What do women want? (mostly for men)

A friend of mine is a player. About two months ago he and I had this discussion of how he became a player. Here is what he said.

"It was the mid 90s and the dot com bubble was at its peak. I was in IT and made over $100K a year. I had the Mercedes and the house on a cliff. And I really wanted to marry this beautiful girl. I asked her out and she agreed. I went on 3 dates with her and finally kissed her on the third date. When I asked her for a 4th date she refused saying that she had started seeing "Bobby" a guy she had known for a long time. I was devastated...I knew Bobby. I had hung out with her and Bobby before. Bobby was the guy you didn't mess with, He had been in prison a couple of times, he usually picked fights at the bar, and in fact he would treat this girl real mean in front of everyone. I detested everything Bobby stood for and here, the love of my life is saying that she was picking Bobby over me. I was crushed.

My first response was to be like Bobby, get into fights, get arrested for stupid things, treat her like sh*t...but then I realized that an intelligent man does not do those things. So I started reading everything I could find about how to make a woman fall for you. I read Machiavelli and I read Murato. I just wanted to know what a woman wants. And slowly I realized something. A woman is very complicated. She is so complicated that she herself does not know what she wants. She only knows what she responds to.

Have you ever noticed how a woman says that she is always attracted to the wrong guy? Is this girl so stupid that she cant avoid that type of a guy? NO..what this girl is saying is that she cant help but respond to that type of person in spite of the fact that she knows its bad for her. This guy gives her the butterflies.

So suddenly it was all clear. I was the perfect guy... I had a great job, I was good looking, I treated her right and I was everything my perfect woman could ever want in a man. But "Bobby"..why he gave her the butterflies."

My friend then asked me this question...and I am asking this to the rest of you guys. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be the perfect guy or the guy who gives the girl butterflies. Please dont start arguing with me about how thats a false dichotomy and how a perfect guy "can" give a woman butterflies. Every guy who reads this post on this boards understands what I am talking about. (Yes that was a real conversation that I had with a real friend) What I think that we will all benefit from is for us to throw around what gives a woman butterflies.

I continued talking to my friend and asked him the same question. He said confidence and persistence. And then we started on philosophical path of discussing confidence and what Buddha said about it etc and we never got back to the topic of women.

So let me ask you guys. What are some of the stuff that you have done that you know gave the woman butterflies? If you cant think of any instance, tell us what you have heard a guy do that you had the aha moment with respect to a woman feeling those emotions?

Ladies... I am very afraid to ask you what you think. See... I am not trying to figure out what you want. I want to see what you responded to. Not from a guy who you had been stalking...but a guy who walked up to you and was initially not who you would have gone for. Please play nice and post in good taste. We as men are trying to figure out how to give you the butterflies.

A friend of mine is a player. About two months ago he and I had this discussion of how he became a player. Here is what he said.

"It was the mid 90s and the dot com bubble was at its peak. I was in IT and made over $100K a year. I had the Mercedes and the house on a cliff. And I really wanted to marry this beautiful girl. I asked her out and she agreed. I went on 3 dates with her and finally kissed her on the third date. When I asked her for a 4th date she refused saying that she had started seeing "Bobby" a guy she had known for a long time. I was devastated...I knew Bobby. I had hung out with her and Bobby before. Bobby was the guy you didn't mess with, He had been in prison a couple of times, he usually picked fights at the bar, and in fact he would treat this girl real mean in front of everyone. I detested everything Bobby stood for and here, the love of my life is saying that she was picking Bobby over me. I was crushed.

My first response was to be like Bobby, get into fights, get arrested for stupid things, treat her like sh*t...but then I realized that an intelligent man does not do those things. So I started reading everything I could find about how to make a woman fall for you. I read Machiavelli and I read Murato. I just wanted to know what a woman wants. And slowly I realized something. A woman is very complicated. She is so complicated that she herself does not know what she wants. She only knows what she responds to.

Have you ever noticed how a woman says that she is always attracted to the wrong guy? Is this girl so stupid that she cant avoid that type of a guy? NO..what this girl is saying is that she cant help but respond to that type of person in spite of the fact that she knows its bad for her. This guy gives her the butterflies.

So suddenly it was all clear. I was the perfect guy... I had a great job, I was good looking, I treated her right and I was everything my perfect woman could ever want in a man. But "Bobby"..why he gave her the butterflies."

My friend then asked me this question...and I am asking this to the rest of you guys. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be the perfect guy or the guy who gives the girl butterflies. Please dont start arguing with me about how thats a false dichotomy and how a perfect guy "can" give a woman butterflies. Every guy who reads this post on this boards understands what I am talking about. (Yes that was a real conversation that I had with a real friend) What I think that we will all benefit from is for us to throw around what gives a woman butterflies.

I continued talking to my friend and asked him the same question. He said confidence and persistence. And then we started on philosophical path of discussing confidence and what Buddha said about it etc and we never got back to the topic of women.

So let me ask you guys. What are some of the stuff that you have done that you know gave the woman butterflies? If you cant think of any instance, tell us what you have heard a guy do that you had the aha moment with respect to a woman feeling those emotions?

Ladies... I am very afraid to ask you what you think. See... I am not trying to figure out what you want. I want to see what you responded to. Not from a guy who you had been stalking...but a guy who walked up to you and was initially not who you would have gone for. Please play nice and post in good taste. We as men are trying to figure out how to give you the butterflies.

The women that go for the chaotic guys are the types of women I try to stay away from. The psycho dynamics of codependency is not a healthy relationship to strive for.
I know a woman who has a professional job, nice house, new car and she appears to have a good head on her shoulders. She is obsessed with her ex boyfriend who is unemployed (lost his job as a teacher because he was texting a 16 year old), cheated on her, cheats on his fiance and has a child he's never seen.
This lady I know has left work to bail him out of trouble; she lends him her car and she takes the guy back frequently.
Some people can't differentiate love and chaos. They have to have an element of dysfunction in their love life.
Anyways...
I had two separate women that I've dated who said it was the fact that I looked them in the eyes when I spoke to them.

It was the mid 90s and the dot com bubble was at its peak.