Well I got her the flowers it was good now what


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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #1  June 24,2009, 12:31am
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OK so if you all have been following my last few threads this is about the same girl. The flowers didn't arrive until tuesday and she got them. I woke up thursday and to my surprise was a very nice thank you for the flowers and we talked via IM for a few b4 she went to work. I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can. I know the girl is busy w/work, school and her lymes disease. She spent last weekend in the hospital. I talked w/her Sunday on the phone. She called me back a little while later and was in tears because of her illness. I truly believe this can work but the lack of communication on her part just really makes me think twice. Sunday was the last time I talked to her. I'm going to wait till the weekend to contact her as I will hopefully be busy w/work. It helps to keep my mind off the girl. I guess I am just ranting. I asked her when I would get to see her again and she replied "I don't know". It's not that she doesn't want to see me I know that but basically what I think bugs me the most is the whole communication thing. I have made all the calls. initiated almost all of the texts. I send and email and get nothing back. I know she likes her space so I am going to give that but we are 400+ miles apart. Any advice to getting more communication from her would be nice. Thanks to all who have givin their advice. I look forward to reading the replies on here. I just have never ever felt a stronger connection w/anyone in my entire life. I would even venture to say that if it were to help her and me get to see her more I'd send her a little money to help her out and pay bills so she didnt' have to be so gosh darn busy all the time. I think me thinking this just proves how stupid I am but what can I say....I care way to much!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #2  June 24,2009, 1:14am
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AMFC3030 wrote :
OK so if you all have been following my last few threads this is about the same girl. The flowers didn't arrive until tuesday and she got them. I woke up thursday and to my surprise was a very nice thank you for the flowers and we talked via IM for a few b4 she went to work. I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can. I know the girl is busy w/work, school and her lymes disease. She spent last weekend in the hospital. I talked w/her Sunday on the phone. She called me back a little while later and was in tears because of her illness. I truly believe this can work but the lack of communication on her part just really makes me think twice. Sunday was the last time I talked to her. I'm going to wait till the weekend to contact her as I will hopefully be busy w/work. It helps to keep my mind off the girl. I guess I am just ranting. I asked her when I would get to see her again and she replied "I don't know". It's not that she doesn't want to see me I know that but basically what I think bugs me the most is the whole communication thing. I have made all the calls. initiated almost all of the texts. I send and email and get nothing back. I know she likes her space so I am going to give that but we are 400+ miles apart. Any advice to getting more communication from her would be nice. Thanks to all who have givin their advice. I look forward to reading the replies on here. I just have never ever felt a stronger connection w/anyone in my entire life. I would even venture to say that if it were to help her and me get to see her more I'd send her a little money to help her out and pay bills so she didnt' have to be so gosh darn busy all the time. I think me thinking this just proves how stupid I am but what can I say....I care way to much!
I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can.
 
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AMFC3030 is offline AMFC3030 Post #3  June 24,2009, 1:30am
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I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can.
 
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soulstar is offline soulstar Post #4  June 24,2009, 1:43am
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I would say, take a step back and see what she does next if she doesnt hear from you for a little while. If shes into you , she may be driven insane by the fact you havent contacted her and try to contact you to see where you're at...if not well then you'll know if she really wanted to hear from you again.
Again its the old adage of what a person does and not what they say that helps you to gage their real intentions. Take it slowly, be patient and wise is my best advice to you, so you can see where you really stand.
You can also speak to her about how you feel when she calls and asks why she hasnt heard from you and then see what she says. But just make sure you dont get taken for a ride if you are saying you are sending her money. Its always a nice gesture to offer to help someone but make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons, not just to make her like you more or for her to see you more, which is a slightly selfish motivation.
Real help is when someone doesnt have any motives than to help when a person is really in hard times..its much appreciated that way also.
I'd hold off on doing this for the time being until you know exactly where you stand and what her genuine intentions are for you. In my book, a phone call doesnt take long...an email less time to say hi...no matter how busy you are. I'm sure in this day and age, she has a mobile? So then it's just and excuse if she's too busy to call you. I get really busy every day and still find 5 mins to call my partner..even if its late at night and know he's asleep. The main thing is that he knows I called...and more importantly know I care. From a womans point of veiw, we'd usually do anything to show someone we really care about that we do in fact care becuase we dont want to lose you in our lives. So what's the possible excuse? If she was sick and lonely enough to call you when she was ill and needed someone, why then wont she ring you now when she's well enough to call.
Remember you dont want any further heartache than what you are experiencing, save all that emotional investmenmt for someone you really truly love with all your heart who loves you back in the same way and will cherish you...no matter the cost or the circumstance. Because this actually does exist in the world out there. Good luck and God Bless. Further advice is that prayer usually helps with you gaining a little clarity and guidance. No kidding it does!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  June 24,2009, 2:22am
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How about you just dial it down for a minute, and give her a chance to WANT to call you. From what I'm hearing, you are overdoing it. My advice - take a step back and let your emotions cool down a little.

