Need some advice

I will try to make it short. I have been seeing a woman for 4 months. We took about a month off as she said she just wanted to be friends and kept in touch. After our break, we met up and told each other we liked one another. She became serious, saying things like why don't we just throw caution to the wind & go for it as in a relationship. So we have 3 great dates over a week and she saying she might relocate for work and asked me how I felt about that? I told her I would be sad, but you have to do what is going to make you happy. She even said you could come with me...which kind of freaked me out, but I just smiled. We have been intimate. I know she is going through a lot with her work and she has some big choices. She is 40 and wants to have a baby. Its been a week since we were together and she has kind of been blowing me off. I asked her if everything is okay and got fine I just have lots going on and she said thats why I wanted to be casual. I really have developed strong feelings for her. Should I give her space? Tell her how I feel? End it?

Well, I'm going to disagree with the majority here, because I'm seeing a completely different picture.

1. Women in their 40's, who want to have children, are still people, who can experience a wide range of emotions, just like everyone else. They are not walking incubators, and most of them don't want to have a child just with any man, but with the right man. Otherwise, there are sperm banks.

2. If I told you that I might have to relocate for work, then even half-jokingly indicated that you would be welcome to join, and you just smiled at me and said it would be "sad", I would take it as a clear indication that you would not be interested in continuing the relationship, if I really did have to move. It would be different if you at least said something along the lines of "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it". That would at least indicate to me some flexibility and desire to cooperate.

3. In the current economic climate, most of us cannot just tell our bosses "sorry, I can't move because I'm in love, find somebody else to go there". If someone came to me with that, although I would try to accommodate a valuable staff member, I would not keep her on, if the alternative would cost the company more money or negatively affect my targets. There are plenty of highly qualified people looking for work now.

4. Combining 2 & 3 above, I would say that the woman is in self-preservation mode, preparing for the worst. She probably thinks that your feelings for her are not strong enough. The reason she is avoiding you is probably because she does have feelings for you and does not want them to get any stronger, since she'll only experience more pain if she has to relocate (given that you have not indicated that you would be interested in pursuing the relationship with some adjustments, if that was the case). Moreover, I doubt that even the people, who advised you to dump her, would actually behave any differently in this situation, if their own feeling were on the line. Her behavior is quite natural, even if somewhat confusing.

I may be wrong here, of course, but if you really do have strong feelings for this woman, and possibly willing to find a compromise in case she does have to relocate, then giving her space would be the last thing to do right now. I would stongly advise to tell her about your feelings. Put it this way, what exactly do you have to lose? Some pride in the eyes of a woman who may reject you and you'll never see again? On the other hand, if my feeling about this is right, you have a whole lot to gain

Good luck!

I will try to make it short. I have been seeing a woman for 4 months. We took about a month off as she said she just wanted to be friends and kept in touch. After our break, we met up and told each other we liked one another. She became serious, saying things like why don't we just throw caution to the wind & go for it as in a relationship. So we have 3 great dates over a week and she saying she might relocate for work and asked me how I felt about that? I told her I would be sad, but you have to do what is going to make you happy. She even said you could come with me...which kind of freaked me out, but I just smiled. We have been intimate. I know she is going through a lot with her work and she has some big choices. She is 40 and wants to have a baby. Its been a week since we were together and she has kind of been blowing me off. I asked her if everything is okay and got fine I just have lots going on and she said that's why I wanted to be casual. I really have developed strong feelings for her. Should I give her space? Tell her how I feel? End it?