The "Law of Scarcity" (Beep Beep goes my B.S. Radar)


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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #1  June 22,2009, 10:14pm
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I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

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O.K.

I picked up a book on dating/attraction (I'm not going to endorse this book). There was a section about "the law of scarcity," pretty self explanatory. If I'm going to make a purchase, I'll be more inclined to do so if I find out there are only a few items left. "Better act now"; "For a limited time only"; "Sale ends today at 5:00"...

The author stated that people put a higher value on something that is scarce. It sounds to much like used car dating. I don't believe I've fallen victim to that; especially on-line. If someone isn't really available; I'll just move on to the next person.
or
If i'm going on the first few dates; I don't have enough emotion vested into the relationship. Why would I want spend excessive time and energy for someone who is only available once a week for a limited time? It makes me think (Can I really date someone (exclusively) who is available so scarcely?

Does anyone here get the urge to make more dating offers, when someone seems too unavailable?
 
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thoom45 is offline thoom45 Post #2  June 22,2009, 11:22pm
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KungFuFtr wrote :
O.K.

I picked up a book on dating/attraction (I'm not going to endorse this book). There was a section about "the law of scarcity," pretty self explanatory. If I'm going to make a purchase, I'll be more inclined to do so if I find out there are only a few items left. "Better act now"; "For a limited time only"; "Sale ends today at 5:00"...

The author stated that people put a higher value on something that is scarce. It sounds to much like used car dating. I don't believe I've fallen victim to that; especially on-line. If someone isn't really available; I'll just move on to the next person.
or
If i'm going on the first few dates; I don't have enough emotion vested into the relationship. Why would I want spend excessive time and energy for someone who is only available once a week for a limited time? It makes me think (Can I really date someone (exclusively) who is available so scarcely?

Does anyone here get the urge to make more dating offers, when someone seems too unavailable?
I think that you did not get his point. You HAVE fallen victim to this -- in fact you agree with it.

You 'move on' quickly because there is no lack of scarcity on the online website.

Say, just for instance, that here was very high scarcity of women on the website -- only 2 women, and 500 men. You were lucky enough to get a date with woman #2. You would certainly put a lot more effort into securing her, even though she is emotionally unavailable, because there is a very low supply of women.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  June 22,2009, 11:32pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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It depends. Are they genuinely unavailable or just playing games? 95% of the time I find that unavailable equates to not having the courage to step up and say, "Sorry, but I just don't think this is going to go anywhere," in which case, I'm not interested and I move on. For the other 5%, I'll give the benefit of the doubt, but if it becomes a continuous problem I will eventually move on to other opportunities, even if that opportunity is being single and dateless for awhile. Better that than in a so-called relationship where I am not getting the quality time I need.

I've heard of this law of scarcity theory before, and I don't put much stock in it at all, but sadly some people do. I'm not making a business deal, I'm looking to meet someone, and when you treat a person like a sale item, you might end up making poor choices, which, in my opinion, is why people hang on and get strung along for long periods of time in relationships that are going no where. They're afraid that if they let go of this one person, there will be no one out there to take his/her place and there will be no one better who will come along. Just like if they leave the car lot they won't ever get this deal on this car again. Make sense?

Anyway, there's my 2 cents....
Last edited by brneyedangel; June 22,2009 at 11:35pm. Reason: Because I still haven't learned to proofread :(
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  June 23,2009, 1:36am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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This argument sounds a little absurd to me...
Higher value attributed to scarce resources is nothing new, but given the population of the planet, I doubt it is a common trend in largely populated areas. Maybe in Sahara or some rural areas it holds more value.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #5  June 23,2009, 1:58am
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The point the author was trying to make was to make yourself scarce when someone is interested in you; thus the interested person will try harder and value any time they get with you. I don't agree with what the author was teaching because it sounds manipulative nor have I fallen victim to it.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #6  June 23,2009, 2:50am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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KungFuFtr wrote :
The point the author was trying to make was to make yourself scarce when someone is interested in you; thus the interested person will try harder and value any time they get with you. I don't agree with what the author was teaching because it sounds manipulative nor have I fallen victim to it.
Well, if a particular person is considered a "resource", then I can see the logic. But sorry, just like you, I'm not buying it for various other reasons. It is highly manipulative.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  June 23,2009, 2:57am
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Kind of wonder if the author was reacting or making a point about the fact that needy, clingy, smothering behavior will not get you far in a relationship. Therefore, if you make yourself more scarce it will work better. Meaning have a life, go do things with friends and don't always be available 24/7 to your mate. This will actually make you a more interesting person to be with since doing things outside the relationship will actually allow you to bring fresh and interesting things into the relationship.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #8  June 23,2009, 3:06am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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Interesting ...because 2 thoughts come to mind ...

Around here, it is pretty common advice to tell someone "don't make yourself too available" because doing so, or giving that appearance, is a sign of insecurity, neediness, and desperation - isn't that the same thing as saying, "make yourself scarce once in a while"?

It all boils down to "people want what they can't - or don't think they can - have" ...being scarce and not making yourself so available seems to be partially the basis for this theory ...and I have to say, not so much from experience as much as reading numerous situations and encounters, that it works for a lot of people.
 
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GILKEY is offline GILKEY Post #9  June 23,2009, 3:12am
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Be as honest as possible~! No games no bologna.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  June 23,2009, 3:32am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Interesting ...because 2 thoughts come to mind ...

Around here, it is pretty common advice to tell someone "don't make yourself too available" because doing so, or giving that appearance, is a sign of insecurity, neediness, and desperation - isn't that the same thing as saying, "make yourself scarce once in a while"?

It all boils down to "people want what they can't - or don't think they can - have" ...being scarce and not making yourself so available seems to be partially the basis for this theory ...and I have to say, not so much from experience as much as reading numerous situations and encounters, that it works for a lot of people.
I don't think that making yourself deliberately scarce is really a good idea - you would be playing games and that's silly and won't work either.

However, so often you see it happen in real life as well as reading the posts here, where one person goes completely overboard in showering their SO with attention or demanding attention. This type of clingy behavior invariably scares the SO off. Remembering that you have friends, interests, hobbies that should not be neglected just because you found someone is important. This makes you more "scarce" naturally rather than in a forced game playing way.

Personally I don't like the terminology of making yourself scarce because it implies deliberate game playing and is open to wide interpretation.
 
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