She's busy. She is ill and spent a week in hospital. She thanked you for the flowers. My next step would be to let her make the next move. Or if you really can't wait, send her an email, saying that you would love to hear from her, when she has the time. It sounds like she genuinely does have a lot of things to deal with at present.

Even if I was interested, and a man kept calling and texting me all the time, I might lose some of the interest, at least in the initial stages. Contact once or max twice a week is more than enough. That can increase as the relationship progresses. But you need to get into a relationship first. You may be turning her off, instead of on, with this anxiety.

And breathe!
Even if this one doesn't work out, it's not exactly the end of the world, is it?
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #6  June 24,2009, 6:30am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
My next step would be to let her make the next move. Or if you really can't wait, send her an email, saying that you would love to hear from her, when she has the time.
I completely agree.

I would send an email asking her to call you when she has time to actually talk. Then step away for a bit. If she wants to call you, she will.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #7  June 24,2009, 7:24am
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She's got someone else out there, Sorry . The busy at work , but has no money is so very typical. She is just full of excuses, isn't she? She has her life out there and it includes someone else, you are her (conveniently located) "out of town affair", you would never run into her or whoever she is so "busy" with. Please don't buy into all of this. She has you at 400 miles for a reason. "I don't know", to your "when will I see you again?" question means she will have to figure out when Mr. In-Her-Town is out of the way.
AMFC3030 wrote :
OK so if you all have been following my last few threads this is about the same girl. The flowers didn't arrive until Tuesday and she got them. I woke up Thursday and to my surprise was a very nice thank you for the flowers and we talked via IM for a few b4 she went to work. I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can. I know the girl is busy w/work, school and her Lyme disease. She spent last weekend in the hospital. I talked w/her Sunday on the phone. She called me back a little while later and was in tears because of her illness. I truly believe this can work but the lack of communication on her part just really makes me think twice. Sunday was the last time I talked to her. I'm going to wait till the weekend to contact her as I will hopefully be busy w/work. It helps to keep my mind off the girl. I guess I am just ranting. I asked her when I would get to see her again and she replied "I don't know". It's not that she doesn't want to see me I know that but basically what I think bugs me the most is the whole communication thing. I have made all the calls. initiated almost all of the texts. I send and email and get nothing back. I know she likes her space so I am going to give that but we are 400+ miles apart. Any advice to getting more communication from her would be nice. Thanks to all who have giving their advice. I look forward to reading the replies on here. I just have never ever felt a stronger connection w/anyone in my entire life. I would even venture to say that if it were to help her and me get to see her more I'd send her a little money to help her out and pay bills so she didn't' have to be so gosh darn busy all the time. I think me thinking this just proves how stupid I am but what can I say....I care way to much!
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #8  June 24,2009, 8:11am
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I am in agreement with some others here that suggest you slow down... I hope sending her money was a joke but it also tells me that you have something of an obsession going here... She may be sensing this... If I can, she can...
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  June 24,2009, 8:15am
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As already stated she could have someone else. However, to be more optimistic, maybe she is being honest about everything. Only time will truly tell. I would suggest the same thing others have suggested and that is to give things times. I know that when you are single, feeling alone, and wanting someone who you feel is a great match the passion and desires can build up. You have to learn to control this and take a step back and take things one day at a time.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #10  June 24,2009, 9:20am
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[quote=AMFC3030;652217]I wanted a call but hey I gotta take what I can.
 
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