SnowyDew is offline SnowyDew Post #1  June 14,2009, 6:55pm
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I have been talking to this man from eharmony for a couple of weeks now. He is very nice and seems sincere. Yet he said he would call me (explicitly in a message) today and hasn't (as of yet, and it's almost 11pm). He also said he was about to call me the other day as well... What could possibly be wrong? or what could this mean? Should I text him to give him a nudge? or should I just intiate communication myself?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  June 16,2009, 10:10am
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I don't like calling people but if you call me I don't mind talking on the phone. It could be that this guy has a similar fear to calling poeple. Or it could be that he is just not that into you.
 
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JDavid is offline JDavid Post #3  June 16,2009, 10:45am
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SnowyDew wrote :
I have been talking to this man from eharmony for a couple of weeks now. He is very nice and seems sincere. Yet he said he would call me (explicitly in a message) today and hasn't (as of yet, and it's almost 11pm). He also said he was about to call me the other day as well... What could possibly be wrong? or what could this mean?
I would interpret the failure to do what one says as a lack of integrity. Either a person does what they promise or they do not. Excuses and "explanations" don't matter (except in the case of true catastrophe). We should be careful to not promise what we will not or cannot deliver. "I will call you tomorrow" IS a promise.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  June 16,2009, 10:55am
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SnowyDew wrote :
I have been talking to this man from eharmony for a couple of weeks now. He is very nice and seems sincere. Yet he said he would call me (explicitly in a message) today and hasn't (as of yet, and it's almost 11pm). He also said he was about to call me the other day as well... What could possibly be wrong? or what could this mean? Should I text him to give him a nudge? or should I just initiate communication myself?
Sorry he hasn't called or did what he said he would. A lot of people say "talk to you later", "see you later" as just a way to leave things opened ended. You may not know what has come up for him that he did not call. Please don't wait by the phone or send him a nudge, He knows your number. If he is busy , he'll call another time. If he is insincere, or unreliable then that will come out too. Cheer up and keep busy with other things
 
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NiceJewishJerseyGirl is offline NiceJewishJerseyGirl Post #5  June 16,2009, 11:21am
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I take the other side, and say to send him the text! I would write something like "Hey, what happened? You were going to call last night... still interested in chatting?" If he doesn't respond to that with an "oops, I forgot" and/or "please forgive me," then you should forget him.

There's no sense in forgoing a good guy just cause he's busy. It's a bit inconsiderate, but understandable as well.

The only thing that concerns me is your line: "he also said he was about to call me the other day as well." However, I'm interpreting this to mean that he mentioned he was thinking of calling you the other day, and not that you had set up plans for him to do so which he fell through on. If it is the latter, I would change my position and side with the guys posting previously here.

Good luck to you and happy dating!

NJJG
 
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NiceJewishJerseyGirl is offline NiceJewishJerseyGirl Post #6  June 16,2009, 11:45am
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Last edited by NiceJewishJerseyGirl; June 16,2009 at 11:47am.
 
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bibi2007 is offline bibi2007 Post #7  June 16,2009, 12:32pm
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I have the same problem. I have been dating someone for the last 7 months. He used to call every night at the beginning. we see each othe every weekend. now he calls every other day.sometimes he tells me"talk to you later" this means every other day, If he says "I will talk to you tomorrow" We only talk for 10-15 minutes He keeps his word and calls me.I get very anxious if he does not call me every day, but I guess I have to be understanding. I am beginning to accept that some men are not a phone person. Sometimes it scares me. I begin to think he may be loosing interest and may leave. I understand how you feel. be patient. we have to find the way to overcome insecurity.
 
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bibi2007 is offline bibi2007 Post #8  June 16,2009, 12:34pm
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[quote=bibi2007;644330]I have the same problem. I have been dating someone for the last 7 months. He used to call every night at the beginning. we see each othe every weekend. now he calls every other day.sometimes he tells me"talk to you later" this means every other day, If he says "I will talk to you tomorrow" We only talk for 10-15 minutes He keeps his word and calls me.I get very anxious if he does not call me every day, but I guess I have to be understanding. I am beginning to accept that some men are not a phone person. Sometimes it scares me. I begin to think he may be loosing interest and may leave. I understand how you feel. be patient. we have to find the way to overcome insecurity.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  June 16,2009, 12:41pm
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There could be any number of things. First off there are some people that truly are far too busy to pick up the phone. If this is the case an this is a problem for you than I wouldn't continue trying to pursue the relationship. On the other hand he may not be all that into or talking to other people. If this is something you are okay with at this moment in time than I would say to go with the flow.

As other have pointed out, maybe he doesn't like the phone. I am one person who loves the phone, I enjoy actually hearing the other person's voice and I get very bored with typing back and forth in emails. There are many guys who would rather stay behind the keyboard. If this is a problem for you than again I would seek someone else.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #10  June 16,2009, 12:42pm
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A lot of men absolutely *HATE* telephones and utterly loathe "texting".


More of them out there than you think. Sometimes, all they prefer is to keep the call very brief: "Hi Joanie, it's Fred. Would you enjoy meeting at the "Chez Pretense" French restaurant for dinner at 7pm on this Saturday? Great!!! I'll pick you up at your place in the Mercedes at 6.30 so we won't be late due to traffic, and I look forward to it. It should be fun. Thanks, see you then, buh-bye".


This to me, for a normal date, should suffice. Face to face interaction on the date can last as long as each person fancies.


Your mileage may vary.
 
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