Do Men Really Want a Successful & Educated Woman?


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blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #121  June 26,2009, 9:36pm
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Great question. This use to bother me. I guess my story is similar to yours except that I don't own a home.
What on earth men are thinking I have no idea...I'm still befuddled by the whole process as I've yet to meet Mr Right.
On the flip side I basically want someone who can ski, hike and paddle and who protects women and children. Hah LOL and will take care of my car. I'll start with that.
 
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chiraven is offline chiraven Post #122  June 26,2009, 9:57pm
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Since my wife died in 2003, the majority of dates I've had have been with women with terminal degrees (Ph.D's or M.D.'s), even though I myself dropped out of my doctoral program just short of finishing. I've also spent considerable time in a serious relationship with a woman who held down a six-figure non-supervisory job in a high-tech field. I absolutely want a partner with impressive accomplishments and a first-rate education.

And on the whole, for reasons that are not totally clear, the better educated and more successful women I've dated also seem to have been on the average more physically attractive than the women who were less accomplished.
 
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avinash is offline avinash Post #123  June 26,2009, 10:04pm
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Yes I do, in fact I want a woman who is so successful that I can stay home, lol
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #124  June 26,2009, 10:11pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
May I ask what leads you to believe that an intelligent woman would want to date someone, who doesn't believe himself to be the sharpest crayon in the box?

From my observation, most successful couplings occur between intellectual equals (this does not mean the same though). So, I'll just reiterate what I stated here before - if you want to be with an intelligent woman, you need to be an intelligent man. And I'll add that you also need to believe in yourself and project the attitude of confidence (not arrogance or inferiority).

Good luck!
I thought this thread was about what we want not what intelligent women want
 
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popster is offline popster Post #125  June 26,2009, 10:26pm
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PoliticalChick01,
Successful and educated can mean different things. You could mean that you love your career and life, and that you are intelligent. Or you may mean that you are making big money, are powerful, and have multiple degrees from college. One approach can be charming, the other intimidating or challenging.
That said, it sounds like the two examples who were intimidated had issues of their own. Lots of guys will like you. Keep trying.
Pops
 
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avinash is offline avinash Post #126  June 26,2009, 10:27pm
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i've never understood the concern with the woman being more successful, I would see it as a positive, becaue i'd then have more time to pursue those things i've always wanted to do, learning to paint and draw, play an instrument, writing those books i've always wanted to do, taking up some activities like skydiving, instead of having to bother going into work.
 
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chapgirl is offline chapgirl Post #127  June 26,2009, 11:11pm
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Politicalchick01,

I have had the same issue. I have a Master's Degree, and have been in my career (Pastor) for 22 years now. I am independent, confident, and pretty self sufficient. It doesn't mean that I cannot be there for a partner, be vulnerable, etc. I am looking for a partner, not a prince charming to come rescue me and take care of me. But I know that does intimidate some men. I do think that more than the Master's Degree, it is the Rev. in front of my name. I am NOT intimidatiing. But most of the men don't even give me a chance for a conversation!

I was pushed out of a pastoral position by a male colleague whose reasons were that he didn't know how to supervise me because I was older than he was, (1 year), and because all but 4 people in a congregation of over 400 people liked me! He was clearly intimidated.

So yes, I do think that many men are intimidated by successful and educated women. But that's ok. I only need one, who isn't! I cannot change who I am, nor can they. I can wait for the right person. I want a soulmate and I can wait.
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #128  June 27,2009, 4:24am
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Ms. Rev,

chapgirl wrote :
I have had the same issue. I have a Master's Degree, and have been in my career (Pastor) for 22 years now. I am independent, confident, and pretty self sufficient. It doesn't mean that I cannot be there for a partner, be vulnerable, etc. I am looking for a partner, not a prince charming to come rescue me and take care of me.
You convey a very appropriate attitude – and one that is far from unanimous among women seeking mates. Many women, however, do want a prince charming. They indicate such by the criteria they identify as being important.

chapgirl wrote :
But I know that does intimidate some men. I do think that more than the Master's Degree, it is the Rev. in front of my name. I am NOT intimidatiing.
I have gone beyond Master's Degree level, so that degree certainly does not "intimidate" me. I do not regard being a minister as particularly "successful" (any more than being a teacher, a nurse, a real estate broker, etc).

However, I would not pursue a relationship with a female minister – NOT because she was successful or "powerful" or degreed, but because she is obviously (or apparently) religious and I am not, and because I am not interested in having my relationships shaped by religious considerations, and because I am not interested in discussing religious theories.

Unless I told you this, you would not know why I did not respond to you or contact you. You could SPECULATE that it was because you are successful or intimidating (or old or young, or tall or short, or heavy or skinny), but you would be dead wrong.

It is not my concern whether anyone is right or wrong in their thinking – that is their problem, not mine. However, I point out for all to consider that we seldom know the real reason people do not pursue contact with us (even if they offer a "good" reason).

We make large blunders when we assume that we know what we do not know.

chapgirl wrote :
But most of the men don't even give me a chance for a conversation!
That's life. It is known as "kissing frogs". We put out a notice that we are available and the vast majority of people couldn't care less – for whatever reason. When our announcement is treated with indifference, many become bitter and resentful, particularly "older" women who "know" that the reason they are not sought after as mates is their age or appearance – perhaps not realizing that being bitter and resentful is not appealing. (Note: the latter comments are not directed toward anyone in particular).

chapgirl wrote :
I was pushed out of a pastoral position by a male colleague whose reasons were that he didn't know how to supervise me because I was older than he was, (1 year), and because all but 4 people in a congregation of over 400 people liked me! He was clearly intimidated.
Yes, your competitor may have been intimidated. He was also evidently more powerful because he eliminated you.

You seem to think that you know his motivations beyond question. However, it IS possible that he concluded that you were not sincere, that you were bad for the congregation, that you were personally ambitious.

He may have been wrong in his evaluation of you, but my point is that it is very unlikely that you can be certain of his true motivations. It is just as wrong to assume to know the motivations of those who do not find us appealing or interesting enough to pursue a relationship.

chapgirl wrote :
So yes, I do think that many men are intimidated by successful and educated women.
Yes, and there are many men who are NOT intimidated by successful and educated women.

Can you define "success" as you use the term here – without reference to income or power / influence / status?

I define success in life far differently than most. A person who is consumed by their need to acquire wealth or position or status at the expense of other aspects of life is NOT successful in my opinion.

chapgirl wrote :
But that's ok. I only need one, who isn't! I cannot change who I am, nor can they. I can wait for the right person. I want a soulmate and I can wait.


 I say something similar (but do not use the term "soulmate"). However, I avoid concluding that I know why some or many women do not choose to consider a partnership with me. It could be because they think that I am "too old" or it could be because they realize that they could not keep up – or anywhere between – or because I wear a beard – or because I cut off all my hair -- or anything else.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #129  June 27,2009, 5:23am
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blueshoe wrote :
I've yet to meet Mr Right.
I've seen him around here, not long ago. You may not have noticed because he spells his name with this annoying underscore. But he is a pretty cool guy, from what I hear. It's a shame he's taken, but get in line, girl, because I'm next
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #130  June 27,2009, 5:27am
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Benevolence32 wrote :
I thought this thread was about what we want not what intelligent women want
It's all the same on the Moon, you see. But then again, I may just be in an opiate daze from watching all that TV
 
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