Do Men Really Want a Successful & Educated Woman?


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neardc is offline neardc Post #71  June 21,2009, 11:53pm
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LilMissSassyPants wrote :
An American Family was a documentary show (or at least is categorized as such) and the difference to me is that An American Family was intended to be educational (it was made by PBS) and The Real World is flat out entertainment.

Your opinions may be different.
We're threadjacking, so I'll end with this post. It really was a new genre, though; certainly not a traditional documentary at all. It wasn't created as a film or series with narration or a particular story line or message (in the way that a documentary typically would be). The Louds were a real family, engaged in their own (unscripted) lives, and the audience had no idea what would happen to them from week to week.

Anyway, it is often referred to as the first reality show. Certainly one can certainly see how The Real World is derived from it in some ways -- using a created household instead of an existing one...

I'm not so sure that it was intended to be educational in the traditional sense, either (PBS really does do entertainment, too...lol); rather to be provocative and innovative. And, it certainly did accomplish that, that's for sure! (I didn't really have any interest in watching it at the time -- I was in high school -- but I do still remember all of the hoopla it created...)

Interesting stuff, for sure!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #72  June 22,2009, 12:08am
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Mayne wrote :
I'd love to find a successful and educated woman ... who doesn't walk around with a chip on her shoulder, and isn't constantly bragging about her achievements. I'd also like to find one who doesn't consider herself "sophisticated" because she reads a left-wing rag like Newsweek and listens to NPR.
Seriously, how many successful and educated women do you know who are "constantly bragging about" their achievements? I know an awful lot of successful and highly educated women and I have to say that their achievments virtually never come up in conversation, much less in an attempt to brag. In general and for a number of reasons, women tend to be much more reticent than men to talk about their accomplishments...

I also don't know any women who consider themselves to be "sophisticated" for reading Newsweek (!) or listening to NPR or accessing any other source of news about the world. They may consider themselves to be better informed than someone who makes no effort to consume legitimate news outlets in order stay abreast of current events, but that's not the same as sophistication... (Of course, the same could be said of any man who likewise makes an effort to follow the news...)

As far as chips on shoulders go.... clearly there is no group (or sex) that has a monopoly on those....
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #73  June 22,2009, 4:01am
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PoliticalChick01 wrote :
As someone who has been back in the dating world for the past few months, my question is for the guys. Do you really want to date someone who is sucessful and educated as you claim, or in reality is that something that intimidates you?

I wondering this as the past 2 guys that I have gone out with has mentioned to me during our 1st date that they were unsure of going out with me at first as I intimidated them..... what???

I asked them for further clarification and they said that they were intimated by the fact that, in their words, " I'm attractive, I am a college graduate, own my own home and car, volunteer with the USO on the side, and work for the government." I'm lost as how this is intimidating as guys say they are looking for girls that are educated and have a successful job, but honestly do you really want that or someone that is not as educated as you and doesn't have their own house/car??

Since those two dates, I have not gone out with those 2 guys again even though they asked me out again as why would I want to date someone that is insecure with themselves that they would tell a girl that they intimidate them.

You would think that a guy would want a girl that can at least knows what is going on in the world that can hold a conversation with you and has a job so I wouldn't have to be a gold digger and mooch off you. Is it more the fact that I own my own townhouse that scared them off and they rent??? At least I am not homeless.

Guys, can you give me some insight into this as why you say you want a girl that is educated, has a job and is successful, then turn around and act another way when you find a girl that has all the qualities you want?
Hmmm... when I was looking, I said to myself, try to find someone with a college education, has a job, is doing all right, and who you can have a good conversation with. Those were some of the standards.

My girlfriend now, she's a doctor. She has her B.S. in chemistry, a M.D. in internal medicine, 2 years of residency under her belt, and she just got accepted to a top medical school to specialize in endocronology (it's extremely impressive... maybe 200 applicants apply, only 15 are interviewed, and there are only 2 spots available, and she got one!). And to answer your topic question, yes, I really want a woman who is successful and educated. She's not pushy or flaunts the fact that she's a doctor, no, she's caring, supportive, lets me treat her (most of the time ), and she's just a wonderful person to be with.

On a side note, she was telling me about one of her doctor friends at work who I met one time who went on a blind date recently. This girl went on a blind date with a guy she met at a cocktail party, and on paper this guy was top notch. Advanced degree, millionare, owns his own company, is heavily involved with helping the poor in India, I mean, really a catch on paper. But she was saying that she wasn't attracted to him, and there wasn't a spark. She was talking to my girlfriend and saying "When I look at you and how you're so happy with Mr_Right, that's what I want." (and rest assured, I'm definitely not a millionare ). My girlfriend convinced her that this guy was definitely second-dateworthy (the rationale was how many times will you get to meet someone this good on paper), so we'll see how it goes. So sometimes the women who are successful and educated, when they go after the successful and educated men, they're not attracted/happy with them. A interesting point.

And to answer your question at the end, having all the qualities that you list on paper in a mate doesn't mean that there's going to be attraction or a spark or chemistry.

