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rRACINGRANDY is offline rRACINGRANDY Post #1  June 27,2009, 8:54pm
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So I met someone that I thought had "potential" last weekend for a date from E-Harmony. Spent almost 3 weeks of exchanging e-mails before we met. She wanted to take it slow and cautious. She requested the initial communication and for the next few weeks, we exchanged short/brief e-mails 1-2X a day.

So the date went very well. Almost 4 hours. Attractive, nice and it seemed like we had a great time. A lot of laughs and a lot of energy. Said goodbye and thanks with a nice kiss.

I liked her!

For the next 3 days afterwords, we exchanged more e-mails. Set a date to get together again. Good pace. Not over wellming as I have a lot going on at work.

And then......"poof". She disappeared. Vanished. No "Dear John", no "I am sorry", no "nothing".

Until it happens to you with someone you like or you think might have potential, you don't know the feelings of hurt and disappointment. And while I know this is part of the on line dating game, it does not take away the feelings of emptyness and the fear of having to do the entire process again with someone new.

I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.

Maybe life does go in circles. Maybe what you do to others yesterday will come back tomorrow. But until it happens to you, you just don't know the power of rejection and hurt.

I will be "ok". Have no choice. Have two wonderful boys that I love and a great career. Also remain involved in competitive cycling, which is a healthy outlet. I am just missing the joy of having someone with me doing fun things together as a couple.

Just seems like it's taking a lot longer than it should and I am meeting a lot of women that seem to be confused with what they really want.
 
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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #2  June 27,2009, 11:16pm
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I hear that man. I am kinda in the same boat. I met a super cool chick and thought wow this could be the one. I am still talking to her and what not but it's not like it was before. I know she's crazy busy but ohhh well if it works out sweet but I am pretty doubtful as of right now that it will.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #3  June 27,2009, 11:31pm
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You "liked" her after the first date. The rule of thumb is no emotional attachment until after 6 months of exclusivity.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #4  June 28,2009, 12:09am
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rRACINGRANDY wrote :
I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.
Look what we have here ladies, an admitted Poofer. Grab your pitchforks and torches and hunt him down!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #5  June 28,2009, 2:26am
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Someone else came along swept her off her feet and she totally forgot about you. It happens, sorry
rRACINGRANDY wrote :
So I met someone that I thought had "potential" last weekend for a date from E-Harmony. Spent almost 3 weeks of exchanging e-mails before we met. She wanted to take it slow and cautious. She requested the initial communication and for the next few weeks, we exchanged short/brief e-mails 1-2X a day.

So the date went very well. Almost 4 hours. Attractive, nice and it seemed like we had a great time. A lot of laughs and a lot of energy. Said goodbye and thanks with a nice kiss.

I liked her!

For the next 3 days afterwords, we exchanged more e-mails. Set a date to get together again. Good pace. Not over wellming as I have a lot going on at work.

And then......"poof". She disappeared. Vanished. No "Dear John", no "I am sorry", no "nothing".

Until it happens to you with someone you like or you think might have potential, you don't know the feelings of hurt and disappointment. And while I know this is part of the on line dating game, it does not take away the feelings of emptyness and the fear of having to do the entire process again with someone new.

I myself am guilty of the same thing only a few weeks ago. With someone that liked me but I felt no chemistry after the first date. Rather than tell her so, I simply vanished.

Maybe life does go in circles. Maybe what you do to others yesterday will come back tomorrow. But until it happens to you, you just don't know the power of rejection and hurt.

I will be "ok". Have no choice. Have two wonderful boys that I love and a great career. Also remain involved in competitive cycling, which is a healthy outlet. I am just missing the joy of having someone with me doing fun things together as a couple.

Just seems like it's taking a lot longer than it should and I am meeting a lot of women that seem to be confused with what they really want.
 
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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #6  June 28,2009, 3:52am

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I had an ex b/f tell me he was madly in love with me and it was all happening too fast....then POOF. I happend to know he had some unresolved issues in his life, so I got it. At least he said something at all, but he still poofed.
 
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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #7  June 28,2009, 3:55am

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Oh, and rRACINGRANDY- sorry for your disappointment. It's sometimes the price we have to pay in our search for a partner
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  June 28,2009, 4:27am
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Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
You "liked" her after the first date. The rule of thumb is no emotional attachment until after 6 months of exclusivity.

You've been able to sustain this idea?
 
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rRACINGRANDY is offline rRACINGRANDY Post #9  June 28,2009, 4:40am
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hopes for better weather.

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Yeah, how many of us (regardless of gender) can go into a first date or even several with the same person and not have feelings that "this could be the one"?

I could see where you want to control those feelings. Keep them in check. But the reality is, unless your Spock, those feelings are going to crop up.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #10  June 28,2009, 4:54am
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I agree with you D_lion about Oregon guy, six months without any emotional attachment, guess he never felt chemistry on first date, says something about him for sure. Your missing out Oregon guy if your holding back your emotions for 6 months. Makes me wonder if you even had a relationship that lasted more then 6 months with that kind of dating rule.

As for racing guy, you think slow is exchanging emails for 3 weeks, that is about the time I look to start phone conversations if things go well up to that point. I like to really get to know the person before setting up a date. If you get to the point that your talking every day and sometimes for hours, you can feel some chemistry going on and boy does it make the date a whole lot better, your already comfortable with the person and seeing them in person just brings a chill.

Also racing guy, you can feel it in the hug and kiss, did you feel a connection or chemistry and I don't mean down in the pants, there is a big difference. Body chemistry vs pants chemistry, no comparison when you feel it.
Last edited by tommyboy047; June 28,2009 at 4:58am.
 
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