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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #31  June 28,2009, 7:44pm
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wishes she was out in the sunshine.

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Hey Racingandy, are you not going to tell us her story!
 
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rRACINGRANDY is offline rRACINGRANDY Post #32  June 28,2009, 8:08pm
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hopes for better weather.

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She left on Thursday to be with her parents un north.Needed a break from the children. Proceeded to e-mail me and tell me about her night Saturday with her friends.

Last Tuesday, we made plans for a date tonight. Spoke about it a bunch of times Tuesday and Wednesday. Just got thst feeling she really wasn't excited. And of course this morning when she finally did appear, she didn't think it was a good idea because she had a busy weekend.

You know, I left all the windows open for her to communicate back to me. She had my number. She could have called. Instead, I get these e-mails which seem more like a "safe zone" in communicating than hearing a voice. And I asked her to call me tonight. Instead, I get another e-mail with questions that seem redundant and I have answered already. (ie: am I training again?...when she knew I had a race over the weekend)

This all points to someone that really is NOT interested in a relationship with me and basically someone just waiting for me to end it.

So I did. As nice as I could. Blamed no one. Just not a match. Really attractive and a wonderful Mother. But it appeared she just wasn't into me.

Just looking for someone that is a communicator that can date a few times a week and on weekends I don't have my children. Which is every other weekend. Just didn't think it was going to take this long.
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #33  June 28,2009, 8:28pm
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wishes she was out in the sunshine.

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Thank you for the update. It sounds like you handled it well. You are walking away with your head held high.
I hope you find someone that can be all that you want. Good things take time.
Happy searching.
 
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rRACINGRANDY is offline rRACINGRANDY Post #34  June 28,2009, 8:46pm
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hopes for better weather.

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Thanks....

My search seems to be taking a very long time. Not sure if it's me or something I am doing. Just got through a 6 month relationship from someone from this site so my luck has been "ok". But it seems like I have to go through a lot of dates before I am able to meet someone that I want to spend time with.

Welcome to dating 101.

Just have not met anyone that sets my heart on fire!
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #35  June 28,2009, 9:55pm
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tommyboy047 wrote :
After all you found enough interest to set up a date so you should give it a chance and NOT set up multi dates.
Well, let's say you are in OC with 4 guys, one for a day, one for a week, one for a month and one for an hour. Long behold one of them sets up a date with you, let's say guy who has been talking for a week. Then month old guy calls you up and sets up a date, do you go and say "sorry I have another date set up first?", or "I am busy" and then when he asks, "what are you doing?" what do you say without a lie?.

Yes if guy from hrs in OC tries to set up a date you CAN say, hey let's just chill in OC for a bit more, but in the case above there is no way how NOT to set up 2 dates.

Also, if you set up one date and it goes well, or borderline, and you cannot set up date #2 for another 2 weeks, do you just have your other matches linger? what if a woman says "hey let's meet up", what do you do?

I think it is REALLY hard NOT to go on multiple dates. Sometimes I have three in a weekend and sometimes I don't have one for a few months!

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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #36  June 29,2009, 8:21pm
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Sorry so long-
Well lavender, before I actually joined e-harmony I was receiving matches but was still unsure on joining, till I got one from someone that really interested me, so I joined. She was the only one I initiated communication with but I guess I waited to long because she never responded, I did wait 2 months, don't blame her. In the meantime I was receiving matches and received a few com requests and started the process. About a month went by and was in some sort of com with about 7 (not sure exact). I really found alot of interest in only 2, we will call them W and M. I started e-mails with W&M and closed all others. M stated she wanted to meet me no matter what happen. Sometime during the e-mails I started phone calls with W, we really started hitting it off and started talking every day, sometimes 4-6 hours at a time. At about that time I told both of them of the other and they were honest back telling me how many they were talking to, that I gotta say was very interesting. W (phone girl) was actually in the date process with one (3 dates so far I think) but told me it was not going anywhere and was keeping her options open. This kinda made me back off a bit but we were hitting it off so well, I continued to see where it would lead. Then W and I set our first date for the 1st of the month (3 weeks away), at that time we were in phone mode for over a month. Once I set this date I told M that I have a date with W and going to see how it goes. I know M said she wanted to meet me no matter what and we did hit it off but my e-harmony relationship had progressed further with W then it did with M. Once I started phone calls with W I was not going to start phone calls with M because that would not be fair, in my opinion, to W. This goes back to once I set a date, I don't set another so I guess once it proceeds to phone I don't phone another, just don't think it fair. M and I still e-mail each other and I told her about my date and how it was going, I also told W that I told M about us, honesty best policy I guess, never get caught at a lie that way. So I guess I do practice what I preach, which is a good thing to hear right? not just all mouth, lol.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #37  June 29,2009, 8:35pm
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So to address your issue now that you know what I do/did. I would have set that date with the (week one guy) because he was the one I had the most interest in but if I didn't and had more interest in (1 month guy), I would not have set the date with (week one guy) until I was sure who or which one I really wanted to date. Since I only like to date one girl at a time, I would not make that date until I was sure this could be something. I would then be honest with all of them if not before.
 
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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #38  June 30,2009, 10:52am
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it wasn't just like the first date. We hung out 4 times when I was up there and really hit it off. I am going to see her this weekend so fingers crossed. We talked for like 7 months b4 we met I have faith in this one so hopefully she doesn't break my heart.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #39  June 30,2009, 12:04pm
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cp30 wrote :
LOL. yeah, how is telling your heart to control itself working out for you?

We are humans, not robots. It doesn't work that way.

No matter how much you tell yourself not to get too attached, and there are some ways to keep your feelings at a distance, there is no way to really control your feelings, just your reactions to your feelings.
You can control your thoughts which have a huge impact on your feelings.

I do think that 6 months of exclusivity (that is like dating for at least a year) is an extreme amount of time to hold back but a very minimum of 2 to 3 months of dating is doable for anyone. Anyone can control their thoughts if they make a conscious effort to do so.
 
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murrelet30 is offline murrelet30 Post #40  June 30,2009, 4:32pm
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is in seriously deep smit... :)

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Even after dating a month or so, a poof only earns an, "eh, whatever..."

The only thing that ever gets me wrapped around the axle is being stood up. I don't do it, and I expect the same from others.

And no, I don't disappear, either, but I can't expect everyone else to be like that, too.
Last edited by murrelet30; June 30,2009 at 4:33pm. Reason: Can't type! Can't type!
 
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