And if those guys are intimidated by a woman with a college degree and a house, that's their issue that they have to deal with. Find someone who can accept that. Seriously, wouldn't you WANT to find someone who had a college degree and a house, expecially in these troubled times? Though people who flaunt their education and house and job won't get far in the dating market. And successful women who have the attitude "I don't need a man." won't get far either.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #74  June 22,2009, 4:03am
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neardc wrote :
Seriously, how many successful and educated women do you know who are "constantly bragging about" their achievements? I know an awful lot of successful and highly educated women and I have to say that their achievments virtually never come up in conversation, much less in an attempt to brag. In general and for a number of reasons, women tend to be much more reticent than men to talk about their accomplishments...
Darn right. My girlfriend who has the right to be introduced as "Doctor" never really introduces herself like that except to her patients. That's some serious humbleness there.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #75  June 22,2009, 4:49am
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Really, who knew this topic would attract such diversity?

I think perhaps people define 'educated' and 'successful' differently. If that's so, then perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask:

~ What does success look like to you?

~ What does an educated woman/man look like to you?

I reckon the answers would be incredibly diverse, as each of us would bring a combination of experience, intelligence, understanding; and quite possibly - ingrained 'expectations' passed onto us by people of influential presence in our lives.

I can't tell you how many times I heard from Grandpa that I would never get anywhere professionally without a Uni Degree. Was he wrong? You betcha bottom dollar he was!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #76  June 22,2009, 5:09am
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meri75 wrote :
Really, who knew this topic would attract such diversity?

I think perhaps people define 'educated' and 'successful' differently. If that's so, then perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask:

~ What does success look like to you?

~ What does an educated woman/man look like to you?

I reckon the answers would be incredibly diverse, as each of us would bring a combination of experience, intelligence, understanding; and quite possibly - ingrained 'expectations' passed onto us by people of influential presence in our lives.

I can't tell you how many times I heard from Grandpa that I would never get anywhere professionally without a Uni Degree. Was he wrong? You betcha bottom dollar he was!
To me, educated means has a college degree. This means that this person values higher education, worked hard like I worked hard at it, and has learned the basic stuff taught at colleges like critical thinking and essay writing and so forth.

Success can be much more varied though. It can range from living on your own and not having debt (or plans to pay off the debt you have), to having a top notch job that pays six figures. I guess success to me would be someone who lives by themselves (i.e. not with their parents) and has a job that they can support themselves with and have a modicum of happiness as well with their job. So it's pretty vague.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #77  June 22,2009, 5:30am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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Mr_Right wrote :
and she just got accepted to a top medical school to specialize in endocronology ...
Oh dear...
I've heard that love can have strange effects on some people... I don't know, maybe you know a doctor, who can help?

But if you are going to fall in love with an endocrinologist, you might want to double check the spelling of her profession. A truly successful and educated woman may care...

Sorry, Mr, just couldn't resist this one
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #78  June 22,2009, 5:51am
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meri75 wrote :
Really, who knew this topic would attract such diversity?

I think perhaps people define 'educated' and 'successful' differently. If that's so, then perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask:

~ What does success look like to you?

~ What does an educated woman/man look like to you?

I reckon the answers would be incredibly diverse, as each of us would bring a combination of experience, intelligence, understanding; and quite possibly - ingrained 'expectations' passed onto us by people of influential presence in our lives.

I can't tell you how many times I heard from Grandpa that I would never get anywhere professionally without a Uni Degree. Was he wrong? You betcha bottom dollar he was!
I think what I'm really thinking about with this question is "highly accomplished," whether that is by virtue of being highly educated or very successful in some other way (e.g., a business leader or corporate bigwig or whatever). It's all probably relative, too, in that what matters is the distance between yourself and the other person moreso than what the other individual's absolute level of accomplishment is... So, someone with a college degree (for example) might be seen as highly educated by someone with a high school diploma, but the person with the college degree might not think of someone as being highly educated unless he or she has an MD or a doctorate of some kind ...

And for others it just may not be any issue at all.

(Good catch, Mr. Right; way to go! Of course, she already sounded wonderful before we knew of any of her accomplishments. Ditto on ICM's comment, though. )
Last edited by neardc; June 22,2009 at 7:28am. Reason: giving proper credit...lol
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #79  June 22,2009, 5:54am
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Thanks, Moony, I knew I should have googled for it, but I was so in the post-zone that I missed that.

All I know is it's the one about diabetes and thyroid stuff.
 
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zal is offline zal Post #80  June 22,2009, 2:38pm
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Guys, can you give me some insight into this as why you say you want a girl that is educated, has a job and is successful, then turn around and act another way when you find a girl that has all the qualities you want?[/quote]

Can't speak for all guys, but I'm only attracted to smart, emotionally strong women. Education is great, but intelligence is more important. I've met a lot of airheaded phd.s and a few genius college drop outs.

I think a lot of men are intimidated by smart, strong, independent women. That's good. Less competition for me!
 
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