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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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BadAtNickNames wrote :
I would actually like to date a woman who is SMARTER than me. Most of the women around here are airheads, so a woman who is smarter than me would be a breath of fresh air. My problem is with women (and people in general) who think they're TOO GOOD for me because they went to an elite school and have an elite job.
Not all women think that. In fact, I know quite a few educated women, who don't. I happen to be one of them. I don't care if you don't have a degree or if you have 10 of them. I don't even know where my actual degrees (as in papers) are right now. I recently moved and beginning to suspect they were thrown away with rubbish.

I care that a man is open-minded enough to want to learn (most of my learning happened outside of school), that he cares about something, that he has passions and ambitions (other than watching sports and drinking beer), and is doing something to achieve them. I don't even care much what those passions are (unless it's a passion for abuse and violence), I just need to feel the drive to get somewhere in life.

And if a man starts a conversation with his favorite TV star or sport player, there is no end to my snobbery.

What I'm trying to say is, if you want to date smart women, you need to be a smart man. That's all.

And good luck! We are out there, I promise
- June 20th, 2009, 08:30 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I wrote the post quickly … I’m going to get it tonight, too, since every time this topic comes up, comments like mine get attacked (by anecdotes.)

In my experience, I had not been able to get a substantive, interesting conversation with a date that lacked a degree (it’s all about TV stars, TV shows, pets, and her family.) Even with most of those who have one, I still have this problem. It is one my bigger dating frustrations.

I wouldn’t call it “nothing worthwhile,” I would call it “uninteresting,” which is a matter of personal taste, not a moral judgment.

Excepting rare people, not having a degree shuts you out of the labor market. I will not take the risk of a commitment with someone who is not onboard with the preparation and intent to pursue professional advancement (this is also a matter of lifestyle / values compatibility for me.)
I hope not - I don't see you wrote anything which should be attacked. I find your viewpoint interesting and wanted further clarification.

Many people will discuss those things because they are interested in them and may very well want your opinion.

I can honestly say that lack of a degree has not hindered my professional advancement. Perhaps you wrote 'excepting rare people' because you are not giving yourself the opportunity to meet said people and realise we aren't exactly a rare breed. (BTW - I don't mean to imply you should change your standards.)
- June 20th, 2009, 08:31 pm
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DanielJr82 DanielJr82 is offline
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I wish I had a source to back this up, but from what I read in college from my Sociology classes... statistically speaking men tend to marry (or are attracted to) women who are below their socioeconomic status. Call it a protective mindset, men like to feel like they're in control.

I generally don't pay attention to that. I just want someone I can click with, e.g. physical attraction and chemistry.
- June 20th, 2009, 08:45 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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DanielJr82 wrote :
I wish I had a source to back this up, but from what I read in college from my Sociology classes... statistically speaking men tend to marry (or are attracted to) women who are below their socioeconomic status. Call it a protective mindset, men like to feel like they're in control.

I generally don't pay attention to that. I just want someone I can click with, e.g. physical attraction and chemistry.
And you are a very smart man for that. Society is changing. Gender equality reforms are still taking place as we speak. Most of the statistical data is outdated before they even start collecting it. Go with what you feel is right. Our gut instinct rarely lets us down. It's that same instinct that tells you to snap your hand away from the flame, before your consious mind ever had a chance to process the presence of the flame. Good luck!
- June 20th, 2009, 08:58 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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DanielJr82 wrote :
I wish I had a source to back this up, but from what I read in college from my Sociology classes... statistically speaking men tend to marry (or are attracted to) women who are below their socioeconomic status.

Another way to say that is that women tend to marry (or are attracted to) men who are above their socioeconomic status.


Since I expect that most people – men and women – would rather move up than down, what would that imply about the relative weight of preference?
- June 20th, 2009, 08:58 pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
And if a man starts a conversation with his favorite TV star or sport player, there is no end to my snobbery.

What I'm trying to say is, if you want to date smart women, you need to be a smart man. That's all.
I agree completely -- and note that it works in both directions. I am not interested in conversations focused upon a woman's grandchildren or her pets.

It doesn't take degrees to be articulate, informed and intelligent -- but those characteristics must be present if I am to regard a woman as appealing.
- June 20th, 2009, 09:13 pm
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I want to be with an intelligent woman but have no special attraction to success or formal education. That means zero, zilch, nada to me.

I suppose if a slightly less intelligent woman was a ridiculous amount of fun then that would easily compensate for the slight lack in intelligence.

If I am constantly having fun then when will I have time to care about much else.
- June 20th, 2009, 09:56 pm
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I'm going to be honest. To me it doesn't matter. I have been on Match.com for some time now. All the women in my area around my age level want a guy with a PHD and who makes 100k a year. I'm thinking yeah right. I went to college for a semester, joined the military, rejoined college for 2 years and realized that it wasn't for me. College isn't for everyone. Granted you can still have an intelligent conversation with someone even without a degree. If my date has a degree then that is great. If she doesn't then that is fine too by me. I am not going to look at her any differently. I love my career and wouldn't have it any other way. Its not the greatest paying job, but I would rather make less money and be happy then have a job where I make 500k and be miserable.
- June 20th, 2009, 10:10 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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bigfincat wrote :
I want to be with an intelligent woman but have no special attraction to success or formal education. That means zero, zilch, nada to me.

I suppose if a slightly less intelligent woman was a ridiculous amount of fun then that would easily compensate for the slight lack in intelligence.

If I am constantly having fun then when will I have time to care about much else.
Now I know why I like you - we are both hedonists!
- June 20th, 2009, 10:12 pm
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When a man/anyone tells you you're too educated/too successful for them, then consider them insecure. You can't help it that you have goals/ambitions that doesn't revolve around being the damsle in distress who's waiting on a man to rescue them. Any man that you're dating should consider your success as beneficial rather than a hindrance to your relationship.

At the age of 24, I wanted to buy a new home and I asked my aunt for advice, she told me this, verbatium "if you buy a home then men will think twice about dating and marrying you because you're too independent." I thought to myself that this was the most absurd advice I've ever gotten, but didn't assert myself to my aunt for fear of hurting feelings. My thoughts are that I can't dumb myself down for the sake of being dateable and if any man I'm considering ever told me that, then we're not meant to be/he doesn't like me anyway.

Just my 2 cents.......
- June 20th, 2009, 10:21 pm
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