feel some chemistry going on and boy does it make the date a whole lot better, your already comfortable with the person and seeing them in person just brings a chill.

Also racing guy, you can feel it in the hug and kiss, did you feel a connection or chemistry and I don't mean down in the pants, there is a big difference. Body chemistry vs pants chemistry, no comparison when you feel it.

Last edited by tommyboy047; June 28th, 2009 at 06:58 am.
- June 28th, 2009, 06:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“A trifling technicality!” – D_Lion

Join the “Saturday Night Plans...” discussion

“Points 1, 3, 4, and 6 shouldn't be too hard find at that age range. 5 and 7 are potential deal breakers. It can and will limit your choices. Choice 3? Seriously? Is it absolutely necessary that ... ” – kneo24

Join the “Is there really half a cookie out there” discussion

“If I say--truthfully--what I do, it might start a riot. Trouble is, it works; ie it turns women on incredibly. Well, it's not "trouble" for me, but it would cause some. **LOL**” – TheyCallMePervert_n9

Join the “The Three Cs of Great Sex ” discussion

“ My first home, I bought it in 2000, and I did have to provide 10% down-payment. My interest rate was 6.4% (I think!). My current home, the interest rate is 5.55% (the 9% is for another, smaller ... ” – meri75

Join the “Five Myths of Divorce, CS, and Custody in the USA” discussion

“The P.O. is not dead. I believe it is currently on Life Support. I believe the prognosis is good.” – jsbach

Join the “do you believe in the resurrection of the dead?” discussion

“Does anyone have any favorite Bible verses to share? Some folks have a "life" verse too. Can you explain why these particular verses have had such an influence on you?” – jsbach

Join the “Hide it in your heart” discussion

“YouTube - Kanye West - Homecoming Kanye West and ColdPlay... Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – legend29

Join the “COLDPLAY” discussion

“I'd vote for asking them all out to coffee at once--non threatening, non-date. Talk togethter and see if there is any thing to really talk about. Playing duck, duck, goose in your social circle may ... ” – glendagoodwitch

Join the “a question more for the ladies about getting a date” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:13 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0