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NearDC - well said.
- June 21st, 2009, 11:31 am
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PoliticalChick01 wrote :
As someone who has been back in the dating world for the past few months, my question is for the guys. Do you really want to date someone who is sucessful and educated as you claim, or in reality is that something that intimidates you?

I wondering this as the past 2 guys that I have gone out with has mentioned to me during our 1st date that they were unsure of going out with me at first as I intimidated them..... what???

I asked them for further clarification and they said that they were intimated by the fact that, in their words, " I'm attractive, I am a college graduate, own my own home and car, volunteer with the USO on the side, and work for the government." I'm lost as how this is intimidating as guys say they are looking for girls that are educated and have a successful job, but honestly do you really want that or someone that is not as educated as you and doesn't have their own house/car??

Since those two dates, I have not gone out with those 2 guys again even though they asked me out again as why would I want to date someone that is insecure with themselves that they would tell a girl that they intimidate them.

You would think that a guy would want a girl that can at least knows what is going on in the world that can hold a conversation with you and has a job so I wouldn't have to be a gold digger and mooch off you. Is it more the fact that I own my own townhouse that scared them off and they rent??? At least I am not homeless.

Guys, can you give me some insight into this as why you say you want a girl that is educated, has a job and is successful, then turn around and act another way when you find a girl that has all the qualities you want?
I took the intimidated comment as a good thing - not a bad thing from these two guys. I would think being a little intimidated by our dates is something we all should be looking for. It keeps us on our toes and means that we are impressed by the person we are with. It means that we admire them and that they are someone that we would like to get to know better.

I do think it is obvious that most people want someone successful and educated - whether it is a man or woman. I don't quantify education by degrees or success by job status/things but I do want someone that I think is intelligent and is a successful human being. And I would welcome being intimidated by a date - I think that is a good thing. I want to be with someone that I admire and I want to be with some that admires me.
Last edited by LizziePooh; June 21st, 2009 at 11:38 am.
- June 21st, 2009, 11:35 am
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Here's my question. Why do women say "tell me the truth" but then online when a guy tells the truth, they give him cold shoulder?

Answer-because women do not want to know the truth. The truth and rejection hurts. In my opinion if women who complained they are too successful to date would change their dating strategies to be more approachable, they wouldn't have as much of a problem dating.

Maybe I'm wrong and men really do want to date homeless, uneducated drug addicted women.
- June 21st, 2009, 11:38 am
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The ONLY issue that I have ever had with successful, educated women is that they may often be unwilling to give their time to a relationship. They may want a relationship but if a man doesn't get to be in your presence often then he will likely look for someone that he can be with.

It is possible that men are trying to see how you & he could fit together as far as lifestyle & is unable to do so.... so he moves on.
- June 21st, 2009, 11:52 am
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bigfincat wrote :
It is possible that men are trying to see how you & he could fit together as far as lifestyle & is unable to do so.... so he moves on.
I am curious about this comment....do men do that too? I thought men were more in the moment and it is the women that are trying to picture you in our lives.
- June 21st, 2009, 12:05 pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
I am curious about this comment....do men do that too? I thought men were more in the moment and it is the women that are trying to picture you in our lives.
That is so funny that you made that comment because it came to mind as I was writing it.

Men definitely do it. Some do it in more superficial terms than others though.
- June 21st, 2009, 12:10 pm
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bigfincat wrote :
That is so funny that you made that comment because it came to mind as I was writing it.

Men definitely do it. Some do it in more superficial terms than others though.
Good to know.

I have already pictured you in my life and you would fit quite nicely!!! Plus, I have a feeling we would never have to fight for the remote control!!
- June 21st, 2009, 12:13 pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
Good to know.

I have already pictured you in my life and you would fit quite nicely!!! Plus, I have a feeling we would never have to fight for the remote control!!
That does sound like a fit could be quite seamless. As long as we blocked out all reality TV, we would have no issue there either.
- June 21st, 2009, 12:25 pm
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bigfincat wrote :
That does sound like a fit could be quite seamless. As long as we blocked out all reality TV, we would have no issue there either.
I absolutely hate reality TV. If I could do something really bad to the creators of Survivor I would!!! It is all their fault...you know!
- June 21st, 2009, 12:32 pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
I absolutely hate reality TV. If I could do something really bad to the creators of Survivor I would!!! It is all their fault...you know!
Actually the first reality show was MTVs The Real World. I blame MTV for a lot of horrible things.

I've noticed in the group of women I am friends with we're all highly educated, successful in our careers, and unmarried. I realized that some men I/we meet really want to be the provider and that once I/we had kids working would stop for awhile, and that just isn't in our nature. We've worked hard to get where we are and throwing that away is absurd. I am luckily in a career that translates well into volunteer or part time work, but I honestly just want to do something with my time once my kids are in school.

I figure if a man is bothered by the fact I am educated, successful, and versed in practical knowledge, he isn't for me.
- June 21st, 2009, 03:28 pm
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LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/26049-do-men-really-want-successful-and-educated-woman.html
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