magilla1981 is offline magilla1981 Post #1  June 15,2009, 5:56pm
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So I hate this. I went out on a date after 4 hrs of we parted for the night. I mean she didn't have to stick around for 4 hrs if the date was going bad or if she wasn't interested there were plenty of times she could have just said oh I have to leave and then go.

However what really kills me is that I asked her out again, and she says she's busy for the foreseeable future. What is so hard about saying your a nice guy but I'm just not interested? I'm not stupid I know she's blowing me off, but to be so ambiguous about it kills me. I've turned down a couple women but I don't send them emails saying oh I'm busy we'll see later, I tell them they seem nice but aren't my type, or I just don't feel the chemistry.

I guess I'm just venting, but I just hate being told maybe, or something else ambiguous because someone is afraid of hurting my feelings. One thing is I don't know if just to let it go or let her know its ok if its over, I mean it was only one date, and a couple of conversations. Plus its not like I don't have like 9 other women I'm talking to anyways.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  June 15,2009, 6:10pm
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Just let it go. No further comments are required from you and would make you appear bitter.

As you said you have other matches that you are communicating with so just move on to the next one of those that seems to be the best fit.

FYI I have been on many a 4 hour first date to never get a second date.
 
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dreamingartist is offline dreamingartist Post #3  June 15,2009, 6:23pm
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maybe you seemed too interested? I had a date myself and it was a good 4 hour setup... After the date I wanted to talk to her more but I just let it ride... the next day I got a nice text message telling me she had a great time, she enjoyed talking and my company and she hoped to see me again. So i called her up and we are going out again this week. I didn't try and kiss her, or show any sincere physical interest, I was just myself, honest, and a good listener and let her do alot of the talking and leading in things. (at least the first hour or two).

Maybe you can explain your date a bit more and tell us what kind of things you did, and how you felt it went in your eyes.

It sounds like according to your message it was a shocker that she didn't wanna see you again. Give us the play by play.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #4  June 15,2009, 6:45pm

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the same thing happened to me except that after meeting, she said "next time we'll have to do it in your town"
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #5  June 15,2009, 7:10pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Just let it go. No further comments are required from you and would make you appear bitter.

As you said you have other matches that you are communicating with so just move on to the next one of those that seems to be the best fit.

FYI I have been on many a 4 hour first date to never get a second date.
I agree; when someone says they're busy for the foreseeable future, they aren't interested. Sorry it didn't work out, but keep talking to those other matches--you never know what could happen there.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  June 16,2009, 3:31am
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In those 4 hours she learned enough about you to find dealbreakers. You might as well be happy no additional time is being wasted in chasing after the wrong person. Also, since you have all these other matches and dates, what do you care about the one who was not a good match after all? Why even waste the effort thinking about it? After just one date you don't owe each other anything.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  June 16,2009, 7:22am
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magilla1981

Forget this child. All she is doing is playing the teen girl game which you do not need or want. You should be spending your time getting to know the other women you are interested in. Good luck
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #8  June 16,2009, 12:51pm
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brneyedangel wrote :
I agree; when someone says they're busy for the foreseeable future, they aren't interested. Sorry it didn't work out, but keep talking to those other matches--you never know what could happen there.
I agree, even the busiest of people will make time for lunch or a quick coffee if they are interested in the person. I certainly understand what the OP is going with. Last year before I got with my ex I went on a date with a girl from OkCupid, we went out and had a nice dinner. I didn't have any after dinner plans but wanted the chance to talk to her more so I suggested we go for a coffee. We went to the local starbucks and while my goal was to talk to her a bit and get to know her a bit better, after she got her coffee she said she had to get home as she had a curfew (she was 18 -- I think -- so I kind of found it hard to believe). It was obvious she wasn't interested in me, but what really ticked me off was that she send me a text message that evening telling me she had a nice time but made a point to tell me that she wasn't sure when we would be able to go out again as she was very busy. To be honest I wasn't extremely interested either and so we never spoke again after that.
 
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